The Genuine Royale with Cheese at Bistro Burger
Written: Oct 23 '02 (Updated Oct 23 '02)
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Pros: The hamburgers now come with buns!
Cons: It calls to me.
The Bottom Line: uh, it's good.
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| Mr.Eyore's Full Review: Bistro Burger |
I imagine that if anyone working at MacDonalds had the slightest healthy sense of disdain for their fellow man, they would feel compelled to jump over the counter and neck punch every tenth person who walked in and ordered a “Royale with Cheese” thinking they were being funny. But then, I also sort of imagine that nobody walking into a MacDonalds really thinks anything is funny. Well, except for those McFlurries; I don’t know anyone who doesn’t think they’re funny.
Bistro Burger, located in Trinity Alley between Bush and Kearney in Downtown San Francisco, actually serves a Royale with Cheese, and part of me resents it, because I don’t think they’re doing it with any sense of irony at all. Part of me also resents it because it’s so damn good I can’t resist getting one about once a week.
Bistro Burger starts grilling up 6 ounce patties of freshly ground Niman Ranch beef around 11:00 each day, and at about 11:05, all that smoky, meaty goodness starts wafting through my office window, 12 floors above and across the alley. It taunts me, and I hate it because of that, because nearly every morning I think to myself “Today I’m gonna head down the street and get me some o’ that salad-by-the-pound.” But all too frequently, my legs head in the opposite direction, leading me to the end of a long line of other fat lawyers waiting for their 6 dollar burgers.
the sammiches
The Bacon Cheeseburger Royale ($5.90) is my usual order. It comes with a choice of brie, gorgonzola or aged cheddar. I usually get the gorgonzola, which is a perfect accompaniment to the generous heap of thick-cut applewood smoked bacon.
I also usually substitute a turkey burger for the regular beef patty. That’s not something you’d catch me doing at any other burger joint, but truthfully, Bistro’s turkey burger is actually juicier and more flavorful than the beef. I don’t know how they do it. Turkey burgers are almost always just a step up from those nasty nut-mushroom Boca Burger things (which Bistro Burger also serves). But the turkey burgers here just drip with salty fat. They’s good.
Bistro Burger offers a fair selection of other upscale hamburgers too. They’ve got a Southwest Burger ($5.50) with green chiles and jack cheese; a California Burger ($6.00) with avocado, provolone and sprouts; a Paris Burger ($5.90) with brie and sauteed mushrooms; the Western ($5.60) with cheddar and barbeque sauce; and the Pineapple Cheddar ($5.60). Their bottom rung burger, The Bistro ($4.50) is served with only the toppings that come with all of the others, lettuce, tomato and red onion. But it’s a nice, fresh, lettuce, tomato and onion, so I guess someone might enjoy that.
Bistro Burger also makes a decent variety of non-burger sandwiches. The Chicken Capri ($5.75) is among my favorites: a grilled breast of chicken with a fat slice of prosciutto and melted gruyere, served on a nice floury bun. They also have a Cajun chicken sandwich ($4.95), a Thai Peanut Chicken Sandwich ($4.95), a Teriyaki Chicken Sandwich ($4.95) and a number of other chicken sandwiches that have the same toppings as their specialty burgers.
They also have some damn fine french fries ($1.25; $2.25) and crispy, just-fat-enough-but-not-too-fat onion rings ($1.85; $3.70). I often get the Frings ($1.65; $3.30), which is, you know, a little bit of each. Then I don’t really work the rest of the day.
the salads
Bistro Burger serves about nine different salads, none of which are all that impressive. They look impressive there on the menu – heck, they even look pretty impressive there on the plate or in the little see-through to-go container – but I haven’t really loved any of the ones I’ve tried. The Cobb Salad ($7.15) is your standard layout of chicken, egg, tomato, avocado and cheese on a bed of lettuce. But, the cheese they give you is Swiss, not the blue cheese I prefer, and there ain’t no bacon! You can get a much better Cobb for a buck less around the corner at the local deli.
The Chinese Chicken Salad ($6.75) is similarly a disappointment. They say it’s got “Marinated grilled chicken with fresh ginger, sesame and rice wine vinegar, served on a bed of lettuce with julienne of jicama, red bell peppers, bean sprouts, crispy noodles and chopped nuts.” The problem with it is the dressing’s got no bite, and the non-lettuce items really only exists as a sparse smattering. Their Mixed baby greens with apples, walnuts and gorgonzola ($6.25, $8.00 with chicken) shows promise, but given how weak the other salads have been, I haven’t bothered to try it. Nor have I tried their Caesar ($5.65), which I will nevertheless declare lousy sight unseen. The Albacore Tuna Salad ($7.15), with tomatoes, baby corn, red onions, capers, kalamata olives and raspberry vinaigrette doesn’t even sound good.
the space
The interior of Bistro Burger is studded with those tall cafe-style tables, with two or three bar stools apiece, and about a half-dozen regular two-top tables. It tends to be pretty loud inside, and if you are sitting at any of the tables in the front third of the restaurant, you are likely to get elbowed and bumped by the folks who are hovering around waiting for their to-go orders. Much better is the outside seating area, especially on nice summer and fall days, although seating both in and outside the restaurant is difficult to come by from noon to 1:00. But when you can, and it’s not too windy out, it’s a nice, inviting space, next to a discount art dealer who lines the alley walls with massive framed posters.
the service
You know, it’s kind of a fast food joint, so what are ya gonna say about the service? They’re nice, friendly, efficient. They have yet to get my order wrong even once in about 70 visits. They’re pretty quick, and when I eat there (instead of ordering to go) the runner guys always seem to find my little number tree on the table without much problem.
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Bistro Burger
333 Bush Steet (on Trinity Alley)
415-434-3754
Additional locations:
343 Sansome Street (between California and Sacramento)
201 Mission Street (between Main and Fremont)
300 Frank Ogawa Plaza, Oakland
Recommended:
Yes
Kid Friendliness: Yes
Vegetarian Friendly: Yes
Best Suited For: Business
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Mr.Eyore
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About Me:
I come for the pervasive sense of elitist self-importance and semi-witty expressions of faux camaraderie
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