Things I want my children to know, Volume 1: Breaking the Homosexuality Myth
Feb 16 '05
The Bottom Line I'm just trying to raise my children the best way I know how.
I have now been divorced for almost a year. I share custody of my two children (my daughter is five and a half and my son is two and a half). Silly, misguided girl that I was, I naïvely thought that I had some time before I was going to have to start combating the skewed teachings of my ex-husband and his mother. I am a firm believer in not showing any negative emotions about the ex (or his family) in front of the children. Apparently though, that courtesy isn’t extended back my way. My daughter told me that Grandma thinks that I am going to hell for divorcing their dad (never mind the fact that the divorce papers clearly state he divorce me!). At that moment I realized I had to do whatever I could to show my children my own beliefs, at least enough that when they are old enough to make up their own minds, they will be better equipped to do so.
When I was married, we fought. A lot. About responsibilities, the color of the sky, everything. One of our most memorable arguments (to me at least) came when we were discussing what to tell our children about homosexuality. Good times. Good times.
Since I still don’t think it’s right to talk to my children badly about their father or his mother, I have started a journal, in which I am writing letters to my daughter with the rebuttals to their ridiculous claims. I have also begun doing major research and trying to show the other side to their closed minded, judgmental belief system. Maybe I’ll give her this journal one day. Maybe, hopefully, I won’t need to. I’ll jump off that bridge when I get to it.
So why post this particular discussion? I know this is a topic that people are firmly fastened on one side of the fence, but I guess the naïve girl inside me still wants to hope that just one person will take what is written here and say “Hey, she’s got a point”! Or someone else can take the research I’ve done and use it to make just one other person say “Hey, you’re right!”.
At any rate, here is my research/journal entry/letter to my children to give the other side of what I like to call the “Homosexuality Myth”. Because my ex husband and his mother are ultra conservative Christians and their condemnation comes from the Bible, the basis for my argument also comes from there…
Different Views of the Same Book
When using the Bible to make any argument, it helps to understand where the arguer stands on their view of the Bible. I think almost everyone will fall into one of these three groups:
1) Conservative Christians tend to believe that the Bible was authored by men directly inspired by God, and therefore tend to take each word as unbreakable law.
2) Liberal Christians tend to believe that the Bible was authored by men who were promoting their own beliefs at the time. They understand, and make concessions for the fact that it was written in a different time.
3) non-Christians at best believe the Bible is an entertaining piece of fiction.
”Because the Bible Says So” isn’t a good enough reason
I get most frustrated when I ask someone why they think homosexuality is a sin and they throw a passage from the Bible at me. I can quote them too. Without even looking them up. Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. Leviticus 18:22)
To these people, I usually have to remind them that there are two very good reasons that quoting the Bible to me isn’t gonna cut it.
1) The amount of times the Bible contradicts itself is amazing. Truly. I can give you ten examples before I take ten breaths. Because this is always a fun one, Alcohol is bad: He shall separate himself from wine and strong drink, and shall drink no vinegar of wine, or vinegar of strong drink, neither shall he drink any liquor of grapes, nor eat moist grapes, or dried. (Numbers 6:3). No, wait. Alcohol is good: The story of Jesus turning water into wine in John 2:3-10.
2) If you are going to tell me that condemning homosexuality is acceptable because the Bible tells you it is, then tell me this: do you also believe that slavery, murder and oppression of women are acceptable? I don't think that even the most conservative Christian will agree that those things are acceptable today, so I have a hard time listening to someone who condemns homosexuality solely because of a couple passages from the Bible do it.
Until you can read the original text, don’t tell me the Bible you read is accurate
It is no secret that there are translations of translations of the original texts that comprise today’s Bible. Different versions of the Bible have different meanings completely. In many of the passages condemning homosexuality, there are two Hebrew words which are have been mistranslated in many English versions of the Old Testament:
qadesh: a male prostitute who engaged in ritual sex in a Pagan temple . In many of today’s versions of the bible, qadesh is mistranslated simply as "sodomite" or "homosexual."
to'ebah: a condemned, foreign, Pagan, religious, cult practice. Again, in many passages it is simply translated as "abomination."
The word “homosexual” didn’t exist when the Bible was originally written. That word came into being sometime in the late 19th century, and was inserted into passages in the bible by translators.
Sex and Love in a Monogamous, Committed Relationship
When someone turns to the Bible for advice on their heterosexual relationship, you (hopefully!) won’t find them looking at the passages about rape, sexual abuse and prostitution. Similarly, I ask why you wouldn’t offer the same courtesy when looking for advice about homosexual relationships. When you take away the passages that warn against fornication, homosexual activity in Pagan temples, prostitution, the Bible has nothing to say, for or against, consensual, monogamous homosexual relationships.
I have heard people say that Genesis 19, the story of God destroying Sodom is a passage condemning homosexual rape, and in the same breath, they say that because God condemns homosexual rape, He must condemn homosexual activity. I have not ever heard, however, anyone say that because God condemns heterosexual rape (also in Genesis 19, Lot rapes and impregnates his two virgin daughters), God also condemns all heterosexual activity.
Three likely homosexual couples in the Bible
Please do not accuse me of saying the following three couples were definitely lovers. There are no unambiguous passages showing that a sexual relationship occurred. I will show you what there is written, and leave you to make your own decisions:
Ruth and Naomi ~ Though the relationship between Ruth and Naomi is probably the weakest, when trying to prove that there are homosexual relationships in the Bible, I still ask you to read the following passage, one often read in hetero and homosexual marriage ceremonies and ask yourself if these are words used to describe a friend:
Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me. (Ruth 1:16-17).
In Ruth 1:14, Ruth is said to clave unto Naomi, which is the same phraseology used when describing how a husband should be with his wife in Genesis 2:24.
Daniel and Ashpenaz ~ The Hebrew words used to describe the relationship between Daniel and Ashpenaz are “chesed v'rachamim”. “Chesed” is literally translated to "mercy". “V'rachamim” can mean "mercy" or "physical love". It is unlikely that the original text would have been written to say that Ashpenaz “mercy and mercy." Most liberal Christians allot for at least the possibility that the text translates to read that Ashpenaz showed “mercy and engaged in physical love" with Daniel.
When discussing Daniel and Ashpenaz, it is important to remember that they were both eunuchs. Before assuming they couldn’t be homosexuals and eunuchs, it is actually the case that men retain their sexual drive, even after castration.
David and Jonathan
As heterosexual couples are told is the proper way to love their mate, David and Jonathan are said to have loved each other: ...Jonathan became one in spirit with David and he loved him as himself. (1 Samuel 18:1). In the next verses, Jonathan strips himself naked before David to make a promise to him (yes, naked. People didn’t wear Joe Boxers in Biblical times): And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt. (1 Samuel 18:3-4). Now, I’m not sure how you are, but I don’t strip naked in front of my friends to show them how serious I am. My lover? Yes, I would make such a drastic gesture in front of my lover.
David turns down Saul’s offer to marry his eldest daughter, and upon offering marriage to his next daughter, we again have issues with translation. If the original Hebrew was kept in tact, it would read that Saul tells David that his marriage to Michal would make him twice a son-in-law (insinuating that Saul considers David a son-in-law through his relationship with Jonathan). Instead, most English translations allude to this being the second chance for David to be Saul’s son-in-law.
There is even one passage where the original Hebrew could be translated to show that after kissing Jonathan, David gets an erection. Of course, you will never find that in today’s translations, but there are theologians who insist that that is the proper translation of the verse.
Final Note
I am in no way trying to convince anyone that the Bible is wrong. I am only trying to raise my daughter and son to think for themselves, to look at people for how they love, and not ever question who they love. I am not trying to shake anyone’s faith. I only want my children to be good people, never to judge, never to feel unnecessary guilt if they grow up and realize they are gay. I wish I didn’t have to fight the other side of their gene pool, but one thing at a time, right?
In writing this, I did not intend to offend anyone, especially based on their religious beliefs, and I apologize if anyone feels like I was unfairly picking on them. However, I recant that apology if you are among the groups of people who exhibit hatred or condemnation or judgment against other groups of people and use your religious beliefs to justify such actions.
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