When people are asked the question, “What’s the worst movie ever released to theaters?” A common response is typically newer films, or films that the responder has a personal vendetta against. What is the worst movie? Well, according to the ‘Internet Movie Database’s bottom 100 movies, “’Manos’ the Hands of Fate” is voted the worst movie ever to have a movie theater run.

Naturally, I took up the ‘Manos’ challenge. I found the un-cut full length DVD (yes, amazingly even the worst movie was released on DVD) online for a devastating $6.99. As ‘bargain-barrel’ as this sounds, they could’ve knocked a few more dollars off of it, I’m sure their not selling well as it is.

“‘Manos’ the Hands of Fate’”, loosely translated: Hands the Hands of Fate, is the epitome of a cult-campy movie. Best known for its treatment on the late-great Mystery Science Theater 3000, Manos is the story of a family finding themselves ensnared in what appears to be a cult of sorts. The movie begins with a scene of the family (consisting of a mother, father, daughter, and a little pooch) cruising El Paso, Texas, where the movie was filmed and premiered. Singing ‘row-row-row your boat’ in rounds, the family finds themselves lost in the desert and happen upon a house. Standing in the entryway, we meet the first insanely inept character. Torgo is the caretaker of the house, and assistant to ‘The Master’, whom Torgo serves under. Things get a little weird when we, the audience, learn about what the master’s ultimate plans. It seems as though the master has gathered quite the collection of wives and is planning to unleash them in one way or another.

‘Manos’ is one of those movies that is left up to interpretation simply due to its lack of explaining things. Why does the master have so many wives? and why are hands regarded so highly in this cult? What is the director (Hal P. Warren, who also stars as the father, Mike) trying to make the audience feel? Fear, shame, horror? Well I can safely say, if your not one who likes to witness those emotions on screen, then Manos will make the cut. I would say boredom, confusion and embarrassment are accurate descriptions of responses one might feel while witnessing this film. Should we put all the blame on Hal P. Warren? Is the movie that much of a train-wreck? Well yes and no.
With a budget of under $20,000, a cast of actors and actresses from the community theater that work for next to nothing, or in some cases nothing and produced with all rented equipment, there is no blame to place on anyone. ‘Manos’ had no expectations to meet and no corporate executives to please. Although voted the worst movie of all-time, ‘Manos’ has more charm and charisma then says, “Gigli” or “Glitter”. The actors give a much rawer and human feel than say Jennifer Lopez or Mariah Carey could ever wish to deliver.

John Reynolds, who plays Torgo, literally gives it his all. You can tell. Reynolds pours his heart and soul into his role. Unfortunately, Reynolds goes way over the top. He gives his character a stuttering voice and herky-jerky movements. Warren also assigns a dreadful 4-note theme for when Torgo struts his stuff. Unfortunately we will never know if Reynolds could’ve blossomed as an actor. A few years after the movie was released Reynolds committed suicide.

Another great example of a ‘Manos’ actor surpassing even a big-budget star is the Master, played by Tom Neyman. Neyman delivers his lines with an exquisite Elizabethan dialect. He also maintains a dark demeanor throughout the movie.

Unfortunately the quality acting stops here. Diane Mahree, who plays Margaret, the mother, gives a dismal display of over acting nearly every line. One scene in particular that I can vividly replay in my mind, and often do, is when Torgo is making a lewd gesture towards Margaret, only to have her awkwardly raise her arms half-way, look to the ceiling and let out a shrill: “Mike! Mike!” It’s an uncomfortable thing to watch.

Hal Warren has an interesting directing style, to say the least. The beginning vacation drive is communicated through shots of a rolling country side. This filming the country side in a car lasts for at least a couple of minutes. It takes the term ‘padding out a film’ to whole new level. Luckily we are treated to a few more minutes of filming from the backseat, a welcome change. Throughout the movie there are several questionable shots. One particular scene shows Margaret and Mike outside holding hands. The camera slowly zooms in on the hands, frames them in the top, then the bottom, and finally gets the couples hand holding framed correctly. Either Warren was limited in the capabilities of the camera (or cameraman) or he was lazy. Hopefully it was not the latter. This was Warren’s first and last film. Warren was originally a Fertilizer salesman in El Paso and upon a bet, he wrote, directed, and starred in ‘Manos’. With more experience and education could Warren be an honorable actor, director, or writer? We’ll never know.

The premiere for “‘Manos’ the Hands of Fate” was at the Capri Theater in El Paso. The stars of the film were in attendance with the rest of the general public. This would be the first time the cast and crew would see the final cut of the film they spent a good portion of their lives slaving over. As the movie was projected on the screen to a packed house, laughs and insults started flooding the theater. The cast snuck out before the movie was over, as to not be embarrassed by the movie.

Despite it all, you have to hand it to Warren; he had confidence and never backed down. He even managed to give the film a small theater run. Sure, “‘Manos’ the Hands of Fate’” is not a common household name, none of the actors or actresses went on to become a reputable film star. The impact the film has on a person is not what went on on-screen, but what went on behind scenes. Warren showed motivation to accomplish something despite naysayers; he had a drive to finish something from start to finish. This is what I will walk away feeling after watching and researching “’Manos’ the Hands of Fate”.

Recommended:
Yes

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: Good for Groups
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older