jankp's Full Review: Thomas Moore - Soul Mates: Honoring the Mysteries ...
I've read many of Thomas Moore's amazing books on the ways to recognize and nurture soul in your everyday life. His book, Care For The Soul (why didn't I review it?!) was a bestseller for a long time and his following books, such as The Soul of Sex and Soul Mates, are books I literally treasure. I have read them all twice and keep finding the wisdom in them helpful and exciting. Since I've already reviewed The Soul of Sex, let me tell you about the 1994 book, Soul Mates: Honoring The Mysteries of Love and Relationship.
Why You Should Read Soul Mates
If you think you know who can be a soul mate, then you may be wrong. I was until I read Moore's book. I thought it meant your romantic companion, the one who finishes your sentences and believes you are the only one for him or her. Now I realize that a soul mate is anyone who helps you be in touch with your soul or who you are. They can be best friends you know all your life or a friend you've just made and may never see again. They can be family members or people of any age, culture, religion.
What is needed is the desire to honor the soul of the other person. The book goes into many ways we can do this to express our intimacy rather than the ability to communicate logically or emotionally. A soul mate understands the meaning behind your words and doesn't even need to engage in talk all the time. You both realize there's a deeper connection drawing you together.
Moore also addresses the need for soulful community or "a profound conviviality in society and among nations." We could desperately use his ideas for doing this, couldn't we?
How It Helps Us
Moore helps us to realize that it is through the emotional upheavals and pains of a relationship with a friend, lover or family that our soul is nurtured. Divorce, separations, any kind of conflict or jealousies and traumatic events all create humus for two souls to grow and mature in, but perhaps not together. It certainly makes the case for the happiest couples being the ones who fight things out and don't slide into divorce quietly.
Throughout his books Moore uses examples from the gods and goddesses of Greek and Roman mythology to help us understand how we engage in soulful relationships. He also speaks from his twelve-year experience as a Catholic monk and his choice of writers who inspire his thoughts on the mystery of love and soul reflect a Catholic education, besides Emily Dickinson, Sufi mystics and other Native American folktales than those found in his other works. He has never enjoyed the repression of sexuality or moralism that he was taught. The soul, he believes, must not be denied its need for intimate imagination, whether or not it attracts or disturbs us. Soul mates share dreams and reflections on life to not so much understand the soul's journey, but to appreciate the truths it reveals about us.
What Soul Mates Do
I really enjoyed his description of how to nourish a soul mate relationship. Intimate conversation that has you laughing and crying is a great way to do it. So is writing a letter and mailing it. Email isn't as thoughtful, nor is it sealed intimately in an envelope with a stamp. I remember that now whenever I want to surprise my soul mate. They share memories from the past, good and bad, to fine tune intimacy so much better than only sharing the moment, which cannot be reflected on for insight. Perhaps dreams of the night as well as of the day will infuse their relationship.
In Conclusion
Thomas Moore presents in 260 lyrically-written pages a well-balanced discussion of how to be in relationship with your God, soul, spirit and people you love. I haven't read other books about soul mates because Moore tastefully covers everything I need and want to know without being boring, abstruse or patronizing. I cherish his books as I've mentioned. You will not be disappointed in any of them and will probably become much more in touch with your soul and soul mates.
Contents
Preface
Introduction
The Soul In Love
1) Attachment and Flight
2) The Mystery of Intimacy
Intermingled Souls
1) The Magic and Alchemy of Marriage
2) The Family of the Soul
3) Friendship and Community
The Intimate Imagination
1) Conversations and Letters
2) Creative Illusions in Romantic Love
3) Sex and Imagination
Shadows of Intimacy
1) Endings
2) Pathologies of Love
Pleasures of Soul Mates
1) The Soulful Relationship
Epilogue: Relationship as Grace
This penchant of the soul for the complications of life plays a role in personal relationships, our ultimate theme in this book. Relatedness means staying in life, even when it becomes complicated and when meaning and clarity are elusive. It means living with the particular individuals who come into our lives, and not only with our ideals and images of the perfect mate or the perfect family. (Pp 5)
*Note* I revised this three-year old review that does not show up in search. I hope it will now! This is my first entry into DavidMac's and my write-off, Calling All Souls, dedicated to Surgrn911 who graces every relationship she's in, I have no doubt. Please get well soon, Di. Already five epinioners have posted their thoughts on soul mates and links can be found at DavidMac's or my profile pages. I hope some of you will be inspired to join since there are five pages of unreviewed books about soul mates.
Other Thomas Moore books I've reviewed and highly recommended:
In Care of the Soul, Thomas Moore explored the importance of nurturing the soul and struck a chord nationwide -- the book became a long-term bestselle...More at Christianbook.com
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