"I love you, your mom/dad loves you, and it is NOT your fault."
Apr 07 '00
And that, in my opinion, is ALL that children need to know about the divorce. Yes, sometimes divorce is inevitable, and children need to be told the truth, because they know when you're lying. And I'm not saying you shouldn't talk to your children about what is going on, because you should. You should help them deal with their feelings about the situation, be aware of the effects that it is having on them, and above all, do everything you can to protect them from getting hurt in the situation.
So what do I mean, by that is all they need to know? Well, since you asked.. Your children are NOT your best friends. Yes, I know, a lot of families share an openness and feel they can talk about anything.. but it is not a fair burden to place on your children. Don't tell them that your spouse cheated on you.. don't ask them for advice about what to do.. don't tell them things that will put them in the position of having to defend you to your ex-spouse. They're children, it's not their place.
Remember that whatever your feelings are about your ex-spouse, he/she is still the parent of your children, and more than likely they still love him/her. If you badmouth your spouse to, or even in front of, your children.. you are making them feel guilty for that love. And since they are a child of that person, you are criticizing a part of them.
I know that this comes across pretty harsh. I know that a divorce is a difficult time for everyone involved, and it can be hard to keep everything together. Just be careful what you let your children see, because children don't forget.
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Epinions.com ID:
amylouky
|
|
Member: Amy
Location: Louisville, Kentucky
Reviews written: 176
Trusted by: 91 members
About Me:
Hello from Kentucky!
|
|
|
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.