Dead Sexy by Kathy Lette should be x-rated. Or at least come with a warning on the cover-not for the faint, or purist or Puritan at heart. It's less of a "mystery" than a series of short chapters strung together with somewhat witty and amusing antidotes about the battle of the sexes, the differences between men and women etc...Oh and I'm gonna put a warning here-it's impossible to review this book without talking about S-E-X. If that offends you-stop now. Believe me, what I put in the review is NOTHING compared to the book.
It's not a bad book, but not the greatest either. The story and plot are filled with twists and turns, most of them unrealistic and well, odd. Add in the x-rated language, descriptions of various body parts and you have-a very different type of novel.
The book begins with a British music teacher Susan Green stuck in the middle of a reality TV show about getting married. A TV show aptly named Dateless and Desperate. Her students signed her up, filled out the papers and didn't tell her about it-until SHE was chosen to be part of the show. Susan isn't sure if she is going to kill herself or her students. Sure, she's a single, not quite middle aged music teacher who used to be a classical guitarist(those who can't teach is thrown at her later in the book....). She convinces herself that she'll tell the TV people she's not interested, then she gets a look at the man she's been matched up to be married to-Kit Kinkade. Tall, blond and handsome Susan begins to wonder if just maybe a temporary marriage might have some fringe benefits. Susan has some serious hang ups about men, relationships and sex, courtesy of her late mother. But the TV show is offering a hell of a deal-Get married get $25,000 pounds. Make it thru the honeymoon on the French occupied island Reunion, get another $25,000 pounds. Stay married a year and get another $50,000 pounds. $100,000 all together-or less depending on how long she can last.
Before she can tell off the TV producers, Susan is whisked into a limo with her soon-to-be husband Kit. Kit turns out to be an American, not an Englishman and during the ride to the wedding ceremony(one which Susan has decided will NOT take place) Kit manages to nibble a bit on her naughty bits and convince her that if she marries him, even for a short time, he will rock her world. Susan figures-what the heck, life is short and the money would be nice, and the honeymoon is something to look forward to. So when push comes to shove-Susan says yes
Susan finds herself on board a plane headed for Reunion minus a husband but plus a hard as nails female TV producer and a grotesquely overweight and vulgar cameraman who happens to be Australian and who delights in making rude, obnoxious and x rated comments about sex. Susan is ready to run like hell but is convinced to give things a shot-and she remembers what Kit has promised her-a lot of fun and sex.
Once at the expensive resort the TV show is paying for, Susan finds that Kit isn't a blond, that he might not be named Kit and that his attentions seem to be focused on getting up the skirt of a French lounge singer with strategically placed tattoos named Coco, rather than in bed-with Susan providing the promised carnal delights. Coco, along with all the other French residents of Reunion speak using the words Ze... a lot. It's amazingly annoying after a bit, condescending and annoying.
The island, while appearing to be a paradise is actually in turmoil. The main population on the island are descendants of African slaves the French(or perhaps I should say ZE French) brought over to work and die on the plantations. Ze French, including a Draconian police inspector, have no respect for the poverty and downtrodden black residents who have revolution in their hearts.
Susan finds herself in the middle of some very odd plot twists, Kit keeps putting her off. The TV producer keeps convincing her to give him another chance. The police are suspicious of Coco, accusing her of being the head revolutionary's girl friend and wondering what exactly is Kit doing with Coco. Every time Susan is about to quit-to heck with the other $25,000 someone convinces her to try to make it work-just a bit longer.
Anytime things start to slow down, Lette tosses in a new twist. Some of them damned near unbelievable. In between she makes a lot of jokes about sex and the female/male anatomy. A LOT of jokes. There are times when you expect to turn and see someone in the corner with a drum and cymbal-ready to punctuate the jokes like on a bad late night comedy- talk show. There are times when-ENOUGH OF THE VAGINA JOKES ALREADY... The plot twists are insane, the characterizations are over the top and in some cases, flat out offensive.
It's not a bad book, but not the greatest either. My mother handed it to me with the comment that she wasn't sure I'd like it. This usually doesn't mean much, she said the same thing when she handed me a copy of Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series... Those books I love, I read over and over and over. I doubt I'll read this one again. As to searching out other books by this author-I don't know if I would deliberately seek out a book by Kathy Lette, if another was given to me-I'd read it. If I could find it cheap at a used store, on line or remaindered out-sure why not? But unlike authors like Reed Farrel Coleman , Rennie Airth, Georgette Heyer- just a few of the other authors my mother has introduced me to-I'm not chomping at the bit to go find more, more MORE by Lette. She is a decent and amusing writer, but not the greatest. It's funny, the book I read before this-By Georgette Heyer had no sex and didn't need it, this one had too much and could have used a bit less. Obviously this author has taken to heart that SEX SELLS. Yes, it does, sometimes. But at what cost?
Would I recommend this book? Oye... that's a hard one. There were parts I enjoyed and there are people I know who might enjoy reading this book. But at the same time there are people I know who would likely have heart failure if they read even the first chapter of this book. So-I would recommend this, with warnings to some people and not to others. There are parts that are very much porno without pictures, if that appeals to you as a reader-go for it. If not-stay far, far away.
When Shelly, a London music teacher, is unwittingly entered in a Desperate and Dateless reality show contest, she wins and finds herself caught up in ...More at Buy.com Marketplaces
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