Children Read Your Body Language...Be Honest with Them.
Sep 19 '01
The Bottom Line Be honest with your children, they can read your body language and know when something is wrong. If you aren't honest with them, they will be even more afraid.
I could write a million words on how I feel about what happened to our country on September 11th. Never in my life have I experienced something more horrifying. I was glued to the television for days. I couldn't work, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I had felt like I had been victimized and that my privacy had been invaded even though I live states away from both Washington D.C. and New York City. I was in a daze and I was an emotional mess. Crying everytime I saw the story of one of the victim's families, or everytime I saw the firefighters or the rescue workers.
I never thought that my 3 year old would be affected or that this would make an impact on him. He's smart but in no way smart enough to understand what was going on. I was wrong. Not about him understanding what was wrong but about him being affected by this.
My body language and mannerisms clued him in that something was wrong and he was scared. He had never seen mommy this way. As I withdrew from my surroundings, he also did. My happy, lively boy was sullen and withdrawn. I knew then that I had to snap out of it and get back to living.
If you have an older child, this is more difficult. Some parents may wonder, do they shield their child from this or do they honsetly tell them what happened? They can read your body language too and if you are scared they are going to be scared. If you are angry, they are going to feel the same way. The best thing to do is to be honest with them about what is happening. You don't need to give them all the details, just enough for them to understand that something bad has happened but that they are safe. Resume your daily routine. Try to make things as normal as possible again so they feel safe.
If you have a child that is in school, chances are that they are hearing about this in school. You cannot shield them from this. Children talk and spread stories. Your child is possibly hearing scary stories about war and more terrorist attacks from other children. Watch the news with them for a little while at night so they have a good grasp at what is going on. You can explain to them anything that they don't understand. If you are scared, tell them that you are. If you are angry, tell them that you are and why. Also tell them that you have nothing to worry about and that people are working to protect you and the country.
This is a difficult time for all of us but we will get through this. This is not the end. Don't underestimate your children. They know more than you think they know and they are stronger than you will ever believe.
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