st3on1ey1baby's Full Review: To a Cool Person, Stay That Way by The Pimps
If you’re looking for a fun, high-energy album that touches on different musical styles like rock, rap, and funk – look elsewhere because To a Cool Person, Stay That Way… is not that album.
I should really be making my friend Steve buy me a cd, because we were at Best Buy one day perusing the cds and I stumbled upon a dilemma: buy the Pimps album, or Pimpadelic’s album. Because the Pimps have a song titled “Star Wars and Pancakes”, Steve suggested I buy that one (he likes his Star Wars). Note to self: do not make cd purchases on the advice of Steve.
So, I put this album in my cd player and immediately became angered that these guys have such a cool-lookin’ cd, cool name, and cool song names, yet fail to really deliver anything spectacular to back any of it up. The cd cover looks like a high school yearbook with the inscription “To a cool person, stay that way” (which I think is written in each and every one of MY yearbooks, so I thought it was funny), and the cd itself has yearbook photos on it that resemble every stoner in my 7th grade class (I swear that guy with the nappy mullet is Jimbo!). Anyways, so I expected something decent based on looks alone. I think this is a ploy by the record companies to get you to buy crap.
That was a while ago. Last summer to be exact. But I decided I always review stuff I like on epinions, so I should throw some reviews in here of stuff that I think you should stay away from. Maybe I can prevent someone else from purchasing this album on a whim… If only there had been a review in here sooner! I’d of saved $12.99
On to the tracks!
There are twelve songs on this cd, and I’d say two of them are decent. It’s not that the music is really bad, because it’s not. It’s just that, well the lead singer’s voice makes a huge difference in how well I will like a band, and the lead vocalist for the Pimps sounds like a smoothed-over Wolfman Jack impersonator. He does nothing for me, except irritate me with his voice when he tries to sound all deep and meaningful. I guess when he is screaming lyrics like Fred Durst, he sounds okay, but on most songs that deep and meaningful routine comes in.
The Good
Star Wars and Pancakes
Okay, this song does have that irritating junk I was talking about above, but it’s actually the best song on the cd. The lyrics have meaning to me as well, because it sounds to me like it’s about a relationship that went wrong due to no communication:
and I keep a thorough list of
complaints and regrets and mistakes
inclined to let them dissolve unresolved, unexplained
content just coasting along unaware of the speed,
convinced that nothing is wrong all along so relieved
Yep, that about sums up my last heartbreak.
This song would get 4 stars from me on its own, simply for the great music – think: old Staind meets old 311. It rocks heavy on the chorus, and gets mellow with some nice guitar melodies in between. I wish the rest of this album would take a hint from this song.
Pimp Floyd
Okay, this song is really good. It has NO vocals on it (woohoo!) and the music is very mellow and dreamy. I’m ripping this one onto my hard drive for sure before I chuck this cd at my annoying neighbor.
The Bad (em, I’m not listing them ALL)
Hoss Vegas
This song is a story about gambling and it’s just too preachy for my tastes. Again, the music isn’t all that bad, but the vocals just ruin it all. This song is more funk-oriented, but even that can’t help it. Good lord, nothing can help this band until they find a new lead singer!
Powers Fading
This is just a bad attempt at mixing rap with rock. Anthrax called, they want their song back!
Sounds Good To Me
Okay, part of the lyrics go “and I think someone just farted, sounds good to me” – enuff said.
Alright people, don’t even make me go into the song Grandma’s Christmas Shirt.
Overall, I really can’t recommend anyone buy this album. There is a reason I still have it in my possession, and that is because the used cd store won’t buy it from me: they have too many used copies of it already. If you’re looking for quality rock/funk/rap, then let me suggest purchasing a Honey Bucket cd – those guys jam. Or, if you like the more rock-heavy sound, then even buying a Limp Bizkit cd would be better than listening to the Pimps.
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