I’m so Drunk, whooooo! (W/O)
Oct 19 '03
The Bottom Line It wouldn't really be fair to write something here now, since I'm not drunk anymore, the review having been written two weeks ago. Other entries are on my profile page.
[8:00pm, 0] Okay, so here’s the plan. I’m going to write a little treatise on American foreign policy. While I do that, I am going to consume the entire contents of a six-pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Why, you may ask, would I do such a thing? Simple. Because I’m hosting the Crazy Drunken Write-Off, in honor of my own third anniversary at Epinions. Of course, if you know me, you know that I’m very organized. So look for bracketed indices, like the one at the beginning of this paragraph, to indicate what time it is and how many bottles I have drunk. I imagine I’ll start fast and then slow down. Hopefully, I won’t need my stomach pumped, nor will I collapse in a pool of my own vomit. I’m already drinking, so here goes!
Iraq
Well, Iarq is certainly the big one lately when it comes to foreign policy. It’s what everybody is talking about and we’re equating it to the quality of George W. Bush as a presient. Personally, I support the decision to go to war against Iraq. At the time, I did believe that Saddam was hoarding weapons of mass destruction (WMDs) [8:06pm, 1], but that’s not necessarily why I supported the war. When the UN said that Saddam was in “material breach” of the conditions imposed on him after the Guld War, I was actually sort of glad, because it provided an excuse for us to go after Saddam. I didn’t think the reason we had to take him out was necessarily because he had the WMDs, but because he was dangerous to us in general. For example, wasn’t he offering money to Palestinians who would use themselves in suicide bombings? To their families, I mean. So I’m sure that’s not the onyly terroristm he was supporting.
Now it’s becoming readily apparent that Saddam may not have had any WMDs afer all and everyboy just seems to equate the finding of WMDs in Iraq with the justification for going to war against Saddam. George Bush has now said that the war was justified even without any WMDs. Let me go find what he said. Oh, okay, shoot it’s kind of lame. I guess they found a vial of botulinum in some Iraqi scientist’s refrigerator at home, and they say it’s a weapon. So what Bush is saying is that, “No, see, he really did have WMDs! Lookit!” I thought he was going to say why it was okay to go to war against Saddam even if Saddam never had any WMDs. Becaue it was.
The whole WMD thing was an even gibber problem in Britiain, where I guess some guy killed himself. The British are great, though. I’ve been there, and you know I’ve already written two reviews about it. It’s a great place. And they were right there supporting us after 9/11 and in George W. Bush’s State of the Unioin address in 2002, he said, “The United States has no greater friend that Britain.” And I agree, Britian and Tony Blair, they’re cool. [8:19pm, 2]
I think epole forget that Saddam Hussein tried to have George Bush killed. I mean, a strandup comedient said that, I forget who, but it’s true, right. And if someone tries to kill your father, and then you become President and have this big army, you’re going to want to go after him, right? And I think that’s cool, and totally normal. Saddam Hussein and his sons are terrible, awful epole, and I’m glad we killed and ousted them, respecitvely but in reverse.
Afghanistan
Afghanistam was very different from Iraq. We ewent to war against Afghanistan only a very few months afatr 9/11. An insanely huge percentatge of the American people supported a war at tht time. The funy thing was I saw a poll and it said something like 75% of the peple say we should go to war now because of 9/11. But a much smaller percentage, like 40%, actually knew who they thought we should go t war against. That’s why people are stupid, don’t you think?
But the evidence for a justification to go to war against Afghanistan wa soverwhelming. The Taliban had for years been a target of many activists. They were horrifyingly olppprestive to women and men were forced to obey the strictest interpretation of Islamic law imagineable. Even Iran denounced them. Iran! And the biggest thing was, they were fianancing and hroboring Osama bin Laden. They enabled him to carry out his anti-American plots and his fatwa. I think there are very few, even now, who would say that our actions in Afganisitan were unjustified.
Iraq
I forgot to say something. Normally I’d just have gone back up and corrected it, but by my own rules in the write-off, I can’t. But it’s about the UN and stuff. I say, why do we need anybody else’s approval to take actions against Iraq? We are an indeependant nation, with our own miliatry, our own laws, our own people, and if we decdie to go to war we have the right. Yeah.
North Korea
So what’s up with that? This Kim Jung Il guy is completely insane, right? I heard that somebody maede a prophecy that a set of triplets would defeat him, so now all triplets in North Korea are taken at birth and put into these crazy science lab orphanages so they can’t hurt him. [8:31pm, 3] Has this guy never read a book or seen a movie. We all know that it’s always doing something like that that guarantees that the prophecy will come to pass. Look at Moses, Jesus, Oedipus, Perseus. It’s trying to avoid the prophecy that enables it. What a dumbass.
Now North Korea announced that they’re processing plutonium. Or radium, polonium, whatever, radioactive materail, right. And they’ve been blustering for a while, and then the USA tried to have talks with them, and with Japan andother countries that are out there in eastern Asia. But then North Korea left that table and said they were done talking. Clearly, North Koera is a much bigger threat than Afghanistan or Iraq. So, then, why don’t we go after them? Well, because they might have nukes. It just goes to shw you that preemptvive strikes are totally the way to go. It’s like what Israel did that time with, um, Iran or Iraq or somebody. Id on’t remember who, though.
Isreal
Man, that’s a mess, isnt it? The problem goes back so far, to when the Jews left land in the Diasopra, and Palestinians became the dominant population. Did you know that there are actually Jewish Palestinians? Ther are, ti’s true. Then after the second world war, the British were holding the land and they prmosed it to both the Jews and the Palestinians. And, there you go. The rights of probprety and land were blurred and it becaesme so hard to determine who has the right to the land and who can build there and whatnot. And the USA basically spport Isreale because they ahve supported us in the bast as ell.
I’m Jewsish so I’m supposted to support isreal unconditionally and agree with aevery thing they say and do. I even know a lot of is reaeles, bcasue like I had teachers at Heverw School who were Irsreale like Geveret Evan, Geverett Becker (Geveret is Hebrew for Mrs.), and Margalit who died unfortunately of lung cancre even though she didn’t smoke but I think her husband di. But I really take issue with a lot of Isreal’s actions over the years. In particlar, the constant building of new setlement’s in Palestinian land. Palestianinas live there, and it’s wrong to appropriate thier land. I already aoppose the idea of eminitntn domain hehn it comes to building highways and whatnot, so I’m certainly no going to suport kicking someon eof tth eir land just to give it to someboyd else. [8:43pm, 4]
(And, it’s funny, I started singing Coldplay’s, “The Scientist” out loud justnow. Hah!)
That said, though, I also strenuously oppose the actions fo Palestisina terrorists. Peeple ahav e said, “Oh, but look at twhat the Ireaserlalui government , oh my god nobody can read that. Isreaeli government is doing to the Palestinian peolpe! They can’t travel freeely, and they homes get drestrloyed.” Okay, but no. It’s like, I say there aret five kinds of attacks that can happen to a country or within one. 1) The government of one country can attack the government of another country. That’s warfare. 2) The governentn of one coutnry can attack the civilians of another country. Those are attrocioities. 3) Civilians can attack the governmnetn of theplace where they live. Tha’ts revolution. 4) A governmetn can attack civilians within their doman. That’s oppresion. 5) Civilians can attack civilians in their own country or another country. That’s terrorism.
So, yes, the Isrealie covernment may very well be guildty of some oppresion. But that still doesn’t justify Palestinian terrorision, even though it might be a good basis for revoluion. So if Palestinians were only attaciing military targets, I wouldn’t really have all that much bad to say about them, because I do agree that the Isrealie government treats tem like shit. It’s their attackac against civilians that leave me with no sympathy for their cause.
So, what’s the solution? I see two possibilites. Isreal coudl cede land to the Palestianis and ive them a trly automnonous state otustie of ISreal whre they woudl be an independatn nation no longer subjmect to Isreal at all. Or, Isrel needs to ipose a reconstruction on them, like the North did to the Soth withing in the USA after the Civil War. Completely suppress their racial hatred of the Isrealeis, control every aspect of society and educton for agneration and see ow it works. The USA did the same thing in Japan afte rWW2 aswell, under the controool of Douglas McArthrr, who Id dia report on in elenentrayr school for my GTE class (Gifted and Telented Enrichment, because I’m very very smart you know.). So, that’s the coichei, complete autonomy, or complte domination. Nothing in between will work.
France
Well, we sure fucked that one up, didn’t we. What’s with us, seriously. Okay, sure France sucked when they faile dto spupport us. And wha’t s there deal a nyway, beacsue I’m not sure. Why were they suo upposed to going to war agianst Iraq? The French have little backbone, and a majorly serious inferiority comlex. But, at the smae time, I don’t want ot hate the French. I speak French. En fait, je pense que je vais ecrire le reste de ca en francais. Personne ne jamise comprenedrera cela, parce-que il y a plusieres erreurs, et il ne marce pas dans le “babelfish.” Mais, apres je poste cela je promets de mettre dans le section des suggestions, un traduction. [9:00pm, 5]
By the way, I mreant o mention. I’m writing this on Ocober 4, which is prtty far in advcance on te posting date, but I was so eager I just couldnt wait. Okay, gotta pee now. Hah! I was singinte the Scientist again when I got up, but I kept singing “Id ont’ know the wors” in tune with the song and tha’ts funny. And I’ve nver intentialonlly gotten drounk alone before, so that’s fun, too, only a little sad, too.
It would be dumb to write the rest of this in French, even though in French I said I would. But you can’t hold me to that, I won’t let you. Argh!
What was that whole deal with Freedom Fries? At the time, I thought it was cool, but now I think it’s kind of lame. French was opposing us on the global political scene, and I don’ teven know why. Really, whey where ther doing it? So even though I speak French, I’m a bigger Anglophile, and I’m Italian, so my first loyalty isn’t with the French. And when they wre pissing us off, and we started to callethe French Fires Freedome Fires, and Freedom Toast and othe freemdom dstuss like kissing was joke, I was all for t becaecut I realy thougth the French sucked then.
But, in retrospect, it was realy lame, ou hve to admit. Why should we chang ethe name of stuff because w’re having a little tiff with tocunty in’ts named after. I mean, French Fries were really invented in Belgium anyway, you know? The last time we did that was Victory Cabbage for Saurkraut and hot dogs for Frankfurters, and we wer fricing at war with the country. And now we’ll dot he same to France becasue we dont’ totally agree witht them about something? Overreact much? There was even a petiion on petion.com or whatever, that was about returnin gthe stature o f lIbertyl to France. And that’s really really really stupid, okay. Dont be so lame, jackass.
Liberia
Okay, this one is werid. I guess, Liebrris was founded by freed American slaves in the Nineteenth Cetnry, and they’re even the ounly cuntry coutsie of e the USA that uses the real American dollar as thier currency, ti’s the exact sam eand competly tied to urs it’s the smae currency entirely. Taht’s why other ocuntries saiy taht we have a special duty to Liberia, becasue were were like their template to form.
Okay, wait I saying this out loud because I’m drunk, but I ttally sang a bucnh of the “Scientist,” only not really but to the tune, and her’e s what I sang: “I don’t know the words/ Don’t the words/ Hey, it’s song/ I don’t know thwords/ I love Colpay.” Only that’s not really what I sang, it’s what I sang the second time, and I dont think it was funny. But there it is and I’m not alloowed to dlete it ever.
So, I guess Liberial descended into civil war and some kind of coup. And this guy, who has a totally normal Amrican-souding name, Charlles Taylr, right? Andhe’s a bad man, like Papu would say of Jerry. And now the news keeps talking about how Liberia was decimated by the war and left inm riuns and that sucks I thin you knw. I dont’w know really waht happened I have to adimt. But there was war and guerillas and paecekekeeping or whatever but i’s kind of lame. An tdtthen the USA soldiers left ant tdthe Liberiana peple were all, like, ‘Zuh? And I totally get that. Because here’s a people that acutally wanted the USA ther, they appealed for help and welcome thed them with open arms. And what happens? THe UASA send a token, tiny little forec, dbarely does anything and then lveave praceically without notice of any kind. THat’s lame, it sucks, and I don’t get it. [9:21pm, 6]
Ouch! I got up to tgo tho the bathroom and I toally ttstabed the back of my left heel with the big toe of my right foot. And I must really hurt, becasue I’m this drunk but it still hurts a lout. ouch! Ouch!
Mexico
Mexico is teh suck, aight? It’s liek all these Mexican want to come into the USA, right? And , you knowk I support ath. I believe in a more uopen oimjmigatration poliicy, okay? If Mexican’s want jobs and ware willing to accept less pay, more pwoer to them. I don’t belive in the miniumu wavge. I make so much more than that, anyway, that’ it’s not even funy :) Okay, but here’s the thing. All these Mexian’s come over the bordrr though the Rio grande like the 8.5 motnh pregnant women who want ot have the thir babies in the USA, and tey all come across and right now it’s ileggal. And evn ehtou ght eh Law might be wwrong you have to aoobely it i mean Obey it for nwo, right/? but they dont’ get that and theyire lame! And now, some of them die. Becase ist’s hot and it’s a desert and they die, you knwo? And I’m cool with tat. If youre lame enought to disoby eour lawas even though they’rs kind of wrong, well, you suck. And htere are activists cgroups that are ll about, hey, you should put water station near the border to hl=eplp them. Hey, heopl them to break that law, that’s lame man, what’ up with o=youo, you suck! Anyody that says that is tstupid, like, really stpupd. Okay, I hope their’s no Mexican that rea dthis, like Garret, but Serilsyl, man, Mexians shoud die if they’re that stupd. It reminds me of thsi Far Sid ed comisc I read. There was a man, and aboy, his son, ant they’re lookin gat hte house next door. There’s these wolves in there, all over. And the man says, “O=h, Tommy, I know you’ll miss the Johsnsons. But thery were weak ans tupid people, and that’s wy we have owvles ad other large predators.” That’s funny! And that’s waht shoud mhapend to the Mexians. They suck.
Liberiaa
I forgto something agina. It’s finny about Libria, because they ahve differnet jnames for their scities. Like, some ciites are naemd Monrovia or Marshall, or Robertsport, Greenville, Harper, Buchanan. Pretty normal , soucns like Engoissh or Americasn.s Cool. Butl then, there’s these othes. Tameque, Kakata, Finutoli, Gobota, Waung, Takpoima, Zwedru, Gbarnga, Belefuanai, Kwendin, Tappita. And they all sound like jungle people, what up? I know why, though. The USA soudnign sciites were founded after Liberai existed as a governemtn of freed US slaves. But the other wons that I can’t rpouncounce, that’s because those cities already existed from the native populations an dthey thame names are African languates of the tribes from there. And it remdins me of Chlump Chapchuck. See, my mother works for the Livingston Department of Recreation and Parks. And they run a summer camp. And my mohter knows the naems of almost everybody in town that live ther now or eve rhas before. So, there was this faimly, the Chapchucks, only I dont kjwow if I got the spelling right. Andtheir older son was named Chlump, I swear it! We’d joke about tit becasue it was so funny. Like, we’d make up a verse of “Swingin on a Star,” nad it wold be lieke, “Or wouldyo uratr thter be a Chlyump? A Chlump is a person, who somehting, sometihg,” and so on. Now, the thing was, Chlump has a younger brother named Patrick. And we’d all joke, like, did the paretns hate thier first baby to give him a name lik Chlump? But, no, not really, I mean, we could see, it was like, they have Chlump in the foreign country, Foreigngia, or Vietnam, wherever, and give him a name that for them at that time i s totally nomramk, Chlump. Okay kfine. SO then they come to the USA. And they have another baby. And now they’re American’s, tsot they give the baby a name that now; tot htem is normal, like Patrick a good Amrica n name, cool. But it’s still funny.
I wnt to ppee agian, and I an barlye stand on my feet. Yay! I finishe dall the alchohol I hage, I but I’l still keep gettin drunker, bfeacuse that’s how the boyd works, you know. The alcoholi is in you robyd, but not mtetablilize,d and thatn youre body picks up on it, workins it in, gets you drunk, then dumps it over time until your’e not drunk anymore, just embarased.
Speaking of embarassed, well, I didn an Internet search on “Chlump.” And, of all things, it turns out he went to Northwestern University! That’s funny, because my sister wants to go there now. And I got his last name wrong, it’s Chatkupt, and he’s Thai, not Vietnamese. But, wow, that’s so funny! But, then, I called my mom. And, you know, you should never drunk dial. Never. Like CT on Real world, no never do it. And w etalke d bit, she admitted it was mildly amusing. THen she siad, “I’d think you’re drnk or somthing.” And I scofeed. But I think she knwe. Mom’s smart. Only, she didn’t know I was gay, did she? She has the great gayday she says, but she was all taken abakc when I told her in 1998, hah!
So, Liberia is like the Chapchucks.
Albania
Not mcuh ever happened with Ablaina, reaelly, but it’s what Wag The Dog was about, using a war in Albiania, a fake war, to distract the people from a scandal with like a girl scout or somehting. But I love girl scout cookies, yum! I boutht wenty from the daughert of a coworker, fifteen boxes of Somoas and five of thin mninds. Yum! And righ around that time was then when thing sblew up in Croation I think or somewhere tlike that. But that makes me thin of Croaton, the word carved int ao tree at Roanoke, mysteries like that are coo.
Whoah, I did an internet search on Coratonj, now, and I downloaded the Acrobat japanese fond, bu t I never do tthat, nramally, so let’s ope it doesn’t huck up my complter or soemthting! And it looks like it’s really “Croatan,” not “Croaton,” Steven King got it wrong, mofo!
Canada
Blame Canda! No, wait, don’t. Canda’s cool. Iv’e never been to cCanana, but iI’ve come close twice. I’ve beetn to Detroite twice, one time for my cousin’s Bar Mitzvah, his father id Done Shane the sprotscaster if any of you know who he is, and the other time fot he nationational convention fo Tau Beta Pi, teh engineering honor societyry, And bothh cimes, people were all like, hey, lets’ go to Canda. For the bar mitzvah, it just never fgit inot the schedule. At ehc convetinoin, it was post-911 and the problem was that evidently we’d have no problem getting into canda wihere ther age for drinking nad gampling was 19, great for us 20 year olds at the time, bruth rather because it mihg tbe hard to gt back into the USA iwithout our passports tha tmost of us didn’t have. Ah, well.
So, I guess USA is trying to crak down on dnagerous people coming tinto the USA whcih toally makes sense. But Candadians are exempt from the stricter reguations being imposed. And I[‘m fin ewith tthat it makes snee. I’ll say again. Canda’s cool, even if they did kill the Baldwins.
Uzbekisan
THe USA didn’t do anyitng in Uzbekisan tha I know of. Why did I put it here? Because ‘tis’ speled funny, it’s funhny word, it’s funny, yay!
Russia
The funniest thing ever in Russia was when Saturday Night lIve (I’m taping the seaon premir tonight ein case I’m too drunkt o watch it.) had Phil Hartman (He’s daed, sad.) as Bill Clinton—Ow, I stupdbed by toe on the way to the bathroom and it hurt a lot but i htought studff doesn’t hurt when you’re drunk liek one tme I was drukn and ran down a flightl of stairs and got bsplinters in my hand and didnbt’ know until I looked at my hadn it was bleed in a little ow—and he offered Boris Yeltsin a relief package (Hey, wow, why I=is Yeltsin a word in MS Word and it’s okay in te spell shceker funhy!) if he can sleep with his wfei, and it was liek a paradoy of Indecent Proposeal, yay!
And what up with Chechnia, I have no idea at all.
Chiana
I thin China is the worst place in the world wher enaybody could ever be forever, in the whole world, the worst place ever it’s so terrible. THey shoot plole, nd oppress them like the Flaumn GOng wihch i si weired but ehry have a right ot be wird, which I learned at MCU everyboy has a right o ber weird. I mean, at CMU (Carngie Mellon University) aevery everyboey I mean has a right to we bwering. Weird! I mean weird, we have a right. So the Falun Gon g has their right to eber weird, and screw tha Chinese for eporessing them, they are teh suc, yo! Tohced by an Angel did an episoe about China, too, where a woman took them to China and her husband was ther eother something, and a he got gkileld killed I mean hter, ther, there, and Monica tried to proetect her as an Angel but couldn’tn, t and it was terrible all about China how much it is the most horrible placeon eartth. Once, Wheel of Forutune has a trip to China on the wweehheel, and I’m all, Whoach, that’ sucks! Who’d ever want to go toh CHina, the most terrible place on the eath ever in hjmanity , how horrible, you have to e crazy if you want ot bago go back to China, what’s wrong with ou, man?
Therw as this couple that lived near me in New Jersey, the Chas, Rebecca and Emmanuel, and I tutored their son and their niec ndnd nephews as well, their son in math and sceince, their nie ce and nepwhes in the English language. Let me say, trluly wonerdrul peloeple. Very religious cyhristians, and I’m Jewish, but hey respected and undertood the ppostionin of HJews in history, this history of their own people nad ttheh world, an it was fine. I had lovely converstionwith Rebecca in aprticluary, particular, and shes’s jst gerat, and they ahve three sons, wonderful little boys so polite and inquisiste, Justin, their son, I thin k is brillian. Very bright boy, I thin wil go far. The nice, Irene, bery nice girl as well, her brothe Richard al itel hyperactve but a oogd boy, their cousin Bosco had a funny name, but he was a funny boy. Good kids, great really, you can see that not only were Rebecaa and Emmanual good paretns, but Rebecca’s parents were great, since Irene, Richard, and Bosco were her nieces and nepherws, no Emmanueals, but I’d imagine Emmanuels’s were oogdd, too. The really neat thing is Rebecca was Taiwanese and Emmanuel was Korean, not a common mix becasue of reacial animosity between the two, but the y rose abovce it. Mayb ethere’s something to all this Chirsitanity stuff ater all. Myabe nott. Who knows?
Germany
So, I should hate Germay, right? I’m Jwish, and htere was Hitler, and he’ s a bad man, really, but he was Autstrin, you know, not German, srioulsy, how many peole know htat? I’m smatt. I mean, S-M-A-R-T. But Germany’s okay, and Helmut Kohl is a funny name. Her’es’ a funhy ruime, rhyme, that Ron Donnenfeld taught me back in High school: “Hitler, he only had one Ball/ Mussolini, had two but there wer small/ Himler, had something similar/ and Goebels ahd no balls at all!” It’s funny! It’ does gto the tune of that famous march. What’s it called? They whistle it in “THe Breakdast club,” but I dont’ knwo what i’ts’ called. I even played in in elementary school, yo, why can’t I remember?
But Germany’s A_OK in My boodk, and you know whye? I’ts because i’ts esexy. Sexy. When I hear German spoken, it’s totally, Scwhing! Schwing, serously, very hot-hoth-hot. I hear the language, and I’m so turned on. Myavbe it’s an autoriryt thing, or something, I dunno it’s just hot.
I’m still pretyt drunk. Relaly drunk, really, but I don’t kow what to writ eabout.l I need to get som enon-alcoholic beveraice now, to neot get dehydrated. Yeah, I have Twister fruit punch, good stuff, yay! Hve to pee agan.
I’m walking like a Weeble!
Mars
Yeah, it’s not a country, but maybe ti shoul dbe. And Eropa, too, Europa, the moon of Jupiter tat ist covered in ice but mabe has volcanic vents and liquied H2O, that’s coo, yo, really cool man iad what if there’ like gian Loch Ness Monsters on Europa, becaust the liee there, the life could bee lik thermanl vent communiites beneath the Pacifitc that we hav eon Earth, too. But, Mars, there’s the Canals, but they’re not really canals but what are they? Myavbe Mars hasd liquid water. Maybe Mars has bacteia. Maybe Europa has bacteria. It would be cool. And what if Euorpa has a race of super-sentient whales or something, or dolphins. Watch out for the dolphins. Did you read Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? The dolphins know what’s up.
I’m so drunk. I wihs a hogt gy, like EZ or caffeinatedyak was here to take prpoer advantage of me. and it’s 11:02pm, ninety minutes after I last drank and I’m still drunk becasue I weight so little llike 135-140 pounds and I’m 5 foot 5, I’m littel, but not wher it counts, get it. Myabe you don’t. Just in case: I have a huge cock.
Guyana
Isn’t taht where Jim Jones commiteed the big mass stupid suiciede? Jackass. What a jackass. Tha’ts sutpid, serves not point what amoron.
Ohio
Some peple say that Ohio is like a separate country with their rampant teen preganncy. And maybe they are.
Utah
Seroiusly. I’m a Libertarian, and I beleive in polygamy, so it’s cool. Mormons are kind of hypocrites, really. They always believed in polygamyk as sdoes biblcal juidiasm. Then Utah wanted to become a state, and suddenly God told the Mormons that they shouldn’t be polymgmaists anymore. OH, well, by –bye plymgamy.; Butn tonot really. Thy estilly have a lot of plymgamly, and it’s not offical by it still happens. There was even a story on Dateline this week
Someboyd just called or Charles. I’m no tCHarles. They had a wrong nubmer. I was afraid It was my mom, but itesawnasn’t her yay!
And the story oh Datelines was like a gyy had six wives an d32 kids that’s a lot fo kds, yo, and I’m sure I’ve seen stteh story about him a few years ago too, so I guess he’s a famous polygamoist which mkaes him a celveriy tin Utah, go him.
Just now, I gave my review it’s title. That ‘funy. Man, It’s been nearly two hours since I finished my last Mike’s. I’m still very drunk. If anything, gettig drunker becasue of that whole metaboolism thing. I’d not normally drink this much this fast, yo. You beleive me, right? Utah is a dry state.
I’m drininkgn water now, water beacust I don’t want o get dehydreated, and bcasue ifn case I’m so drunk I drip what I’m drinkning, ti’s just water and wont stain stuff, okay? And I have the hiccougsh.
~Fin~
So, I guess that’s about all. I can’t thin of anything else to write about, so I’m calling it qqyties. Qutis. Wq. Quits. Yeay, got it right. I’m stil really sdruink. But hopefully it all turns out all right. Tomorrow is the Fells Point Festival, and I’ma check it out, should be fun. I’m really druk, but hopefully already at the maximum point and now recovering. I’m going to wath chc Saturday Night Live seanon premiere and Jack Black is really funny and John Mayer is a hottie, I have the hiccoughs again. Hello Wisconsin! Good night, I lvoe you, too.
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Epinions.com ID:
DavidK93
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 - Top 1000 |
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Member: David Kaplan
Location: Baltimore, MD
Reviews written: 119
Trusted by: 179 members
About Me:
Passions has been canceled, again. But I think I'll get over it; I've gained perspective.
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