I walked eagerly up to the ticket office at one of the local movie theatres.
"Two tickets to Final Destination, please!"
"Sure!", replied the friendly young girl behind the counter, "I hear that it's an excellent movie!"
"Oh, boy! That's good, because I don't want to waste a Thursday evening watching a crappy movie!" I winked at the Miss Friendly behind the counter.
I bounded into the theatre, just before the previews started.
"What timing!", I explained to the cute girl sitting on my right. She smiled at me coquettishly. She was extremely attractive.
The lights started to dim, and the opening credits began. I noticed that although the theatre was quite full, there was a lot of empty seats around us, and we had almost an entire row near the back. Excellent, I thought, and stretched my legs out on to the back of the chair in front of me. Suddenly, there was a hand on my thigh! The little minx! She started to move her hand up my leg, and tickled the inside of my thigh. She placed her warm, little hand on mine, and stroked it delicately.
Wow.
I think something exciting was happening in the movie, but I didn't notice. This girl had her wanton way with me in the middle of a full movie theatre. It was most pleasant.
The movie theatre started to grow light, and I pulled myself away from the hungry girl's mouth. I pulled up my trousers, and buttoned my shirt. I helped her collect her things, and we left the movie complex.
We had sex down an alleyway on the way home.
NOTE: This is entirely fictitious.
REVEALED - THE TRUTH ABOUT FINAL DESTINATION
I managed to get myself two free tickets to the premiere of this movie. Lucky that. My flatmate and I met after work, and walked into the complex. I walked up to the ticket booth and flashed my premiere card at the girl behind the counter.
"Do I need actual tickets, or is this okay?", I asked.
"Yeah, whatever. That's fine.", she replied.
"What cinema is it playing in?"
"Cinema 10."
"Okay. Where is that?", I questioned.
"Upstairs.", she replied.
Oh, good one, you sillypants, I thought. All the cinemas are upstairs.
We walked upstairs to find that the movie had already started, there were only about 5 seats left at the front, and it was too dark to see anything. We stood at the back for the first few minutes. We were eventually able to see well enough to take our seats.
Let me tell you now, that the only good thing about this movie was that I had tangy fruits.
The entire theatre was in fits of laughter. I don't think this was the intention of the moviemakers. The storyline is poos. The script is rubbish, and the actors didn't do a very good job either. Grab a handful of Dawson's Creeks actors, a 1970's B-grade horror movie scriptwriter, some fake blood, a plastic severed head, off-set cue cards, and you have Final Destination.
If you have to see it, at least see it for a giggle.
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