Klein bottles: the way to a math geek's heart
Oct 09 '00
Are you, or is someone you love, a math geek? Does your significant other spend countless hours in the bathroom reading mathematics journals (for the articles)? Are leftovers referred to as "modulo meals" in your home?
Well, do I have the gift for you!
Yes, folks, for the low, low price of $25 (or more if you care enough to send the very best -- and biggest) you can send your singular sweetie his/her very own Acme Klein bottle. To quote the manufacturer (a geek after your own heart) from his web site, www.kleinbottle.com:
These are the finest closed, non-orientable, boundary-free manifolds sold anywhere in our three spatial dimensions.
What's that? Your honey is a geek, but you're not? Perhaps a little explanation is in order then.
You've heard of a Mobius strip, right? Imagine a narrow strip of paper. Give it a half twist and then attach the two ends to each other. (Try it - you'll like it.) If you run a pencil along the strip you'll find that you eventually reach your starting point, having traversed what appear to be the "inside" and "outside" surfaces without ever lifting the pencil. That's because this amazing shape has only one side!
A Klein bottle is like that, only in three dimensions: its inside and outside are one and the same and it has zero volume <cue: Twilight Zone music>. Imagine a soda bottle. Cut off the bottom. Now take off the cap, grab the top of the bottle and streeeettttch it (this is a thought experiment, ok?) and stick it into the side of the bottle. From there, bring it down, stretch it open and attach it to the bottom of the bottle, closing the bottle up.
There: you've made a Klein bottle. A pretty ugly one, of course. Not like the nice hand-blown glass ones you'll get from Acme Klein Bottles. But a one-sided bottle, nonetheless.
(By the way, that hard part where you stuck the top of the bottle through the side is only necessary if you're working in three dimensions. In four dimensions, that doesn't happen.)
So why am I telling you all about this topological wonder? Well, if you're a math geek yourself, you already see the point. (What, am I kidding myself? If you're a math geek, I lost you a few paragraphs ago -- you're already over at www.kleinbottle.com ordering one -- and discovering a delightfully witty and entertaining web site at the same time.) But if you're just in love with a math geek, here's the cool part: if you order a Klein bottle for your sweetheart, you will win major brownie points. Your darling will swoon over you and brag to his/her friends about your impeccable taste in gifts.
I know. I bought my husband his very own Klein bottle as an anniversary present. It continues to delight him. He continues to praise me for it. And I didn't even think of it myself: HE ASKED FOR IT! Imagine if you come up with this gift idea seemingly all on your own. You'll have your sweetie's heart forever. I guarantee it. (Limited guarantee void where prohibited by law.)
Acme Klein Bottles are available in several shapes and variations. They'll even carefully slice them in half for you: the exposed edge traces a Mobius strip. (Warning: a large bottle sliced in half will run you $150.) All Acme bottles come with "documentation" which is sure to have any true math geek rolling on the floor with laughter - the web site is pretty funny, too: check out the product features at <www.kleinbottle.com/why_acme.htm>.
Special note to those to whom this review seems familiar: I originally posted this under Techies->Five Gifts and am moving it here after receiving a comment that it was misplaced. I don't think it belongs in Site_Reviews, as the comment suggested, but I do think that this category is a little more appropriate. If you agree - or disagree - please leave a comment!
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Epinions.com ID:
theeye
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Location: New York, NY (it's a hell of a town!)
Reviews written: 66
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About Me:
Company president, math geek, first time mom at 39, epinion addict. Sleep? Not lately.
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