margomargo's Full Review: Black&Decker Extra - Tall Can Opener
Its predecessors have met fates ignominious and gruesome. They have screamed like girly-men. They have sputtered like ciggy butts dropped into coffee grounds. Their blades have grown dull and lifeless long before their time. Yea, verily, they have even smoked piteously and been unceremoniously doused in snowbanks. Some have survived a few months, others only a few weeks. This domicile, home to a race of cold-blooded appliance killers, has been heartlessly unkind to can openers.
Into the valley of the shadow of death marched the Black and Decker Extra Tall Can Opener EC400 Series. It shouted "HA!" to a can of Spaghettios which had just been severely dented, having been used as a hammer to re-shape a bent ski pole. It hissed "BRING IT!" to a can of Purina cat food, knocked off the counter and pushed down the basement stairs by a ravenous Felinator.
To all cans, big and small, dented and smooth, thick and thin, it hums "Open, open, open ... whether you're inserted crooked or straight, upside-down or right-side-up, I shall have my way with you!"
And so it proudly stands today on the kitchen counter, white and gleaming, ready to do battle, triumphant after more than three years of determined daily abuse. We have given it our best, and it has prevailed.
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