PLAYBOY, I read it for the articles, OH, and the NAKED WOMEN
Yeah, and if you believe that nonsense from ANYONE, I have a bridge you can buy, and you can even put up your own toll booth and make money from it.
What's up with Playboy, or better yet, what's up when thumbing through Playboy?
This is a magazine which wastes pages with words. Does anyone actually read them? I doubt it. Unless you are really bored, or spent, as it were, you don't buy the magazine for the articles.
Being a big huge fan of the feminine form, I have perused the pages of Playboy once or twice in my life. For the articles, of course, get your mind out of the gutter! I wouldn't get it to look at pictures of naked ladies! I can do that on line for nothing. So, instead, I get it for the articles.
Some of the overly insightful and entertaining articles are as follows:
DRINK OF THE MONTH
This coming issues' (June) is from the super nearby city, and home of the greatest team in Baseball, BOSTON. It is from a bar called The Modern the drink is described as: an irresistible combination of peach schnapps, champagne, orange juice and a splash of Seven-Up. It is named: the Hugh Hefner. Gee, I wonder how come they chose that drink for the drink of the month? See, I pay great attention to detail. Told you I read it for the articles.
MISS: WHATEVER MONTH IT HAPPENS TO BE
Of course, I don't look at the pictures, I read Playboy for the articles. June's naked woman is: Shannon Stewart. Aside from her having the same name as a male professional baseball player, which I find somewhat disturbing, Shannon is the perfect mix of small town and big city. Shannon answers all sorts of silly questions such as, Hey Shannon- how did a smart girl like you end up naked for the entire world to see? "I had come out to LA for a modeling job, and it fell through. I was ready to go home and let the whole modeling thing go. I was going to go to school, get my degree in animal behavior and work at a zoo or something. And then a friend said I shouldn't go home until I gave Playboy a shot."
Some friend. If I weren't reading this for the articles I might have seen your boobies! You best be careful Shannon, never know when pictures like that will be distributed widely across the country. You're only 22!? WOW, I'm feeling old. Must be all the reading I have been doing.
20 Questions
More of that great journalistic probing I have come to expect from Playboy. Now if it weren't for those dang pictures, they could maybe go to 35 questions! This Junes' contestant on 20 questions is 70 something year old James Coburn. Obviously a peer of Hugh Hefner. Talk about old school. He is described as "the icon of cool". I think I missed that article on defining coolness. I better be more careful and pay less attention to...
INTERVIEW
This is just like it sounds. A Q&A (No, I didn't say T&A)with someone, or someone's, famous. This coming issue has Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Yes, creators of South Park. So all you South Park fans run out and buy PLAYBOY, for the articles on Trey and Matt, of course.
FICTION
This is about guys who get Playboy for the pictures. We all know guys get it for the articles. Fictional stories, Or are they? Good one about a therapist coming this month. Of course it has to do with sex. We read sex articles too.
Reviews
Like Epinions, only with far less abuse.
Movies with Leonard Maltin. I learned never trust Leonard Maltin, from his articles, of course. Videos, Music and Book reviews are here also. Not by Leonard Maltin. Good thing. Good articles, skip past those pictures of the poor women who can't afford clothes to get to these articles!
Advisor
Yes, the advice column, Playboy style. Follow the advice, and the only naked women you will look at will be in the magazine. But read this article anyway, just to remind yourself how little common sense is out there.
PARTY JOKES
Did you hear the one about the guy who read Playboy for the articles? Yeah, he went blind! HAHAHAHAHA
After Hours: ONE MAN'S DATE BOOK
This article gives out compliments, or Props (if you will), to a recent book. This time it is about a guy who collected naked pictures of all his ex's. Put them into a book, published them and dedicated the book to his wife. Yes, he actually got permission from the ex-girlfriends. That's one strange circle of girls he was dating.
FORUM
No, not like the Penthouse Forum, this is an area where someone can publish some sort of article. Articles are what keeps this magazine selling. It's why guys buy the magazine.
Wired
Some silly electronic device. Boring article. I'd rather look at Naked Women.
Living OnLine
Not about Epinions. This time it is about Mp3 files and what they are. Geez! Like we all don't know what those are! Thanks for the hot tips! With more articles like that, I think I'll look at Naked Women.
Next Month
It tells you what's coming (no pun intended) next month.
Wait a sec.- Jennifer Lopez in July?!? I'll be Waiting for Tonight When that one comes out!
FEATURES
All sorts of great ARTICLES! Actually, these articles tend to be pretty lame. Naked Pictures of women are far better. But since there are more articles still, I'd read those. Of note, is the article in JUNE about the guy from the AMERITRADE commercials- Stewart. Wait a minute, wasn't the First Naked Girl named Stewart also? I think I see a trend here.
There is also, Rules for the Perfect Relationship in June, and how you should break all the rules.
Oh, I ran out of Articles.
Another Naked Woman!
This time it is Carre Otis. 31 years young and not looking at all like the 170 pound heroin addict she once was. Because of the article, of course, I had to look at the pictures to see what a former heroin addict looked like. I didn't know giving up Heroin led to your clothes falling off. I heard about it leaving tracks, but this was news to me. Missed that article.
So, that's about all there is to Playboy
In closing I'd like to leave you with a few things I can't figure out, and I welcome your comments if you can help me figure them out.
Hugh Heffner, what is up with that guy??
Hugh currently has at least 5 "girlfriends" who he "dates" reguarly, he is like 80 years old! What is up with that? He is apparently having sex with these 20 something year old girls.
He is this old wrinkled guy. They are beautiful women. Am I missing something?
I have heard a few things from women, and I've read Cosmo for some insight, and I found out that mostly, women like muscles, well developed guys. Now I'm for sure no cut and sculpted guy, but I'm not old and wrinkly, or fat and jiggly. But these women dig the saggy man?
I don't get it? It is actually something that makes me seriously confused.
Do they sleep with the guy because they want the notoriety? The money? What is it?
I would like to think more of society and these beautiful actresses that they can make it on talent alone, and not because of who they are riding in bed.
Geez, I mean seriously. Is Hugh Heffner awesome in bed or something?
The old guy walks around with a pipe and a robe all the time!
I sat around in my Jammies all day yesterday. Nothing special happened.
Perhaps I need a robe.
It's gotta be the robe.
Chicks dig the robe.
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