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Hope my hit helps (Reply to this comment)
by glomarrone
Hi,
I saw on your profile page a request to hit this review so I did. Thanks for talking about this important subject and bringing it back to our awareness. Good job!
Thanks for reading my reviews as well. Now I'm going to hit one of your reviews that you listed as being less noticed. Hope it helps too.
Gloria
Gloria
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Mar 05 '02
6:42 am PST
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It is obvious... (Reply to this comment)
by sleeper54
...that even 18 months after you originally wrote this it continues to touch and influence those who read it.
Thank you for sharing this information with all of us and giving us LOTS to think about as we go about our daily lives.
sleeper54
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Feb 06 '02
6:59 pm PST
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Well, now I'm giving $.00 cents to RAINN... (Reply to this comment)
by fallenjesusboy
... but that matters not. Rape is, in my mind, a crime beat out only by murder in terms of how sick and unbelievable it is, and I am always glad to see information like this presented. It happens more often than we think, and anything said or done to educate people about it is worthwhile. I'm sure you've heard it many times before, but thanks for writing this.
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Dec 12 '01
3:39 pm PST
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I'll be passing this article on to (Reply to this comment)
by ifif1938
my daughters and sisters.. I'm sorry I read it so late and that only a penny will be donated instead of the big 3 cents it would have gotten before the change.
Thanks for this review and all the others insightful ones you have written.. I'm
just catching up now
:)
Barbara
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Aug 27 '01
8:36 am PDT
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Re: Can I give another statistic... (Reply to this comment)
by sibhreach
mickie79,
One of the facts that really hit me was that many rapists (of strangers) actually said to themselves a variant of "okay, I'll get the next woman who comes around the corner...", without regard to age, clothing worn, attractiveness, etc. Which means--you did nothing wrong! Even in cases where the victim knows her attacker, power is the issue, not lust.
Wow! That's it, exactly - which explains why older women are just as at risk as anyone else. I have always thought of them more at risk for the simple fact that the more frail they are, the more likely rapists would assume an easier attack.
For anyone - particularly females - would have to take a certain amount of caution in situations. You don't go waving your newly cashed paycheck on the street, you don't leave your car doors (nor your house/apt/condo doors) unlocked, why would you willingly allow yourself to be put in a situation where you have little to no control?
Keep your wits about you at all times - you never know when you're going to need them! Thanks for the comments!
...Cairlí "sibhreach"
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Jul 20 '01
5:44 am PDT
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Can I give another statistic... (Reply to this comment)
by mickie79
on this subject? Back in the late 70's I was given actual FBI studies on rape. One of the facts that really hit me was that many rapists (of strangers) actually said to themselves a variant of "okay, I'll get the next woman who comes around the corner...", without regard to age, clothing worn, attractiveness, etc. Which means--you did nothing wrong! Even in cases where the victim knows her attacker, power is the issue, not lust. Many men have wanted a particular woman, but have never considered overcoming her to get what they want. Rape is the ultimate in overpowering someone. Don't ever feel that you are at fault because of what you wear or how you look.
That said, I do believe that women have to be aware of their surroundings to protect themselves. That means not getting trashed at a bar and expecting others to take care of you. Some people are just looking for an opportunity, and you might be providing it. I have been in local bands for years, and it still amazes me how many times I've seen women get drunk and go home with some guy they don't know or barely know. No one deserves to get raped, but we do have to take some responsibility to protect ourselves from unnecessary risks.
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Jul 19 '01
7:18 am PDT
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Re: Hello (Reply to this comment)
by sibhreach
Thank you for writing - and for reading. :) Please - pass on this article, if you wish. I can't possibly do it without other folks' help.
As you already know, this is an important issue - life or death, in some cases...a lot more than we like to believe. I can't keep silent about this, and nor should anyone else.
Thanks, again. :)
....Cairlí "sibhreach"
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Apr 06 '01
5:57 pm PDT
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Re: Well done (Reply to this comment)
by sibhreach
Thank you so much, Peter! I want to keep this article active and circulating, because there can never be enough talking about this subject! It's hard to talk about - I know it, but it's something that needs to out in the open and people need to be aware.
I'm grateful for your words...and I'll do as you request and not put you on my WOT. :) Thanks, again for your support.
...C. "sibhreach"
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Feb 28 '01
8:54 am PST
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Well done (Reply to this comment)
by eplovejoy
Dear sibhreach,
It has been several days since I read this piece and I find myself still thinking about it. This may sound odd, but please do not put me on your Web of Trust. That way, this won't seem like an attempt to curry favor. It is just an attempt to praise and encourage your writing.
We live in a world that is smaller for women. Reasonable fears of rape and other violence compel women to stay out of many areas, and force them to employ calculations of caution unknown to most men. You've helpd to promote understanding of this and to encourage improvement.
The results of your efforts might not be apparent, but I hope that doesn't prevent you from continuing.
Best wishes,
Peter
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Jan 04 '01
9:38 am PST
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Re: With tears running down my cheeks... (Reply to this comment)
by sibhreach
First of all, thank you, Ali, for being brave enough to tell your story. :) It's never easy, always painful - and everyone feels totally alone. You're not. No one is alone in this - but being terrified doesn't make you think clearly. It hurts you more.
Sometimes....you wish you would have died that day, instead of being raped. It seems that it would be kinder to have died, than to be left alive with those horrible memories and sensations. The violent shuddering, feeling sick to your stomach - all those horrible reactions to a long-ago memory that comes up at the worst of times. Then, you live...and you punish yourself more - because you did live; what a horrible thing to do to yourself....
Ali - you are a survivor. Don't forget that! You've made it this far and there's help out there! All you have to do is take one more step and call someone. Talk to someone. You don't have to live with this fear, sweety.
Also, feel good that you did go to the police - that at least, the DNA and all those samples are there and the police are looking for the criminal. Many rape victims remain victims because no one knows. No one tells and they keep these secrets until someone else notices there is something wrong - or they end up killing themselves. You did not go this route - and for that you should feel stronger. You were brave to keep going - and tell others, finally. :)
Please seek help - and keep fighting. You are a strong person, Ali. Don't give up!
Much love and power,
Carlee
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Dec 21 '00
10:26 am PST
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Re: I think... (Reply to this comment)
by sibhreach
I can only hope people have found some comfort in knowing that they can get help - that it may be difficult, but not impossible to live through this.
For folks who think, "Not my daughter/son/wife/husband/friend" - I want to scare them into thinking, and realising that anyone can fall prey. It's scary - of course it's scary! - but it doesn't have to be a life-long pain or suffering. Understanding and tolerance are needed here.
Thank you so much for reading, miridunn - and know that you are helping RAINN by simply reading this. :)
...C.
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Nov 17 '00
12:10 pm PST
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Re: Great Article! (Reply to this comment)
by sibhreach
Thank you, AinsleyJo. :) I hope your friends find some relief - and some help for what they've gone through. It's so difficult for when you feel completely alone and no one else seems to understand.
Rape makes you feel such shame to the point where hiding it and not talking about it is so much easier. Of course, doing that only makes it worse and problems occur in other areas of your life. Sex takes on an entirely new meaning after you've been raped.
Thanks, again, for your support and rating of my editorial. :)
...Carlee
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Nov 17 '00
11:58 am PST
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Great Article! (Reply to this comment)
by AinsleyJo
This article is not only great in the right of its own content but it also has a lot of helpful resources contained in it. I have some friends who have gone through rape. If they haven't already been here, I'm going to give them the URL to find this place! :o)
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Nov 17 '00
6:55 am PST
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I think... (Reply to this comment)
by miridunn
Kids & Family is an appropriate spot for this, actually. Thank you for your time and effort in this area. I'm sure you have helped may people with your thoguhts and the provided links.
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Nov 06 '00
1:00 pm PST
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Re: Put this Article on Other Sites ! (Reply to this comment)
by sibhreach
Thank you, eljoree for the wonderful suggestion! I actually have a story on www.writtenbyme.com, then a link to this article.
I was also given the suggestion to post on Themestream. I'm currently trying to re-write another article (but it's difficult for me, being this is an article and not just a review of something) for Themestream - of which I am a reading member.
Thank you, again, for your comments and for reading this article! Help break the taboo!
...C.
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Oct 27 '00
11:51 pm PDT
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Thank You (Reply to this comment)
by jejensen
A very informative and obviously heartfelt review.
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Oct 26 '00
11:21 pm PDT
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Put this Article on Other Sites ! (Reply to this comment)
by Eljoree
You have such a great article it needs to get out to everyone possible. Go to www.themestream.com/ and join if you are not already a member. You may use me as a reference if you want to (Ellen Guidry.) I think they have an appropriate location for this article! You would have to rewrite it I am sure so that it won't break any copyright laws, but it can be done! You retain copyright ownership to everything you post at themestream!
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Oct 20 '00
9:04 pm PDT
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Re: Caradoc sent me this way. (Reply to this comment)
by sibhreach
Altaloma,
I'm so sorry that your daughter had to suffer through something like this...and you, as well...:(
Please don't apologise for the length of your comments. I just want people to feel able to comment at all, if they like.
Your daughter seems to be very strong - and your family, too...don't deny that strength! Draw from it! I hope the very best for you and your daughter.
Stay safe,
...Carlee
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Oct 06 '00
12:43 am PDT
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Very Nicely Done! (Reply to this comment)
by Remind
But no surprise here....all your posts ARE! This one is special or maybe I just can connect.....having worked through this one myself!
To this day....I still find myself always facing the center of a room with my back to a wall.....always protecting.
Great Job!
Zo
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Sep 27 '00
7:47 am PDT
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Re: Excellent Editorial, and the rest... (Reply to this comment)
by sibhreach
Again - thanks to everyone and their comments! I have been currently overwhelmed with work so I've not been able to do much on Epinions - but I've been reading and keeping an eye on this! Thanks for everyone's supportive comments and getting this article out and read! :)
JIM - Thank you so much for your concern and your thoughts....I am more than willing (as you know) to talk about this and get suggestions to further my cause. :) As I've said earlier, I am passionate about this...feeling that it is absolutely necessary we break this taboo. Thanks.
ROCOBOKO - Bless you for being so brave...and thank you so much for reading this editorial. :) Stay strong!
THEDRAGONWEYR - Very true words!!! Although, I would change them slightly...survivors of this crime should be treated with gentleness and understanding - and not just victims. They are victims after the rape/sexual assault. They are survivors the day after - and through everyone else's compassion. Thank you, Pamela. :)
I wrote this editorial to help those who've been raped, initially. I write these comments in the hopes those who've been lucky enough to not been raped can see just how important they are - and how emotionally devastating it is. I honestly don't know what can be done legally; what kinds of laws would really make a difference. Perhaps, though, if the public faced this issue without whispers, or snickering, or denial...maybe victims would truly come forward - and maybe we'd be able to help them to heal that much faster.
It takes years to heal from rape....and it's that much more difficult when you can't tell a soul the immeasureable pain and shame and worthlessness you feel. Rape victims have been tortured enough - the public should help them stop torturing themselves.
That's my hope. Thank you so much for reading.
...Carlee
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Sep 13 '00
5:22 pm PDT
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Excellent Editorial (Reply to this comment)
by thedragonweyr
Until the victims of this terrible and violent crime are always treated as victims and not willing accomplices we will continue to exacerbate their pain.
Pamela <^..^>
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Sep 13 '00
6:06 am PDT
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Re: Thanks For Your Sense Of Public Duty! (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
Dear Carlee--
I have attempted several times to reply to your email but it keeps getting sent back from your address (unable to locate?)
Any suggestions?
Jim
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Sep 12 '00
1:37 pm PDT
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very, very well written (Reply to this comment)
by rocoboko
I was a victim of a rape attempt many years ago. I was rescued before the rape, but not until after a beating I endured trying to defend myself from several individuals. That experience left me scared in more ways than one and my heart breaks for those who are victims of rape. Bless you for posting it.
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Sep 11 '00
10:15 pm PDT
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Thanks For Your Sense Of Public Duty! (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
That rape occurs at all is unacceptable. Perhaps we are not harsh enough in dealing with rapists; not open, helpful, or supportive enough to/of its victims... I'm interested in anything you might have to say in this regard. My address is on my profile page. Your article has inspired many; me included...
Best,
Jim (29th_Candidate)
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Sep 10 '00
10:46 pm PDT
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Thanks for EVERYONE'S support!!!! (Reply to this comment)
by sibhreach
Shannon658 - I've updated the link to your website and will update it on my personal website as well. :) Thank you for your amazing website and all its great information! Those kind comments are well-deserved! (Thanks for your link, too!)
tonycolars - Thank you for your words of encouragement. :) I'm just hoping that others can really find help from this editorial, and not feel like their rape is the end of their lives. People can heal - if they have the tools, and RAINN is definitely a good one. What shocks many people is that males are raped as well - and it's even more difficult for them to come forward. Thank you, again, Ross. :)
davelaura - Sweety...you are a rape survivor! :) You are still fighting, still healing and realising you aren't alone!!! That's the difference between victims and survivors. Thank you for being so brave as to tell your story and reading my editorial. :) Stay strong, grrrl! :)
Much passion and empowerment,
Carlee
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Sep 09 '00
11:43 am PDT
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So True!!! (Reply to this comment)
by davelaura
I think this article is excellent! I wished that all people would read this one. A rape victim myself I felt like I was reliving the past. Everything that the author wrote is true. I highly recommend this article for all people of all ages.
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Sep 08 '00
6:17 pm PDT
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Hi (Reply to this comment)
by Tonycolars
Great editorial, im glad someone wrote something so well about this. I've been listening to Tori since last year, and even as a male it shocks me to think that this is so rapidly occuring.
take care of yourself,
Ross
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Sep 08 '00
4:35 pm PDT
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Thanks! (Reply to this comment)
by shannon658
Thank you for writing and posting such a great article, and for the donation to RAINN. It will be very appreciated. I just added a link to your opinion from my website, which you have graciously linked to: thank you for your support and the kind comments you wrote about Barbados!
Take care.
Shannon
<A HREF="http://wwwdot.net/barbados">Welcome to Barbados</A>
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Sep 06 '00
2:07 pm PDT
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Re: I have ... (Reply to this comment)
by sibhreach
Thank you so much, Shannon! :) I don't mind in the least you've put a link on your profile page! I'm grateful, in fact!
This editorial was written in response to a very dear friend of mine who I've urged to seek professional help - and all of her guilt and pain I wanted to take away...and being a taboo subject - this was always difficult.
It is because it's taboo - I felt the absolute need to write this. People need to be heard and need to be shown that rape isn't something "they ask for", or deserve....it's just another crime, albeit highly personal and violating.
No one wants to think about this - men are doubly damned (pls. forgive the word) because they are not just potential victims - but they are seen as the "bad guys", which is unfair, too. No one wins - and everyone feels horrible.
Silence about this only perpetuates that feeling of shame - but it doesn't help anyone, least of all the person raped.
Thank you so much, Shannon. I am truly grateful for your support.
....C.
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Sep 05 '00
9:39 pm PDT
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I have ... (Reply to this comment)
by Psychovant
... always had RAINN listed as a favorite webpage on my profile page but have not been able to bring myself to write any sort of review on the subject (just have not been able to get there yet) so I hope you don't mind if I put a link to your wonderful review in lieu of being able to post myself on the subject?
I agree with Gungian, this is a very well-written and informative article and I thank you for the thought you took to post it.
Shannon
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Sep 05 '00
6:29 pm PDT
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