Relapse, Eminem’s latest album, opens with the protagonist, after an extended period of inactivity and drug dependence, embarking upon a path of rejuvenation and sobriety, which is a fitting metaphor for what Eminem’s life had become the last five years. His last album, 2004’s Encore, was depressingly mediocre. His best friend, Proof, lost his life in a senseless club shooting in 2006. And, thankfully, he finally pulled the plug on his unhealthy relationship with his longtime partner, Kim. All these professional and personal travails undoubtedly pounded Eminem into an abyss of Michael Jackson-esque reclusion, as he reportedly packed on the pounds and plunged into a sea of prescription pills. And meanwhile, the rap world outside his Detroit castle was self-destructing -- no thanks to lyrically inept and creatively bankrupt dilettantes coupled with consequent plummeting album sales -- with the only glimmer being the astronomical sales of disposable ringtones.
Well, have no fear: Shady’s back, tell a friend -- or better yet, tell them all. Relapse brings Eminem’s self-exile to a close, the now-sober (and formerly blond) Superman of rap returning to save the genre from its self-immolation. But sadly, this is far from a Mama Said Knock You Out -- or heck, even a Kingdom Come. If anything, Relapse is emblematic of the traits that were not acceptable before -- even in Em’s best work -- and are certainly even less acceptable now.
By now, it is common knowledge that Em’s first singles -- awfully sugary pop confections -- are hardly indicative of the quality of the albums from which they are spawned. But what were once passable (think “My Name Is” and “The Real Slim Shady”) have now become putrid (think “Without Me” and “Just Lose It”). And Em hits a new low with “We Made You”, a forced, jingling mess comprising a game of catch-up as he flings barbs at the pop culture figures raising hell in his five-year absence: Jessica Simpson, Kim Kardashian, Lindsey Lohan…I mean, it’s a five-minute cram-fest. And what is as pathetic as the name dropping is the notion that Em has gotten way too comfortable with picking on soft, easy targets. In “Bagpipes from Baghdad”, it’s Mariah Carey and her husband Nick Cannon: one, a decidedly passive songstress; the other, a part-time rapper with barely a thousandth of his talent. (Okay, fine, admittedly, Em channeling a resurrected Christopher Reeve in “Medicine Ball” is hilarious -- a little.)
Someone get Canibus to re-launch a lyrical onslaught.
Truth is, no longer is Eminem’s shock tactics, well, shocking, because that is what the average fan expects from him. There’s the incest (“Insane”), the jerking-off to Hannah Montana amongst other unspeakable acts (“3 A.M.”), the yet another stink bomb flung at his (now-cancer-riddled) mother (“My Mom”), and so on and so on. It’s old. It’s tired. It’s disjointed and random. And it gets dated -- almost as soon as such tracks wheeze by, a main problem that tarnishes otherwise remarkable earlier efforts like The Slim Shady LP and The Marshall Mathers LP.
On the bright side, though, there’s barely a word, if at all, about Kim.
And then there are other flaws -- less notable, yet recurrent. True, Eminem has never been the strongest hook writer in the world, but here, hardly anything sticks. At over 70 minutes -- the average length for an Eminem LP post-SSLP (this one’s 76) -- he really needs to work on his album editing skills. And what is up with that annoying, on-then-off-then-on-again faux West Indian accent?
But allow me to switch from the wordsmith to the beatsmith. That’s right: Mentor and longtime collaborator Dr. Dre virtually produces the whole Relapse album himself. Why, the last time he did such a thing for anyone, it was for this tall lanky kid with French braids who loved to sip on gin ‘n’ juice (read: 1993’s Doggystyle)! So sonically, how does Relapse fare? Well, at best, it is pretty much a mixed bag: pleasant but perfunctory. “3 A.M.” is fittingly gothic for Em to unleash couplets of murderous mayhem, “Medicine Ball” thunderously crackles and stomps, and “Bagpipes from Baghdad” thumps with Arabic aplomp. Indeed, there really isn’t an awful beat throughout the album.
However, there isn’t exactly anything that dazzles, either. Rather disturbing, this is, as Dre has barely been doing that post-“In da Club,” hinting that the legendary producer has long past his prime. In fact, some of the beats are so shockingly spartan. Dre has never been a good minimalist, and while he was able to get away with it with Eminem’s first two major-debut albums (and to a lesser degree, his own 2001 album), the stripped-down beats in Relapse have the trademark crisp sans the trademark soulful thump. Songs like “Insane”, “Hello”, “Same Song and Dance”, and “Must Be the Ganja” just plod along with the bland personality of Pro Tools loops. Even the better ones, like “Old Time’s Sake” (Dre joins in the rapping here) and -- oh goodness -- the #1 hit, “Crack a Bottle” (which places pedestrian Em lyrics alongside equally pedestrian lyrics from Dre and 50 Cent), pale in comparison to earlier club bangers. Does anyone need any more reasons why the feverish anticipation for the long-delayed Detox has now drastically simmered down?
Ah, but don’t be fooled: Eminem is still a rather lethal MC. Sure, the rhymes are no longer as intricately structured, but it would take deep repeated listens to notice that, not to mention that in songs like “Stay Wide Awake” and “Underground”, Em exhibits his knack for varying his flow to the beat. (The latter is particularly superhuman, for most emcees alive would be stumbling over “Underground”’s irregular drum patterns). Plus, Em still remains the greatest practitioner of assonance in hip-hop history -- repeating and compounding identical or similar vowel sounds with spellbinding speed, and altering pronunciation to make words that don’t rhyme…rhyme. Such uncanny ability is demonstrated throughout the disc, but allow me to share a snippet or two from “3 A.M.”: “You’re walking down a horror corridor/It’s almost 4 in the morning and you’re in a/Nightmare, it’s horrible/Right there’s the coroner/Waiting for ya ta turn the corner so that he can corner ya/You’re a goner, he onto ya!” Geee-zuz!
Good luck, though, finding a standout track or two that can compare to earlier efforts like “The Way I Am,” “Stan,” “Lose Yourself,” or…heck, even Encore had “Yellow Brick Road.” “Déjà Vu” chronicles Em’s seemingly losing battle with drug dependency, but it just lacks the resonance for it to soar with its older brethren; and “Beautiful”, while a generally terrific six-minute Queen Rodgers-sampling opus of perseverance, feels like an inferior retread of “Sing for the Moment,” not to mention that it feels somewhat hackneyed with the whole “put-yourself-in-my-shoes” theme. Inexplicably, a pair of superior songs -- “My Darling” (a sort of sequel to The Slim Shady EP intro comprising his inner-demon struggles) and “Careful What You Wish For" (a better outtake, lyrically and sonically, on his fight with his addictions) -- are left out, instead only available if one purchases the album from Eminem’s website. What on earth was he thinking?
The penultimate album track sums up the entire enterprise best, as his lawyer Steve Berman mocks Relapse’s premise: Em’s filthy rich, and yet he’s so unhappy, with this drug addiction and rehabilitation and tragic love life and all. Boo-hoo freakin’ hoo! I mean, when does this sob story give way to a much happier one -- or just something different?
And that’s what leads me to believe that Relapse is arguably Eminem’s weakest effort yet. This is definitely a “relapse” all right: Eminem is deteriorating even further, yet to find and execute a different game plan. At this point, jaded fanboys need to cut the stannery and criticize their withering hero for the very same vices they accuse other mainstream rappers of doing. A lesser wordsmith would normally get a little more leeway from yours truly. But for cripes’ sakes, this is Eminem we are talking about here, one of the rapping greats, still doing that same (stale) song & dance -- at the age of 36, in album number six?!? Screw a relapse; this guy needs a rejuvenation. ASAP.
TRACK LISTING:
1. Dr. West (Intro) 2. 3 A.M. 3. My Mom 4. Insane 5. Bagpipes from Baghdad 6. Hello 7. Tonya (Skit) 8. Same Song & Dance 9. We Made You 10. Medicine Ball 11. Paul (Skit) 12. Stay Wide Awake 13. Old Time’s Sake 14. Must Be the Ganja 15. Mr. Mathers 16. Déjà Vu 17. Beautiful 18. Crack a Bottle 19. Steve Berman (Skit) 20. Underground 21. My Darling * 22. Careful What You Wish For *
* Bonus tracks – available only through Eminem’s website. Sucks.
Anticipation for Relapse has been building since fall 2008, when Eminem first announced the album title and debuted the freestyle, I m Having a Relaps...More at Buy.com
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