naphtalia's Full Review: Ronald H. Isaacs - Every Person's Guide to Death a...
Rabbi Ronald H. Isaacs, who wrote Every Person's Guide to Death and Dying in the Jewish Tradition, is the author of a series of books beginning with "Every Person's Guide to...". These books give a good basic grounding to anyone seeking to understand how to live as a Jew. Other titles written by Isaacs include Loving Companions: Our Jewish Wedding Album (a collaboration with Leora Isaacs); The Jewish Information Sourcebook: A Dictionary and Almanac; Close Encounters: Jewish Views about God; Jewish Music: It's History, People and Song; Every Person's Guide to Jewish Prayer; Miracles: A Jewish Perspective, and Divination, Magic; and Healing: The Book of Jewish Folklore. This is a man with a talent for explaining things Jewish in a way that is interesting to both the non-Jew, the non-practicing Jew and the practicing Jew - whether reform, conservative or orthodox.
In Every Person's Guide to Death and Dying in the Jewish Tradition, Isaacs begins by discussing the Jewish view about the sanctity of life and death. The highest good in Judaism is "Tikkun haNefesh" or Preservation of the Soul. Jewish tradition tells us that one who has saved a single life is as though he has saved the world.
Isaacs book begins with the period before death. He explains the responsibility of the community, what needs to happen before death, and the mitzvah of "bikkur cholim" (visiting the sick). He explains the place in Jewish tradition of "Vidui" (confession). He talks about the place of ethical wills in the Jewish tradition. Ethical wills involve not only the things you leave, but the things you wish to say to those you leave behind.
The next part of the book is titled "From Death to Bereavement." There are many mitzvot (commandments) that Jews are to fulfill on a regular basis. With the death of a loved one may come "aninut" (exemption from certain religious duties) for a time. Isaacs gives a good explanation of from what things a Jew is released. He also gives a detailed explanation of who is a mourner.
Jewish funereal tradition is very specific. Funerals take place as quickly as possible after a death. This allows the mourning process to begin. It also saves hard feelings when someone doesn't schedule the funeral at a convenient time for someone else. The casket at a Jewish funeral is to be the simplest possible wood box. The book also gives explanation of what the Jewish view is of attending a Non-Jewish friend or relative's funeral.
The book primarily concerns itself with the Jewish traditions that come from Ashkenazic (Eastern European) tradition. There is also a chapter here on Sephardic (Spanish/Mediterranean) traditions.
This book is very complete. It explains what to do when making a shiva visit (bereavement visit), what one may see in the house of mourning, how to comfort mourners, and how to conclude the period of Shiva (the seven days following the funeral) and what to do during Shloshim (thirty days following the funeral).
One of the hardest things when someone close to us dies is to know how to behave. This book helps by taking away the questions. There are answers. What we should do and how we should behave is knowable. This book is too much to absorb in a single sitting. It is essential reading, however, for those who will be working with mourners. The synagogue at which I grew up had a committee to help with people in these circumstances. This book would make a wonderful resource for such a committee.
After death, this book gives guidance for Yahrzeits (anniversaries of the death) and for special situations and concerns. The book also addresses the Jewish views on suicide, autopsy, cremation, organ donation, amputated limbs, euthanasia, and exhumation. The part of the book that I found most helpful here was the section on helping children understand death.
There is also a section on the Jewish view of the world beyond the grave. Though Jews seldom discuss life after death, there are traditional views. There are also many modern views which Isaacs covers herein. There are sections on immortality through family, influence, creative works, and memory. There are also discussions about reincarnation, resurrection and the rationalist view of what comes next. There are stories and quotations of rabbis and how they helped others in times of death and how they themselves died. There is talk about the world to come, of the Garden of Eden, of Gehenna (hell).
Finally, there is a section which provides words of comforts. It includes readings, the mourner's kaddish, prayers to be said when visiting the cemetary, Psalms 23 (The L-rd is my Shepherd) and 112 (Blessed is the man,) and A Woman of Valor.
This book is as complete a reference on the Jewish ways of death and dying as I have ever encountered. This book should be read before it is needed by every Jew. It should be part of every Jewish household. It is not only valuable as a Jewish resource, however. Each of us must come to terms with what we believe about life and death. Sometimes it is helpful to understand what those who have gone before us have discovered. Isaacs does a tremendous job in laying out the details of what has gone before.
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