A fine collection of awful film making
Dec 01 '02
The Bottom Line Watch these films. No, seriously.
It can be said that there weren't many memorable films in the 90s and in fact, it could be said that there were probably more flops than successes throughout the last decade. However, I never thought that I would ever write a review on films that I totally despise, but having read Simply_Crispy's review on the worst films of the 90s, I'd thought I'd give it a shot. So in no particular order, here is a list of some of the worst films of the flop-filled 90s.
1.Street Fighter (1994)
What an insult to one of the coolest video games ever! Why, oh why did they choose Jean Claude Van Damme to be Guile (who is American)? And why does the Australian Kylie Minogue play the British girl Cammy? Why is Blanka a wuss? And why does Dhalsim also look like a weakling? And since when was Balrog a good guy? The film runs into all sorts of problems such as a lack of decent fighting scenes, plot irregularities and a lack of direction. It is obvious that the director and writer, Steven De Souza, had no clue what he was doing with this film and if I had the chance, I would beat him senselessly for insulting this great game.
2. Titanic (1997)
This has been said a million times before, but this film is definitely the most overrated film of the 90s and perhaps of all-time. Sure, the technical aspects of the film were brilliant and there is no denying that. But what can be said about the soppy love story and the acting from the films 2 leads (Kate Winslet and Leonardo Di Caprio)? Absolutely dreadful! As for the script? PATHETIC! To this day, I still wonder why this film won 11 Oscars.
3. Loveblind (1999)
What a stupid porno flick! I watched this expecting to see something enjoyable. However, this film's characters are so shallow that these characters solve an argument by having sex with each other. What pointless tripe! Oh, the chicks (played by Kim Yates and Catalina Larranga) are not even that good looking.
4. Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow (1994)
And you thought 6 was enough. Well, the entire crew of the Police Academy series did not think so and this leads to the 7th installment of Police Academy. Regurgitated gags, stupid plot, extremely dumb characters. What else do you need? 15 more of these films? The writers and actors of this film would think so.
5. Judge Dredd (1995)
If I ever hear Sylvester Stallone say "I am the law" again, I swear I'll get a gun and shoot him. God knows how many times the film used this one line in this film. The diabolical script is followed by poor, poor acting from all the cast in the film. What an insult to a cool comic book character.
6. Bean (1997)
If you've read my review of this film, you'll know why I dislike the film so much. If you have seen the original Mr. Bean series, then you'll know why this film blows. This film regurgitates every gag that Mr. Bean (or Rowan Atkinson, if you prefer) has done and compresses this into a one and a half hour film. It surprises me that the writers of the film (and the original writers of the series) could get away by doing this to fans of Mr. Bean.
7. Casper: A Spirited Beginning (1997)
This film shows why Steve Guttenberg is such a pathetic actor. "HA! My aunt Sally!" My brothers, who rarely say anything negative about films, were even laughing at Guttenberg's acting. And as for Casper, I'm tired of seeing that puny ghost and his loner friends. This film is Casper trying to find another friend. You'd think that by now, Casper would have had a lot of friends considering all the friends he picks up from the cartoons. That does not seem to be the case and this shows the lack of logic behind both the Casper cartoons and this movie.
8. The Specialist (1994)
This film sucks. Period. The special effects used when the hotel room falls apart are SO bad, all I could do was laugh at it instead of be thrilled by the plot. And yes, we have Sly Stallone acting as that loner hero who is weakened by a hot girl (played by Sharon Stone). Haven't people had enough of him regurgitating the same roles over and over again? Apparently not.
9. Big Daddy (1999)
Oh, whoopee-doo. It's Adam Sandler trying to be funny. This film has him attempting to be like Ted Kramer from Kramer Vs. Kramer. Unlike Kramer who was a hardworking, moral father, we have here a loser of a man taking care of a kid. Oh, and this film has one of Sandler's famous long-winded, deep thinking and moral speeches that leave all the characters of the film in awe. And there are people who never get tired of these stupid Sandler films.
10. The Big Swap (1998)
I came across this film by accident. Claiming that it was done in the style of Sex, Lies and Videotapes, I thought it would be somewhat decent. Nah, it ain't. This is one big f*ck-fest that consists of 5 couples screwing each other's partners and ends in an melodramatic argument that causes everyone to break down. Who cares?! To turn people off even more, the sex scenes aren't even that good.
Whew, I think I have let off enough steam. My advice to you is to not watch these films and stay clear from them, unless you want to see how poor these films really are.
Thanks for reading the review.
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Member: Chris Ying
Location: Sydney, Australia
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