icemancm's Full Review: Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance a...
Simply put-- this book explains it all with great flair! Ok, ok, before you all start going "WHOA, what's gotten into Iceman now???" let me just briefly touch base on a few things about BDSM....
ONE: It's not for everyone, but I do believe that EVERYONE could learn a few things from this book... if only to better understand how relationships could improve. Let me try to explain; Dominant/submissive or D/s, as it is called, is a relationship based upon a power exchange... one person WILLINGLY gives the power to another, submitting to him or her, if you will. The fact of the matter is, there is a HIGHER amount of RESPECT, COMMUNICATION, and HONESTY in a D/s relationship than in a regular one. It's REQUIRED!! Why is it required?
Because, if there isn't any respect, for either the submissive partner OR the Dominant partner, then the relationship is no longer THERE. It simply cannot be possible. The submissive, if he or she, and I stress here, CHOOSES to give their gift of submissiveness to the Dom or Domme(*as the Dominant is called, the male and female version*), and they don't RESPECT the Dom/me, then it simply doesn't exist. Neither does it exist if the Dominant doesn't RESPECT the submissive. The respect is CRUCIAL for the D/s relationship, otherwise, it is doomed to fail. Respect comes into play for when a safe word is needed... a safe word is a word that is agreed upon by both the Dominant and the submissive for when they are in a scene, or a sort of sex play, if you will. If the submissive uses the safe word, then the Dominant is to RESPECT that, for the safe word means that the submissive's boundaries has been crossed and that he or she wishes for the scene to stop.
Communication is also important!! The Dominant is expected, nay, REQUIRED... to communicate fully with the submissive to find out what his or her limits may be.... be it humiliation, hoods, whips, or whatever they do not like to be involved in. The submissive is also required to know what the Dominant is interested in. Communication is very important in a D/s relationship; so important, indeed, that the relationship could not stand without it. A D/s relationship is, I think, MUCH more intimate than a regular relationship, or vanilla relationship, as it is called. The level of communication makes it that way.
Honesty is another reason-- You simply cannot LIE about anything; the power exchange between the Dominant and the submissive will cease to exist if one or the other is not honest about their wants and needs as far as the relationship goes. The same can be said for vanilla relationships as well!
This book explains all this, in a LOT more detail than I could ever write here.... in a very clear, concise way, the authors point out the mind frames of both the Dominant and the submissive; explaining what is expected and what is a no-no for both! The authors also explains with examples what may happen if these basic ingredients for the D/s relationships aren't met.
However, I do know that this is NOT for everyone; nor do I expect everyone to be interested in this! But at the same time, I do believe that people who DO run across this book could gain some insights on how to make a relationship better! Also, I wish to stress a point here-- D/s relationships can be 24/7, or they can just be for certain situations.... I mean, how many of you have simply let the other person do what they want between the sheets from time to time, like oh, say, tying you up? That is part of the power exchange that the authors are talking about.... you MIGHT be surprised by what you may learn from this book. I believe, in my humble opinion, that this book is the BIBLE, so to speak, of the BDSM community. =)
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns will tell you all about sadomasochism. We made it light-hearted and fun to read because SM is fun to do. That's wh...More at HotBookSale
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns will tell you all about sadomasochism. We made it light-hearted and fun to read because SM is fun to do. That's wh...More at HotBookSale
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