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~~My Three dads~~ Manly Man W/O

Jun 16 '03

The Bottom Line Manly Man W/O...congrats! Happy Father's Day!

Some of us are fortunate to have a strong and powerful man in our lives to give us good orderly direction, unconditional love and unending emotional support. I am blessed to have had three such men, all of whom I fondly refer to as Dad.

For Father’s Day and in celebration of the anniversaries of JOUBERT and HAWGWYLD I dedicate this editorial to all men who represent fatherhood.

My biological father was a mighty man who loved his five children. Although my dad sometimes seemed the cruel dictator, I will always remember him with enormous respect. He stood a statuesque six foot 2 inches and had a full beard that accentuated his handsome face.

Although my father was a first class act and a super dad, he was tormented by his memories of war. The demons that hounded my dear father with unrelenting fury changed the wonderful man that I knew and loved as a young girl, into a ranting, raving, angry falling-down alcoholic, who was no longer able to fight the horrific memories of death and destruction that he witnessed in the war.

As an adult, I realize that my father was indeed a great and magnificent father. His alcoholism was not his fault and does not diminish the respect that I have when I recall his memory. Alcoholism is a dreadful illness that does great damage to the alcoholic who suffers as well as to the family.

Yet, when I ponder the meaning of the word father, the words responsibility, protector, and originator come to mind. My dad was all of these things and so much more. Daddy was the one who helped me with my calculus homework and diligently practiced Spanish verb conjugation with me. He wiped away my tears when my first date ended badly and dad taught me chef-style cooking....

Daddy was my hero who left me when I was almost nineteen years old. Dad left me too soon....

But, shortly after my father's untimely and traumatic death, I met a very spiritual and loving humanitarian who would be my fatherly guide until the day that he died, some twenty years after our first meeting.

I lovingly refer to dad number two as, "Deke". A Baptist deacon in his community church, and a pillar of strength and morality in many neighboring communities, Deke was also a huge part of my life. He was a source of strength to my mom, who became a widow at the age of forty-three. Deke ultimately became one of my truest friends.

When my mom first met Deke, I was so happy for her. But, like many "children" who lose a parent either to divorce or death, I did not want any other man to replace my father. I rebelled, initially, until I got to know Deke. As I write this, I am full of fond memories of him and all of the blessings that he helped me to see.

Deke firmly believed that God has a plan for all of us. That even in adversity, there is a greater plan that we may not know or understand at the time. The adversities are always opportunities for character building and strengthening of one's faith. He was absolutely right!.

I attribute much of my faith to the deep spirituality of my dear second father, Deke. When Deke passed on to Glory a few years ago, my family and all those young people whose lives he touched in some way, felt an immense loss.

So, knowing that there is a higher power working in my life, I believed that the absence of a father-figure would be short-lived. When I met and fell in love with my third husband, I also met his dad. My father-in-law is the greatest father-in-law a girl could ever want! Thus, Abe is my third dad.

What I love most about my father-in-law is his wicked, rapid fire sharp sense of humor! He has a quick tongue and a witty tone to every conversation. Sometimes, he may not speak during an entire conversation, but when he does say something, I am guaranteed a chuckle or two. I think that the secret to my dad-in-law's longevity is laughter and not taking life too seriously.

For an octogenarian, Abe still shoots straight from the hip, with pearls of wisdom flowing freely from his lips. My husband is very fortunate to have Abe as his father and I can state the same! In fact, my husband is very much like his father, both of whom I truly respect and admire.

Abe married his second wife over 35 years ago, when she was a young widow with four children!! He had two. Then, when he was in his early fifties, they became parents to a fifth child. Go dad!

My husband met and married me when I had three young children. Thankfully, we still have three.

I love my three dads and I pay the highest homage to them. Fatherhood comes in many forms. Many women can and have represented fatherhood. Taking on responsibility, being the protector and originating some structure, discipline and love. Some uncles are father-figures and of course god-fathers are father figures.

I congratulate Hawgwyld and Joubert on their anniversaries. I thank Char.mike for hosting the W/O page. And I thank God for my manly men!


Please check out the other participants in the Manly Man W/O by visiting

~~~http://www.angelfire.com/mb2/mypageontheweb/page9.html, brought to you by the niceness of Char.mike~~~.


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Mimi369

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