Are you feeling guilty? Bummed out about sin? Wanting desperately to believe but feeling so far from God? Or are the personal details of your spiritual life none of my business, and you're simply looking for an honest, simple, quality slab of Christian rock? If you answered yes to any of those questions, then Gotee Records has the album for you!
Okay, enough with the commercial. There's no denying that Jennifer Knapp, the young guitar-slinging songstress from Kansas, hit a gold mine when her 1997 debut (named for her home state) hit Christian music stores. She showed up apparently out of nowhere, swooping in with the gritty hit single "Undo Me" and an opening slot on Audio Adrenaline's "Zombie Tour" - just Jennifer and a guitar, and audiences were transfixed. I personally didn't understand what all the hype was at first. Her first few singles struck me as typical meat-and-potatoes rock tracks, nothing all that ordinary. Perhaps I had overloaded on Christian chick-rock albums at the time (Plumb, Miss Angie, Christine Glass, etc.), and Jennifer's sound and lyrical style didn't strike me as unique enough to stand out. I didn't fully realize how odd it was for this white girl from the Midwest to get signed to a record label started mainly as an avenue for Christian hip-hop and R&B. But a good friend who was into dc Talk (whose founding member Toby MacKeehan started up Gotee Records in 1994) likely figured that whatever was good for Toby was good for him. Once this CD showed up in his collection, it spread like wildfire - through our circle of friends and through Christendom in general.
The back story on Jennifer is that she's a relatively new Christian (or at least was when this album was recorded) - she converted in college and used her musical skills to write simple songs summing up the things she was learning and putting her thoughts and questions about God into her own words. What's so new about that? We've heard Christian musicians churning out Biblical jargon for years on end. The difference is that Jennifer's newness to the faith gives her a real honesty and vitality not found in some of the most seasoned Christian rock acts. She isn't quoting, she's living out what she's reading, grappling with it, applying it to her own life, letting her struggles speak for themselves instead of sermonizing. Perhaps such a straightforward approach wouldn't have worked - but it came along at a time when Christian music really needed it. Kansas became a bona fide classic, thrusting Jennifer rather uneasily into the limelight reserved for veteran Christian artists within a year or so. Perhaps Jennifer didn't expect so many people to relate to what she was going through, but for many people, myself included, the songs on Kansas (one of few albums deserving its status as a staple of Christian hit radio) spoke to us when we were downtrodden by guilt, doubt, and injustice. Jennifer won us over without saying anything new - the sentiments and sometimes the exact phrases can be traced back to troubled sinners such as King David and the Apostle Paul.
Prelude (Faithful to Me) All the chisels I've dulled carving idols of stone
That have crumbled like sand 'neath the waves...
The album opens with an echoing wash of voices fading in and finally centralizing on Jennifer, all by herself with no instruments. She sings a fragment of this simple praise song that she wrote for her indie album Wishing Well as a bookend for the record - something about its observation of the futility of seeking security in anything other than God makes it seem like this should have been a hymn from the olden days. The chorus transitions nicely into the first full song.
Whole Again It's all my fault, I sit and wallow in seclusion
As if I had no hope at all
I guess truth becomes You, I have seen it all in motion
That pride comes before a fall...
The drums kick in right on cue, and we are introduced to Jennifer's earthy style - very acoustic guitar-dominated, with plenty of breathing room for the drums, vocals, and other instruments without dampening any of Jennifer's passion - almost a live band setting. This is a mid-tempo track - one of Jennifer's most popular tunes, even if it isn't one of my personal favorites. Jennifer approaches God with a prayer of repentance in very intimate, childlike terms, asking "Daddy" if she can still sit on His knee. Right away, we become aware of two things - the very personal and informal nature of Jennifer's relationship to God, and the ease with which she breaks down theological concepts into common sense, everyday language. The now-classic chorus gives Jennifer's earthy but lovely voice a chance to soar: "If I give my life, If I lay it down, can You turn this world around?" This request for intimate time spent with God provides a good prologue to the sin and despair that Jennifer will confess to as the album unfolds.
Undo Me Brother, I know you labored so hard to please
But I cut you down and I left you on your knees...
Jennifer's first smash hit is a jamming guitar track - definitely very raw and almost jerky at first, but also very captivating once you understand what Jennifer is singing about. The song is an open letter of sorts to several people Jennifer has hurt - accidentally or purposefully. She feels the weight of these unrecognized relationships, and realizes that these are the sins Jesus went to the cross for. Jennifer has a good grasp on Paul's concept of being "the worst of sinners", I think, and her gritty vocals definitely provide the appropriate vehicle for her guilt, even if they caused some people to make the unfounded complaint that she was an "Alanis wannabe". Jennifer's plea is for God to "undo" her - to remove her own will and graft in His own, so that she will no longer hurt these people. The ending of the song is abrupt and slightly unresolved, yet it leads satisfying into the next track.
Trinity Blessed be the God who never turned His back on me
Hid His face from all my sin and forgot my iniquity...
This song is a slow and smooth prayer, almost a stream of consciousness, repeating several distinct melody lines but not containing an official chorus. Jennifer has explained this one as an early attempt to wrap a lot of the different Bible verses that meant something to her into a single song - a psalm, if you will. It starts with soft, almost tribal drums, and the percussion remains light throughout, offset by the tension of Jennifer's strumming. Jennifer's voice is quite lovely on this one as she pleas against the injustice of sin - among the people of the nation and within herself. Very much like King David, she laments that men have "Their minds, their conscience defiled", but then examines herself, asking "But do I stand on the rock or in the sand?" She later addresses the Holy Spirit, who understands her "groanings" (it seems like an odd and unpleasant word, but that's also a Biblical reference to the feelings we just can't put into words). Some light strings add feeling to the song, though I do have to caution any U2 fans - the tempo and structure of the song feel dangerously close to "All I Want Is You" on more than one occasion.
In the Name You can hold on to your philosophy
What's mine is mine, what's yours is yours
But what's the truth?
A fun, upbeat tempo takes over on this tune, a musical reworking of the old hymn "Some may trust in horses, and some may trust in chariots, but we will trust in the name of the Lord". It's a bouncy tune, to be sure, but earthy enough to evade being classified as "pop". Jennifer sings about some of the things men put their trust in - money, fame, the government, intellectualism, even luck, and how futile it all seems. Relativism gets a slap in the face during the chorus - "To each his own won't lead you home, and probably never will." Jennifer can sing stuff like that because she's likely learned it the hard way. Audio Adrenaline fans will want to listen carefully - Mark Stuart can be heard backing Jennifer up on the vocals. I believe this album was his first venture as a producer, but I could be wrong.
His Grace Is Sufficient In comes the light, it finds the stains on my hands
Because of my pride, I hide, I know He won't understand me
'Cause it's deeper than deep and it's wider than wide
Why did I ever doubt, now I'm dying inside...
Another strong drum beat keeps the tempo up, but this tune is less bouncy and more introspective. It deals with a vicious cycle of sin and guilt, constantly messing up and losing confidence in the concept of grace. It happens to a lot of Christians who deal with patterns of sin, and a lot of us tend to think we have to earn our way out when we fall in so deep. Jennifer boldly points out that searching "every mistake" and looking for "new regrets" doesn't lead to any consolation, only more stress and doubt. This is one of those songs that spoke very clearly to me when I was dealing with a lot of shame and low self-esteem during college, and it continues to have that effect on me three years later. Once again, Jennifer strums with authority during the chorus - she even pulls off a sweet false ending that kicks powerfully back into the song. Simple tricks, but effective ones.
Martyrs & Thieves A great fool in my life I have been
Have squandered 'til pallid and thin
Hung my head in shame and refused to take blame
For the darkness I know I've let win...
This track is a long acoustic ballad with a slight Celtic flair in certain places. Here, the raw edge normally found in Jennifer's voice is downplayed and she takes on a smoother quality, much like Natalie Merchant, or Leigh Nash (Sixpence None the Richer) in a lower octave. It's more of a folk story-song, and Jennifer faces her demons as her lilting voice floats along to the 3/4 rhythm, pleading for God to "turn on the light and reveal all the glory". She admits that being honest before God and before her fellow man is an incredibly difficult thing for her to do, but she knows that only good can come of that honesty. Once again, a great backdrop for personal confession. This album can't help but have that disarming effect on the listener. Jennifer employs a traditional folk music trick - ending the song with the same two lines she started with: "There's a place in the darkness that I used to cling to/It presses harsh hope against time." It makes for an interesting transition into the next song.
Romans I try to close my eyes like a child
Playing in a game of hide and seek
If I cannot see the Lord
I'm sure the Lord, He cannot see me...
Since this track starts off immediately with Jennifer's voice singing "Just when I think I've got it, it's gone!", it's easy to miss the transition between tracks after the last word that leaves "Martyrs & Thieves" hanging (no pun intended). From there, Jennifer's whole band dives in with an incredibly bouncy tune - probably the catchiest on the record. It's almost a hoedown, given that a joyous fiddle solo (which is tragically edited out when this song is played on the radio, making it almost as bad as any given Shania Twain radio edit) breaks in a few times, but the theme once again is sin, something dealt with frequently in the epistle for which the song is named. The classic question "Why do I do the things I don't want to do?" is tackled here, and even after Jennifer's bold confession in the last track, she finds herself still making futile attempts to hide from God here. Despite her failures, the joy inherent in the music is justified as Jennifer proclaims, "I don't have to be condemned/Jesus saved me from the laws of sin/If I fall, I'll try again." How many of us expect to commit that one sin that Jesus wouldn't forgive, or commit it more times than He's willing to forgive? Jennifer wants to snap us out of our misery and convince us that ain't gonna happen - God chooses love over law.
Refine Me You're my God and my Father
I've accepted Your Son
But my soul feels so empty now
What have I become?
This is another slow, percussion-less ballad - one of the first songs Jennifer ever recorded. Though this was never a radio single, it's one of the most popular tunes on the record, I think. It's very much a worship song, a song requesting for God to obliterate sin and make us pure. Jennifer acknowledges here that even as a committed Christian, she feels empty because of what she has done. Again, this is why Jennifer can get away with speaking the Christian lingo and still relate to a mass audience - she addresses a lot of those fears that "good Christians" think they shouldn't be having. A fiddle shows up here as well, this time more gently interwoven with Jennifer's guitar playing. It's a simple but pretty song.
Hold Me Now From glass alabaster, she poured out the depths of her soul
O foot of Christ, would You wait if her harlotries known?
This part of the album seemed to be a bit of a "lull" to me at first, but then this song began to get quite a bit of attention after its release as a radio single. It's a slow tune in 3/4, with an almost country bent to it, much like Carolyn Arends' "Seize the Day", though not as epic. The song is sung from the point of view of Mary Magdalene, the harlot who washed Jesus' feet with her hair in an astonishingly wasteful display that scandalized His followers. Jennifer likens her love for Christ to that of Mary, and you can really feel how personal this song is, how much Jennifer identifies with this character. The song addresses the others who stand around and label her as trash, unworthy of Jesus' presence, and Jesus calmly warns them not to "say My beloved is borrowed and used". It's a great portrait of what it feels like to have nothing and yet still give everything.
Visions The world is my Jordan, someday I'm gonna cross
Ain't no one gonna look and say this soul is lost...
The album ramps back up into a more mid-tempo mood here for Jennifer's final full song. This is probably the only song on the album that never quite made it to "classic" status, but it's still a good one. Jennifer looks ahead, pondering what God will do as history unfolds, wanting to play her part in it, her words sounding almost prophetic (and at times, treading similar ground as Rich Mullins' classic "Elijah"). She keeps with the theme of "Hold Me Now" as she acknowledges those who make fun of her for becoming a Christian, saying she's "much too demanding to want a better place than here". The odd thing about the song is how it morphs back and forth between 4/4 and 3/4. It took some getting used to at first. Still, it makes for a fitting benediction.
Faithful to Me (Reprise) All the pennies I've wasted in my wishing well
I have thrown like stones to the sea...
Jennifer finishes the album as she started it, with her little hymn in its entirety. Once again, there are no instruments - just her lovely voice - as everything comes full circle. The album ends on her last note, almost abruptly - no fanfare or grand finale. It really fits the simple nature of the album, and Jennifer's personality.
You can probably tell that I'm a bit too eager to just gush about Jennifer Knapp's music. I try to remain objective as a reviewer, but it's hard when an album has affected me so deeply, especially when it's an artist's debut. Jennifer wouldn't want to be considered a hero, but I look up to her simply because she's so honest, lamenting her sin and yet taking full confidence in grace at the same time. (Okay, it doesn't hurt that she's cute, she's young, and she knows how to rock. But we'll try to ignore that for now.) Jennifer has put out consistently good music since this album - 2000's Lay It Down, which was slow but wonderfully folksy and worshipful, and 2001's The Way I Am (to be released in November, I've heard the album already and it's an interesting departure, to say the least - I can't wait to review it!) - but this is the album fans still seem to connect with the most. Jennifer's managed to gain appeal beyond the Christian market on the basis of these songs - including spots on the Lilith fair. I can't quite figure that out, given how explicitly Christian all of these songs are, but if people are relating, I certainly won't complain - it means that people who don't even agree with Jennifer's beliefs are drawn to her honesty. But I'll stop gushing about her accomplishments, and you can go back and listen to these songs for yourself and decide, if you haven't already heard half of these songs a million times!
TRACK REVIEW SUMMARY Excellent: Undo Me, Romans, Trinity, His Grace Is Sufficient, Martyrs and Thieves, Faithful to Me (intro and reprise), Refine Me
Good: Whole Again, In the Name, Hold Me Now, Visions
Decent: NONE
Weak: NONE
Skippable: NONE
Website: http://www.jenniferknapp.com
Great Music to Play While: Learning to forgive yourself.
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