Jump for chump chicks
Written: Jan 30 '00 (Updated Jan 30 '00)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Yet more entertainment for the Britney Spears set
Cons: Shamelessly ill-informed, poorly written, trying to be something it's not, and, well, too much make-up
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| kmennie's Full Review: Jump Magazine |
Sadly -- very much so -- this is yet another up there in the pantheon of Teen, YM, the current Sassy, et al. Heaven knows why people get their knickers all knotted up over the supposed bad influence of Barbie dolls when girls hitting the post-Barbie stage are getting their how-to-be-a-bimbo printed out for them in plain language.
Jump promotes itself as being "for girls who dare to be real," but this is about as shallow and meaningless as the promises made by the acne preparations advertised within its pages. One article on boosting self-esteem doesn't excuse an entire magazine of how to be pretty, how to dress, and how to get (and keep) a boyfriend.
Weird feature: Jump carries the "Dr Drew" franchise. I have yet to read, see or hear a "Dr Drew" bit of advice that was really on target; the guy is simply carried along by his sidekick Adam. One issue featured a surreal response to a girl who was worried about somebody who was stalking her: she must have been doing something to encourage it, said Drew. ?Que? An advice column from a doctor who doesn't dispense very good advice, and whose doctoring skills are questionable as well -- this month has a girl asking why her hands and feet are frequently cold. Even "Dear Abby" would probably come up with the possibility of Raynaud's Syndrome, but Drew thinks the hapless girl probably just needs more exercise.
Another advice column suggests that you should "seal in moisture" after shaving your legs with "an essential oil, like lavender." Somebody is screaming in pain and out a fair bit of money; any idiot reader of women's magazines or similar knows you don't generally use undiluted essential oils topically like that.
This is awfully picky for a few errant responses, yes, but Jump is littered with bad advice -- and it's doling it out to an age group that isn't entirely likely to know any better. This is irresponsible and completely inexcusable.
Most of the rest of the magazine is the usual teen girl papfest: all manner of insipid pop-psych quizzes (sure, they're fun, but Jump has unusually meaningless and fluffy ones), teen-oriented celebrities of the minute, skanky clothing, and a bizarre amount of bizarre make-up advice. Apparently, 'daring to be real' involves a great deal of body glitter, and quite a lot of other expensive cosmetics.
Adding insult to injury, the writing is worse than -- well, it's even worse than this review, since I didn't insult anybody's intelligence by using the word "crapola," or calling a bra a "boob booster."
I have to give this the lowest rating possible -- it would maybe hit a three if it was more run-of-the-mill, but its three main flaws -- "real" equaling piling on cosmetics, pretending to be something it isn't, and absurdly, dangerously bad advice -- make it so unforgivable that I don't really have anything nice to say about Jump. If you subscribe, write and say you can't take advice from a magazine that wants you to slap undiluted essential oil on just-shaved legs, and you want your money back. If you don't subscribe, well...good. This magazine isn't doing anybody any favours, and paranoid parents should take note that this sort of slut-it-up-for-the-boyz dreck is far more damaging than any Barbie doll ever was.
Recommended:
No
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Epinions.com ID:
kmennie
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Member: K.M. Mennie
Location: Five cities in one year! Ha!
Reviews written: 380
Trusted by: 405 members
About Me:
Hopeless case: thorough knowledge of Victorian Domestic Science, Comparative Literature, Lego...and even worse stuff.
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