About Birth Mothers
May 01 '00
I am a social worker/Director of a private, non-profit adoption agency that has been in existence since 1939. I have been with this agency for 11 years now. My agency does domestic adoptions only, and most of them are open adoptions (I may write another epinion on open adoption because there is so much confusion and mis-information about it).
I am seizing this opportunity to tell anyone interested in adoption about some of the beauty, the joy, and the sadness of adoption. In my position, I am fortunate enough to see it all. On a daily basis I am lucky enough to see the truly good side of people, especially birth mothers.
A woman enters my office pregnant, confused, and afraid. For whatever reason, she has found herself in a position where she doesn't feel ready to parent, but to her credit, she has decided to proceed with life. During the course of counseling her, she either decides that she CAN parent and we begin preparing her for parenthood, or she decides she can't parent and will place. These women are courageous and should be admired. Unfortunately, a lot of people look down on these women as not loving their children. I hear comments all of the time, "How could a mother not want her child?" I can assure you, I have never had someone walk into my office and say she didn't "want" her baby.
To place a baby for adoption is very painful, it is devastating, a pain that a lot of people will never know (or understand). So why do they do it? Because they love their babies so much that they want more for their child. They want their child to have 2 parents; parents who are emotionally and financially stable; parents who will love this child and provide every opportunity in life for this child; opportunities that she doesn't feel she can provide. A mother makes an adoption decision, not because she doesn't love or want her baby, but because she DOES love her baby. She loves this child so much that she is willing to put the child's needs above her own broken heart.
I have watched many mothers holding their babies, telling them they love them, kissing them goodbye, then handing them over to people they trust to love and care for their child. And then walk out of the hospital without the child they just gave birth to. I think that takes a lot of guts....and a lot of love.
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Epinions.com ID:
Yzerman
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Member: Diane
Location: Louisville, Kentucky
Reviews written: 173
Trusted by: 391 members
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