plorentz's Full Review: Cocked and Loaded by Revolting Cocks
Less an actual band than a revolving troupe of rock n' roll pranksters led by industrial metal maven Al Jourgenson, the Revolting Cocks have been merrily putting the "more ick" in sophomoric for twenty years now, finding new and obscene ways of synthesizing tired MTV cliches, sordid E! True Hollywood Stories, flea market-grade pornography, agit-prop, surf riffs, death disco and an apparently bottomless well of foul punnery into distinctively sleazy white trash anthems.
For, Cocked and Loaded, the b(r)and's first actual studio record since 1993's Linger Ficken Good (most memorable for its cover of Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?", which brought out the very worst of the song), the Revolting Cocks appear as a supergroup featuring a veritable who's who of underground (and not-so) scenemakers. Along with Jourgenson, there's Jello Biafra (Dead Kennedys), Gibby Haynes (Butthole Surfers), Phildo Owen (Skatenigs), Rick Nielsen (Cheap Trick - and Robin Zander sings back-up somewhere on here too!), and Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top), along with longtime Jourgenson associates Mark Baker and Steve Banch. It looks like a cast of thousands, but for the most part, this is Al Jourgenson's world, and the rest are merely players.
To be sure, there's little beauty in their cheapness, but in a sub-genre that often bogs down in its own very seriousness, the Revolting Cocks fill a gaping void, delivering a steady stream of high school locker-room nastiness with a recklessly vile sense of humor (see "Jack in the Crack"), but enough (gulp) intelligence and unbound mojo to take it all into the realm of the-
No. I can't go there. Let's just say that the band's mission statement appears to be something along the lines of finding the most stomach-turningly awful jokes, ideas, and/or sex acts, and through the power of chantable hooks, fuzzed-out guitar riffs and industrial disco beats, making those jokes, ideas, and/or sex acts almost - ummm, palatable. Possibly even insightful. (In that sense, they may be the closest living approximation of Frank Zappa we have now.) Jello Biafra may not be telling us anything we don't already know in album highlight "Viagra Culture" - a song that begins with a typical screed against the dominant and domineering culture of indiscriminate, violent (and phallic) competition - but he's given us a lovely name for that the distinctly American mindset.
But mostly, the record's just plain, dirty fun. The opening "Fire Engine" barrels along with sirens-a-blarin' and a nifty, repetitive fragment of Vintage '61 surf guitar. "Ten Million Ways To Die" comes with an underdressed Latin beat, a phony horn section (credited as Earth, Wind, and Satan) that even Phil Collins would be ashamed of, and Gibby Haynes narrating a Tarantino-style tale of deadly lust in a deep, pitch modulated cartoon voice. "Revolting Cock au Lait" is just one big wonderful gimmick over another over another over the beat from "We Will Rock You"; and on the song "Caliente (Dark Entries)" (which also appeared in the movie Saw 2), they do delicious violence to an old Bauhaus chestnut.
My favorite, though, is "Pole Grinder", which laces together some sexually (and surgically) explicit musings about gender identity over heavy metal burlesque riffage, climaxing in the shout-along chorus: Lovin' you, baby, like lovin' myself! Lovin' you baby, like lovin' myself! Of course it's obscene, offensive, and hateful. But it's catchy as all hell! It's the kind of song I know in my heart of hearts I should denounce in only the strongest of terms. But I just can't. That, of course, is the Revolting Cocks in a nutshell; and Cocked and Loaded is, thus, a worthy addition to the stinking pile of scat they call a canon.
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BECAUSE YOU NEED TO KNOW:
"Cocked and Loaded" by Revolting Cocks
13th Planet / Megaforce Records
Released 3/7/06
Produced by Alien Jourgenson
47 min.
SONGS: Fire Engine - Ten Million Ways to Die - Caliente (Dark Entries) - Prune Tang - Dead End Streets - Pole Grinder - Jack in the Crack - Devil Cock - Viagra Culture - Revolting Cock au Lait
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