All The Answers To Life's Great Mysteries
Written: Nov 09 '06 (Updated Apr 24 '09)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Laugh out loud funny, Incredibly smart
Cons: Devout Christians who love this book will burn for eternity
The Bottom Line: If you collect Authors, and not just books, this will make you collect Moore.
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| shmoo1's Full Review: Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Child... |
Ever wonder what happened to the 30 years in Christ's life that were left out of the bible? It's right here.
Want to know the real relationship between Jesus (Joshua) and Mary Magdeline or how he was able to write the beatitudes (blessed are the dumbf*cks, let's give them a fruit basket) or why he wasn’t creeped out at the thought of touching lepers.
All here.
Why are Easter and Bunnies eternally linked? Can you teach an elephant yoga? What is the creature that roams the Himalayas? Where did blond jokes come from?
Yes... all these answers can be yours.
The story is told in the first person narrative of Joshua's best friend since childhood, Levi (known as Biff) and can be divided into roughly 3 segments 1) The Early Years 2) The Travellin' Years 3) The Gospel Years
Biff is outspoken, a class clown, a wise a$$... one of those guys that are fun to be around in short doses.
Few people truly love him. One is Joshua and one is Mary Magdeline.
Most others think he's pretty much a jerk and he ends up getting written out of the Bible because of it.
He is resurrected in modern times by an Angel of God and sequestered in a hotel room for the express purpose of writing a follow up gospel. A first person point of view of the life of Christ.
This is the main plot of the story. From about the age of 5, Joshua struggles with the concept of his divinity, in a very real and funny way. He knows who he is, but not why, or what he's supposed to be able to achieve. He has too many questions and no answers.
What's with this whole “bringing things back to life” concept and why does he suck so bad at it?
Finally, when he reaches his early teens he realizes that to find out the why and the what he will need to track down the 3 Wise Men that arrived at his birth.
They have set themselves up as spiritual leaders for different faiths and Josh must travel farther and farther east, learning what he can from each.
Biff chooses to go with him. Mary M is getting hitched to a jerk, his village idiot career is at a stand still because he can't lick his own balls and he views his friend Josh as a sucker who can be easily taken advantage of, and who therefore must be protected.
They find the three magi, and Joshua spends years with each one, learning enlightenment and incorporating their beliefs in to his, creating one all encompassing faith, a faith that answers all questions for all people.
Biff spends his time learning how to prolong an orgasm and how to blow sh*t up.
Upon their return home, 20 years later, Joshua with the help of Biff starts putting what he learned in to practice and begins his teachings, pulling his disciples from the gullible, the downtrodden, the stupid and the just plain crazy.
Possibly the smartest disciple he has (next to Biff) is the former village idiot.
The final segment of this book “The Gospel Years”, moves quickly because we already know the story. It focuses more on the “behind the scenes” aspects of his teachings. How they wrote the Sermon on the Mount and the lengths that Biff and Mary went to trying to save Joshua's life
The sub plot of the story is Biff in the Hotel under Angelic house arrest.
He gets his hands on a bible and grows more and more frustrated reading the gospels. Where is his name in all this? Who the hell are these guys? Why have they got so much wrong?
Why is the Angel of the Lord such a dumb a$$?
This book is not about Jesus. Yes he is a major character and it's his adventures that spur the story along, but the book itself is about Biff and about friendship.
How much pain or pleasure are you willing to experience for the closest person to you're heart.
Would you give up the woman you love? Your Life? Eternal Damnation?
How painful would it be if you lost this person?
One of the 10 best books I've ever read and Christopher Moore's strongest piece to date.
The only book that I've read cover to cover twice in a row.
If you aren't afraid to look stupid from laughing out loud while on the subway, then this book is a must.
It has a scatter-gun approach to humor. If it misses you on one one level, it’s sure to hit you on another. At the same time it pulls at all your other emotions as well
Once I read it a second time, I lent it to an associate of mine and then went out and bought everything Christopher Moore had ever written.
He finished it and went and bought everything by Moore. This happened twice more. 5 or 6 of us here have read it and it's on the top 10 list for us all.
When I finally got it back, I read it a third time and have since read it a fourth.
It's a story you will never want to end.
More By Moore:
Fool
You Suck: A Love Story
A Dirty Job
Fluke: Or Now I Know Why The Winged Whale Sings
Lamb: The Gospel According To Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
Island Of The Sequined Love Nun
Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story
Coyote Blue
Practical Demonkeeping: A Comedy Of Horrors
Recommended:
Yes
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shmoo1
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Location: Milton On. Canada
Reviews written: 103
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About Me:Vote Kingfish/ Shmoo in 2012 'Cuz A Shmoo In The Hand...
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