jankp's Full Review: Thomas Moore - The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life A...
Sex is the most important and telling barometer of what's going on in our soul, according to the former monk, author Thomas Moore. He led a celibate life gladly for a dozen years and yet he never lost his passion for the sexual nature of life. That means more than wanting sex, though. He lived then and lives now with his wife an Epicurean life, life dedicated to finding ways that are pleasing to all his senses, needs, desires, thoughts, imaginings. He believes our moralistic, yet sex-obsessed society is sexually immature and needs to be grounded in the same Epicurean philosophy.
Moore explains his theory on why we are sex-obsessed. Religion has made us a moralistic society which represses sexual expression and identity, encouraging us to deny being sexual beings. He stresses that instead sex is a healthy act of our soul. It blends together the body and spirit by letting us physically connect as well as transport us of our physical awareness into spiritual awareness. The soul is the bridge that does this and that is why sex is an act of soul. Of course we can damage our souls with one night stands, even if we deny it, or we can help our souls be expressive and beautiful by being with one sexual partner, a mate who we are best friends with.
There is so much about this book that I could talk about, like the need for a mystery lover which can lead to obsession with pornography and secret sexual practices we pay for if denied. A mystery lover is simply who we fantasize about because our soul is trying to tell us what we need or want, but are denying yourself. It doesn't mean we need another lover, but a new way of expressing love to them and being more intimate with who we are. So relax if there are strange lovers in our dreams. We need to be less moralistic and live with more freedom. Sex is not bad. It's an act of the soul that will bring us more life and love than anything else.
One more thing I learned from Moore. Affection is good, but it can become cloying and sentimental. That's not soul sex. We need to express ourselves even if it's anger and our relationships will be more passionate, too. We can't always be affectionate, but most of the time we will be able to laugh and talk and cuddle before, during and after. This is not a sex manual, however, with tips for better sex or relationships. It can change our perspective of sex like mine was helped in new ways every time reading it (twice read so far)! Enjoy...
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