Music To Get Epinions Men In Bed With Me
Jul 03 '01 (Updated Jul 07 '01)
The Bottom Line Read The Review Man...It Talks About Dirty Stuff...
WARNING: THIS EPINION CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT
Romance shmomance...
Let's get right to the nitty gritty.
THE DIRTY TEN
Let's say Epinions is having a huge party, somewhere in the central United States, in a stadium type arena elaborately decorated in the usual Epinions.com logo and motif. This isn't a mingling social with champagne and sushi, this is a jam pumpin' strobe lightin', full out rave, with four complete bars, one on each side...
...Are you there yet? Everyone who's anyone on Epinions is.
Okay, now let's say that the DJ is a close personal friend of mine, and he knows I have my eyes on one certain Epinions member...and he knows who he is...only I can't tell you that. Come on, you can't know all of my freaked out fantasies, can you?
I've burned a cd, deadly intent on getting on getting ::insert member name here:: to leave the party with me.
(I forgot to explain that my husband sadly couldn't make it.)
After showing a little leg, the DJ complies to play the whole thing...giving me ten minutes to begin my conversation with ::insert member name here:: before he plays it.
I head over to the South bar, where ::insert member name here:: is sitting, and proceed to sit down to introduce myself. I break him from his prospective list of friends, glancing at their popular Epinions ids, then looking down at my lame "young1028, and do my best to catch his attention. Feeling a little low on the self esteem for a minute, I remembered that I looked totally hot that night, so I threw my funk/hootchie moves on him.
He recognized who I was, and seemed a tad bit interested. Being that it had took me eight minutes to cross from the DJ booth to the bar ::insert member name here:: was sitting at, I knew the music would play soon. The timing was perfect. As soon as he turned around on his barstool, the music started.
"I love myself, I want you to love me, when I feel down I want you above me, I search myself, I want you so find me, I forget myself, I want you to remind me...I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I touch myself..."
I Touch Myself by the Divinyls was the perfect starting song, and I couldn't help but giggle while the song played, and I'm sure that ::insert member name here:: noticed.
I notice the party liven up a bit when my next song, Faded by Soul Decision started to play. ::insert member name here:: ordered me a Timberwolf, and although I was already feeling pretty good, what was a lady to do but drink it? Some serious eye contact going on at the time, with the persuasive lyrics blaring in the background...
"I'm kinda faded but I feel all right, thinkin bout making my move tonight, I can't pretend that you're only my friend when you're holding my body tight, cuz I like the way your makin' your move, the way you're makin' me wait, at the end of the night when I make up you're mind, you'll be coming on home with me..."
"Whoa, this cd's really working I thought", proud of the way things were going. Now the party's really pumping with What's Your Fantasy skillfully crafted by the likes of Ludicris. I noticed a few other Epinions members suggestively dancing in hidden nooks, but who could help it?
"I wanna get you in the bathtub with the candles lit, you give it up 'til they go out, or we can do it onstage at the Ludicris concert, cause you know it got sold out. The red carpet d*ck will just roll out, go 'head and scream you can't hold out..."
::insert member name here:: buys me another drink. The next song starts, none other than How Many Licks by Lil' Kim feat. Sisco. Man, four songs into the cd, and I had the whole party horny!
"I been a lot of places, seen a lot of faces, aw hell, I even f*ck with different races, a white dude, his name was John, he had a Queen Bee rules tattoo on his arm..."
*Note that I'd have went a bit farther with those lyrics, but Cell Block 8 is already open...
Needless to say, my cd played on, as did I, and me and ::insert member name here:: had a good ol' time I tell ya. As AC/DC blared Shook Me All Night Long we sipped and we talked small talk.
He finally asked me to dance, and that's when I had to break it down for him. We tore up Montell Jordan's Let's Get It On Tonight, Mystikal's Danger, Juveniles's Back That *ss Up. Soon, we were exhausted from all the dancing, and had to move to a more private area to sit down.
Boy was I on top of the world. This man, this Epinions ::GREAT::, was into me. If nothing else, he wanted to scrogg, and that was wonderful at the time. At that time, my 9th track began to play, happening to be Freak Me by Silk.
Sitting in a small private booth off to the left of the DJ booth, the lyrics boomed in our heads...
"Baby don't you understand, I wanna be your nasty man, I wanna make your body scream, you'll know just what I mean..."
I've never heard a song with such powerful pull on my mojo in all my life, and by this time, we were crazy all over each other.
Neither of us could take no more, and so right in the middle of the song I pulled ::insert member name here:: by the collar and guided him to the DJ booth.
I explained to the DJ that I needed my cd back immediately, and he complied, leaving many Epinions members in a "blueballed state", stopping the music erratically. Then he proceeded to liven up the party with some Dirty Pop.
::snickering wickedly::
(Hey, this is my fantasy, right?)
Crossing the large parking lot to ::insert member name here::'s car, we discussed our obsessions with Epinions as I twirled the cd on my index finger.
Once in his car, a hunter green hummer with all wood grain interior, (mind you, again, this is my fantasy), I was itching to play the "dirty ten" as some buddies and I refer to it. He started her up, I slipped my cd in, and selected track number 10.
"you let me violate you,
you let me desecrate you
you let me penetrate you,
you let me complicate you
help me i broke apart my insides,
help me I've got no soul to sell
help me the only thing that works for me,
help me get away from myself
i want to f*ck you like an animal
i want to feel you from the inside
i want to f*ck you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed
you get me closer to god
Pulling over...
you can have my isolation,
you can have the hate that it brings
you can have my absence of faith,
you can have my everything
help me tear down my reason,
help me it's your sex i can smell
help me you make me perfect,
help me become somebody else
i want to f*ck you like an animal
i want to feel you from the inside
i want to f*ck you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed
you get me closer to god
through every forest, above the trees
within my stomach, scraped off my knees
i drink the honey inside your hive
you are the reason i stay alive"
Amen.
BTW, that's Nine Inch Nails with Closer, the most awsome sexual song in the world. Can't resist it!
Please acknowledge that this is nothing more than a screwed up fantasy of mine, and a way of showing off the TOP TEN SONGS THAT MAKE ME HORNY BABY. I hope you enjoyed, or at least laughed at my story. Night.
*Also acknowledge that I'm extremely drunk. Enjoy that too, and rate accordingly foo'.
Are you threatening me?
=)
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Epinions.com ID:
young1028
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Member: Evelyn Parker
Location: Kentucky
Reviews written: 139
Trusted by: 89 members
About Me:
Writer's Corner: A NEW and IMPROVED way to keep us out of Nirav's hair.
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