I love this movie. Love. Love. Love. If this movie were a woman, I'd sent it flowers every day. So imagine my glee when I got my very own copy of the DVD yesterday. I figured that I'd already spent over 15 bucks renting the damn thing, so why not just bite the bullet?

So imagine my dismay when I revisited my dusty old review of The Thing and found it to be a rather weakly written and all-around lame review. Out of respect for this beloved movie, I decided to re-edit this review and praise the ultra-groovy Special Features on the DVD. If you happen to be one of the 164 people left in the U.S. who hasn't seen and been blown away by this movie, just go rent the damn thing already!

Once in a while, the creators of a horror movie will just nail it. Everything in John Carpenter's The Thing works: the understated and intense acting performances, the oppressive and oh-so-creepy musical score, the wildly gory and ferocious monster(s), and especially John Carpenter's stark direction. This is a cult horror tour-de-force that has built itself a solid fanbase over the past twenty years, and I've never seen a movie critic pan it.

The plot is wonderfully simple: Nine government engineers man a remote base in the furthest parts of the Antarctic. The sudden appearance of a strange dog predicates one of the coolest and most heart-stopping variations on Ten Little Indians that you ever will see. It seems that this dog is not a dog at all, but is instead an amorphous, ever-changing space alien monster who makes a big sloppy mess everywhere he goes.

So let's check our handy checklist to see exactly what components are used to make The Thing one of the most grisly, intense and just plain effective horror movies of the past 25 years:

A: John Carpenter - Yeah, Halloween is his masterpiece. Then he directed The Fog as well as Escape from New York. (All three are fantastic movies, if it's me you're asking.) But Carpenter simply hit his stride perfectly with The Thing. There is almost NO comic relief here. Zero. Think about that. Other than Alien, I can think of no other modern horror movies that are so gloriously humorless! A sense of dread and uncertainty begins to envelop the viewer, since the monster mentioned in the title can imitate any living creature perfectly. Where the monster is hiding is always unknown; It could easily be any one of the characters. The guy you're planning to destroy the creature with...could BE the creature!

Carpenter shows an increasingly steady hand at directing actors. That's the tricky part here, as we basically have 12 actors on a single set; a director's nightmare. But Carpenter uses the close quarters and "regular-Joe" characters to perfection.

Usually, John Carpenter does his own music. This time, he hired Ennio Morricone (The Untouchables) to do the score and the result could not fit the film better. (If you're a Carpenter freako like me, you may suspect that he did indeed have some input with this score, because it sounds quite similar to some his other movie music. I mean that in a good way.)

B: Bill Lancaster's screenplay - Although most people seem to think this movie is a remake of Howard Hawks's The Thing (from Another World), it isn't at all. This version is actually a more faithful adaptation of Joseph Campbell's short story "Who Goes There?"

Campbell slowly sets up the relationships between the blue-collar guys. As we catch a glimpse of what their day-to-day routine looks like the audience begins to get a sense of the loneliness and seclusion that exists in such a desolate spot. We also get a good sense of their group dynamic and "pecking order" before we get into all the goopy horror stuff.

C: Rob Bottin's makeup and creature effects - In a word: staggering. The Thing could be released theatrically tomorrow and audiences would still be stunned by the shockingly realistic (and slimy) special effects. Every detail of a severed head or open chest cavity is lovingly depicted. The explicitness of the gore is offered so suddenly and matter-of-factly that it strengthens the movie even more. You'll be too shocked to think about how goofy it could have been with a weak director.

Human heads twist off and grow spider-like legs, a dog's head splits open like a banana, and a lot more good slime and blood...but we haven't even seen the creature in all its glory yet! Simply put, the special effects on display here are nothing short of awesome, and I mean awesome in the strictest sense of its definition, not the cheap way we all use the word "awesome".

D: The Cast - Kurt Russell (Soldier, Overboard) employs a soft-spoken reluctance here, as his MacReady is not really sure he even wants to be the hero. Russell drops his normal bravado and the character seems all the more real. Other notable performances come from Wilford Brimley (before he became an oatmeal cliché, he was in movies like The Natural and Cocoon), Richard Dysart (Pale Rider, Hard Rain) and Keith David (Requiem for a Dream, Armageddon). The ensemble of character actors, which also includes another pair of favorites - Richard Masur (Shoot to Kill, License to Drive) and T.K. Carter (Dr. Detroit, Seems Like Old Times) - is strong from top to bottom. Each actor brings a normal authenticity to his character, which helps the audience believe all the goopy goings-on. This is a collection of actors you all know and like; the kinds of cool actors that never seem to get remembered by name.

E: Sincerity - It's obvious that all involved here were interested in making a shocking and claustrophobic horror movie. Certain sequences may remind you a little of Ridley Scott's Alien in its themes of isolation, infection and fear of the unknown. But these are primal fears, the coolest fears of all to exploit when trying to make a terrifying movie. The Thing is the kind of movie that can be made when people are serious about scaring an audience.

Vague inferences that the creature itself symbolizes an early AIDS metaphor seem somewhat obvious, yet it’s not spelled out: As an attempt to discern who may be the creature incognito, the survivors are tied down while they are forced to submit to blood tests. The scenes of the men awaiting the test results are truly intense, and the payoff is satisfying indeed. Lancaster's script constantly piles trust upon distrust.

The Thing somehow was criminally underappreciated upon its theatrical release in 1982. Perhaps the film's poor showing at the box office had something to do with a decidedly more benevolent alien (in some movie called E.T.) hitting the screens a scant two weeks earlier. Or perhaps a dark and intense horror film with such graphic violence simply was a turn-off to large audiences. Regardless of its original critical dismissal and box-office mediocrity, to say that The Thing has found a new life on video is a massive understatement. People love this movie.

This one is a true classic. I've argued with people for hours on its merits and its (miniscule) shortcomings. Underrated, overlooked and unjustifiably dismissed, I challenge people to see it and not have a good scare. For my money, The Thing is one of the best American horror movies...ever...made.


DVD Stuff!

How do you make a rabid and pathetic movie fan even more excited and patheticker? Release one of his favorite movies on DVD, complete with a butt-load of fascinating behind-the-scenes features. Get a gander at these:

The Basics: Region 1 DVD (US & Canada) - Color - English Captions, English Subtitles, Spanish Subtitles - 2.35:1 NON-Anamorphic (!) Widescreen - English 5.1 Dolby Surround or French 2.0 Dolby Surround - Individual Chapter Access

The Essentials: Production Notes, Theatrical Trailers, Cast & Crew Bios

Cool Stuff: Storyboards, Conceptual Art, Annotated Production Archive, Photographs & Stills, Outtakes, Effects Footage, Deleted Scenes! An Alternate Ending! (I'm out of breath. Gimme a minute.)

The Gravy:

1. An 80-minute documentary entitled Terror Takes Shape. No mere cable-station puff piece here, this documentary features all-new footage, interviews and anecdotes about the production and release of The Thing.

2. This DVD features one of the best Actor/Director commentaries ever! This one is a "scene-specific" commentary, which means that these two are seeing what you're seeing and discussing it. (As opposed to other commentaries in which the filmmakers simply ramble on about the movie in general.) Carpenter and Russell are obviously having a good time reminiscing about this movie and their mood proves to be infectious. Rarely are audio commentaries this informative and entertaining.

3. Here's a somewhat hidden goodie: You can access an Isolated Score Audio Track at the menu for the "Terror Takes Shape" documentary! I'm a big fan of movie music. Isolated Score tracks are very cool. (Basically, you can hear only the film's music. Not for everyone, but I dig it!)

So there you have it. If you consider yourself a fan of horror movies, this is one DVD your library deserves. I've heard some vague rumblings that Universal may be placing this one "on moratorium" (which basically means Out of Print) in the future. Heck, Universal's done it before.

Regardless of whether this one will truly become a Collector's Item, The Thing is a classic horror flick of the highest caliber. If my ramblings have inspired even two people to rent (or purchase) this movie, then I'm a happy guy.

And when you get nightmares about mutant German Shepards and Alien Spider Heads and oceans of slick slimy icky goo, I'll be the guy to thank.


Recommended:
Yes

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: Good for Groups
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older