If You Can't F*ck it, KILL IT
Jul 29 '02
The Bottom Line Eat the deer or leave it alone. These are your only options.
Now, I am not a health food nut. I don't munch on leafy green vegetables, on the contrary I am a self described carnivore. So no "Are you a vegan?" questions at the end. I'm not an animal rights/PETA nut, I'm just a fan of simple logic and when I see logic bent into more contortions than a Russian gymnast I have to raise my hand and say "Excuse me, pardon me but... You're f*cking nuts!"
Let me crowbar in a little space of difference. If you hunt and kill an animal to eat it's flesh as an alternative to eating the hormone riddled Franken-food that exists in mainstream grocery stores today or you're poor and you need to eat, you're cool with me. The carnivore is with you.
IF HOWEVER, you kill an animal simply because, "It looks PERDY!" You're psychotic!
There is a very old and primitive instinct that exists within man it's called survival. We survive in different ways. We eat to maintain our bodies, and remain alive in the present sense. We engage in intercourse to remain alive in future sense (our DNA lives on).
When a primitive man saw a female figure in the not too far distance he asked himself two questions:
1. Can I screw it?
2. Can I eat it? i.e. kill it
Now hopefully, if the primitive man wasn't insane, he'd stop at the first question and go on and procreate. Now if he saw a deer he'd realize, "Ooooh, pretty....Hey, I can't screw a deer! I'll eat it!". TWANG! Dead deer, everybody eats! We get to live!
Now let's fast forward to modern times where we have hunting for sport. Hunting for sport to me just sounds like bored people who aren't rich enough to take up cocaine, but make enough money to buy rifles and striking orange vests and go play R rated Elmer Fudds out in the woods.
Now the classic excuse/reason for this is supposedly that these creatures are so beautiful that they must end their life in order for them to admire their mutilated visage over their fireplace/livingroom. (scratching head) You know the last person who had that kind of thought process was in a Steinbeck novel.
It's these people who suffer from twisted version of the early primitive man survival list. They see something pretty, but realize it's not for screwing, and yet they still want it in some indescribable way, so they kill it and keep it with them, in their home. This is sort of akin to the stalker who goes around following a beautiful but unattainable woman and then finally snaps and blows her head off and keeps the remains in his basement so he can be "close to her".
See that's what's worries me, how can I tell when the hunting switch is off and the psychotic switch is on? What's the distance between the two?
Then there's that argument that if it wasn't for their skewed logic, the animal population would run rampant and civilization as we know it would collapse into nothing.
That's right, legions of despotic deer and bears standing over the decayed remains of New York City going "Ah ha ha ha! Foolish humans! Had they continued hunting us we would have never taken over the world! Come let us badger some squirrels. Ha ha ha"
Listen pal, mankind has been around for maybe about 200,000 years. The earth, and therefore nature, has been around for 4 billion. And during this time nature eradicated an entire species of creatures known as the dinosaurs. You know, the big animals you can't hunt cause they're already DEAD. In fact nature is so powerful it even tends to keep us pesky humans in line too. You think floods, tornadoes, hurricanes and earthquakes merely exist to screw around with our commute? No, that's nature reminding you "I'm still in charge here."
See mankind tends to forget it's place in the scheme of things. It tends to view nature as something it lives outside of, as if man is the the spectator and nature is a game of chess. WRONG! Nature is the chess board and mankind is the King. And we all know what sh*tty moves the King has.
So saying that without man, nature would run amok is preposterous. It's called a food chain people, look it up. We're not the only ones on it, and we we don't necessarily need to purposely go out and kill some animals. No, we can just go driving one day and WHOOPS! Killed Bambi's mom, what a shame.
And if you don't want animals in your backyards, stop building your houses on their front yards! Overpopulation is merely a modern way of saying we've moved too far into the animals' territory and now they want to swim in our pools. If we're so worried about animals coming into our neighborhoods, how come I've never heard of Raccoon hunting season? Because I hear it's really annoying when they go into your garbage cans at night.
And by the way, it's not the animals who are overpopulated. Hint, Hint.
Now for the person who will write to me and say that I have never been around an animal that wasn't behind some bars in a zoo, let me flash you my credentials. Before the age of ten I made two trips to the Dominican Republic to visit family members who lived out in the sticks. That means no running water, yes, I shat in a primitive toilet and I bathed in an iron tub. No electricity. So we had to act out episodes of the Honeymooners and went to bed when the sun went down cause we couldn’t see or do anything. But most importantly there were animals around. And they weren’t around cause they were pretty. No, no. They were around to be eaten. There were pigs and chickens and goats and donkeys, but we didn’t eat the donkeys, unless they gave us attitude.
I can clearly recall my brother and I sitting in the livingroom petting a live chicken. My brother and I had both grown up in the city, so we suffered from that disease where any sort of living creature that had more legs and fur than we did was looked at in the same fashion you and I would look at a unicorn. Anyway, we’re petting this chicken for a good half hour. Then a little while later the chicken, DISAPPEARED, that is until I went to the kitchen and there was one of my various older relatives holding that same chicken by the legs and plucking away at it’s feathers. Oh, and by the way, IT WAS DEAD! And I had no problem with this, because it was food, the only food around mind you. It was not killed for vain, selfish reasons. It was killed to give sustenance to us that evening. They didn’t kill it and then dress it up in a frock and hang it over the mantle to admire it with the family.
These people were not rich, they lived a practical farm life and everything in their home existed for practical reasons. Killing for food is practical. Killing for the sake of aesthetics is not practical. Killing because of beauty is not practical, in fact it’s damn near bourgeois and spoiled and seems to me like the mental building blocks of a serial killer. If you think the deer is pretty, take a picture. If you’re hungry, shoot it.
So, take it easy Lenny and go head on over to the zoo and admire the animals.
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Member: S C
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