The Ten Commandments of Epinions
Oct 14 '01
The Bottom Line Here are 10 golden rules of Epinions. If we all obeyed them, the community would be a happier place for everyone. We can dream on, yeah?
First thing’s first, I’m not a pompous police officer. And forgive me if I sound like one. It would be hypocritical for me to condemn other Epiniacs when I’m probably just as bad myself. However, I’m despising the sin and not the sinner, and there are some Epinion sins which really wind me up the wrong way.
Are you obeying the Ten Commandments? I’m not talking about the ones on Moses’ sacred scroll (although you might say that’s advisable too). I’m referring to the rules of Epinion village. No community is complete without its system of law and order, and Epinions is just the same. This review is dedicated to the heinous crimes of rubberstamping, revenge rating etc., in the faint hope that maybe together we can stamp them out.
So here (in no particular order) are my ten golden rules of Epinions:
1) Thou shalt not rubberstamp
Rubberstamping is the most common crime of all and we’re all guilty. Who, when faced with a long review, has never simply scrolled down to the bottom and clicked the ‘Very Helpful’ button? All the reviews a rubberstamper rates are marked ‘Very Helpful’ or even ‘Most Helpful’, although they haven’t actually read them.
It’s highly tempting, this one. It means that the people you rate will probably come back and rate you ‘Most Helpful’ in gratitude. (They’re likely to be rubberstampers themselves.) It also means that the process of rating is much less time consuming. Well, rubberstamping may be a minor offence, but it defeats the purpose of Epinions. Sure, it’s about writing quality reviews but it’s also about reading them. Agreed?
2) Thou shalt not revenge rate
Suppose you wrote a really bad review. Suppose it was made up of the same sentence typed again and again, to fill your 100 words. You might give it a catchy title (like ‘Dial my number for cheap thrills) to make people read it, even though it was meant to be an epinion on insect repellent.
I’m not suggesting any of you would do this. But I know some epiniacs do. And, quite rightly, they get their ‘Not Helpfuls’ by the bucketload. What really bugs me is when these people strike back. They click on your name, find your latest review, and rate as you rated them, even though you’ve already had twelve ‘Most Helpfuls’ from the editors.
It goes without saying that this is a petty, pathetic and immature thing to do. Luckily, there’s an easy solution – and that’s called the Block List. Thank heaven for the Block List.
3) Thou shalt not reaction write
Otherwise known as ‘Taking Advantage of the System’, this involves writing a review just to provoke a reaction. A reaction-writer will start with a title like ‘I think all blacks should be shot’. The stupidity of this – the stupidity and the bigotry and the ignorance – will almost certainly get a response. People will read it and leave a furious comment and add them to their Block List, but that’s what the reaction-writer wants. He or she is a very sad person. They know people hate them but hey, they’re making money. Whoopee-doo.
I call the rubberstampers, revenge-raters and reaction-writers the three Rs of Epinions. Theirs is a craft we should all learn to recognise. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.
4) Thou shalt leave a comment
Ah, the power of the comment. It’s a sure-fire way to get yourself noticed. If a review really stands out, don’t just sit back and let the words wash over you! Give the writer some feedback. And unless they’re incredibly lazy, they’ll come visit you too.
5) Thou shalt leave page breaks
This is especially useful if you’re attacked by the rubberstampers. Paragraphs, page breaks and maybe a bit of bold all make a review easier on the eye, and there are a few epiniac criminals who can only deal with easy on the eye. (There are some very nasty people in the world.)
You may have written a masterpiece epinion that Shakespeare himself would be proud of. However, if it’s all one solid chunk of text some people assume second rate. The same applies if the whole review’s written in capitals. Unless your CAPS LOCK key’s jammed there’s really no excuse. Capital letters are bad netiquette – it makes it look like you’re booming out the epinion on a loudspeaker.
(Remember – these rules exist for our own benefit! By disobeying this one you risk the plague of the Somewhat Helpfuls.)
6) Trust others as you would have them trust you
I have no right to preach about the WOT because, as you can see, my list is not very extensive yet. I’m still a newbie here and there are many trustworthy epiniacs I have yet to discover. Until a month or two ago I was trusted by a grand total of 7, so I would warn you to take my advice with a large pinch of salt.
If I discover an amazing epiniac, I trust them. It’s as simple as that. It’s nothing to do with whether they’ll trust me back (because more than likely they won’t); but whether they meet the criteria. They have to write excellent reviews, have a bit of personality, and hopefully agree with me on a few issues too.
That’s not to say I trust every person with a mind of their own. You have to be quite selective. Several times, I’ve felt that warm glow you get when someone new trusts you, and have eagerly clicked on their name. My warm glow cools a little when I find they also trust everyone from the Top Reviewer in Tools to the people who joined in ’99 and haven’t written anything since. Who wants to be the 2783rd on someone’s WOT? It’s like going out with someone who tells every girl he meets he loves her.
7) Thou shalt not smash in thine computer if thou hast very little credit
Let’s face it, we’re not in it for the money. This is not because we’re unworldly martyrs, but because there’s no point in being in it for the money. If I was so desperate for dosh, I would wash cars or baby-sit or go round doing good deeds for the neighbours. I certainly wouldn’t make a living on Epinions. In my four months of membership, I’ve earned barely over $7. Now, if I had spent the time I kill here doing a paper round, then I would have been raking in the cash by now.
I know there are some of you whose balance runs into the thousands. This is amazing and admirable, but when put beside what you earn at work it’s not an awful lot. Besides, the dedication you put into it is rewarded in other ways – for example, by having a following the size of the official N-Sync fan-club.
Having said that, I’m only 15 and therefore jobless, so any money I make here is gain. I think, when I redeem my balance (if I ever reach that far-off day of having $100) I’ll give it to charity anyway. It would seem sacrilegious to spend my hard-earned cash on cappuccinos and magazines.
8) Thou shalt take it for what it is...
Epinions is a website, not a career, but we’re all hooked! It’s almost like a drug – people rating/trusting you puts you on a natural high. If you’re anything like me, you’ll find that if you don’t write for a bit, you feel as though you’ve betrayed the community.
But we shouldn’t put pressure on ourselves, because at the end of the day it’s a recreational thing. And the day Epinions becomes a duty to me I’m outta here.
9) Thou shalt be YOU!
What I don’t like is when people are afraid to be themselves. You know the scenario – they hate Britney Spears, and are about to let off steam about her latest ‘album’, when they find that everyone else has rated it 5 star. They therefore also rate it 5 star, and write an unconvincing review about her assets (not the obvious two). Reviews like this always sound a bit wooden and I think people can tell when you’ve written one.
Even if your opinion is controversial, don’t be afraid to write it down. You never know, someone might agree with you, and at the very worst, they’ll respect you for standing up for yourself. However, this does not apply to the reaction writers I’ve already mentioned, because quite frankly they should be locked up.
Developing a personality here is important. I found that when I put a picture on my public profile, my hits dramatically increased. At the moment, I’m working on my html code as well (blasted thing) because to really make an impact you’ve gotta stand out.
10) Thou shalt... erm...
OK, so I’m just about out of ideas for the tenth commandment. Well, for want of something better, I’ll just say, keep smiling. Never lose the ability to laugh at yourself.
I wonder if Epinions would work better if they made us take a pledge beforehand? You know, a sort of Girl Guide type promise: “I will do my best to write my best and rate my best and to learn the 3Rs of Epinions...”
Oh well, we’re never going to stamp out petty crime. Not even here on Epinions. However, I reckon if we all obeyed the 10 commandments our balance would be through the roof in no time.
Thanks for reading!
Abi :-)
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Epinions.com ID:
smile2k1
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Location: Darlington, England
Reviews written: 36
Trusted by: 30 members
About Me:
This site's not what it used to be
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