*****For Immediate Dissemination*****

TRANSCRIPT OF INTERVIEW WITH ROBERT "BOB" SHELBY, SENIOR PARTNER, SCHUYLER & MITCHELL, 683 MONTGOMERY STREET, SAN FRANCLISCO [sic], CALIFORNIA.

SUBJECT: Production of the Motion Picture HAIKU TUNNEL on the premises of SCHUYLER & MITCHELL.

[Questions and comments of others present REDACTED by order of the Attorney General. The symbol **** represents redactions in the following record.]

[Special Agents HARKER A. KRUMP and WARD S. FELKER carrying on the Interrogation. Later joined by Senior Supervisor ANN HILLENFORD.]

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Recorded, Tuesday, September 26, 2001 -- 8:31 A.M.

Yes, of course, come in, gentlemen. I have about ten minutes to spare before I have to be in court. An important undertaking, you see. One of the biggest SCHUYLER & MITCHELL has ever handled. **** Yes, it does have some bearing on the production of the Independent Motion Picture HAIKU TUNNEL, but I'm not at liberty to discuss the case now **** Then, if you don't mind, little *MINDY here will take notes. I want to state for the record that my answers to your questions are voluntary, and I hope shall be kept confidential **** Oh, I see. **** MINDY, you may go, and would you ask *MRS. [Marlina] D'AMORE to hold all my calls? That's a dear. **** Spunky little girl, that.

Well, I really can't tell you much about JOSH KORNBLUTH. I want to state categorically that SCHUYLER & MITCHELL had nothing to do with the production of this Un-American motion picture. We took him on here, innocently, as a "temp" when *HELEN . . . had a little spell. **** No, it's maddening, but I can't remember her last name. [speaks into intercom] *CLIFFORD, would you see that the Investigators receive HELEN's name and present address on . . . their way out? **** Oh, HELEN is really doing yankee doodle dandy. She was a "perm" so, of course, she has our generous full medical and psychiatric benefits.

Well, that was the strange part about JOSH. He was such a fine young man, 40 years-old, in prime earning years. We liked JOSH, except perhaps for those Hawaiian shirts he wore. And he was a little overweight. But we're easy here. Great future with SCHUYLER & MITCHELL, I thought **** Indeed, that is our logo. **** Yes, there are some jokes about us around the court house. But we are one of the most respected legal firms on Montgomery Street. One of the most renowned in San Franclisco (sic). **** Anyone in the Law knows us here at the Todd Building.

Of course, you are right. About JOSH KORNBLUTH, I digress. Let me see, the first day I saw JOSH at his desk outside my door, I knew this was a young man who could have a future at S and -- er, SCHUYLER & MITCHELL. He had excellent computer skills and arrived highly recommended from Unitemp . . . . [Speaks into intercom] *DAVONNE, wasn't Josh sent to us from Unitemp? **** She's looking it up for you. It was Uni-something. They had sent him out to the finest firms in the City, dozens of times. **** Yes, I remember as if it were last week -- it was last week. He was only here a week, after all. Josh gave me one of those little Uniball pens, which I thought to be the gesture of a winner and a go-getter. I brought him into my office and told him so. I gave him a good deal of work, which had piled up after HELEN's departure.

[Senior Supervisor Ann Hillenford enters the room at 8:37 A.M.]

Ah, MRS. [Ann] HILLENFORD I've heard much about you. I see you have some of the data I asked MARLINA and DAVONNE prepare. Here, take this chair. It's more comfortable.

Well, that first day, for a lowly "temp," JOSH was a tiger. He went through a cart of briefs, transcribed my replies to the memos, and logged them all into our Master Unit. Right away, I sent him over to our fine *ORIENTATION LEADER to make sure he knew how to operate and clear our Nitro-Express Copy Machine at max speed. I remember once my brother, LEONARD -- LENNY SHELBY. In Insurance. Claims. Have you interviewed him? **** I was just going to say that LENNY once was sucked into that machine . . . tore his clothes off and injured his brain . . . came out, his body covered with strange, random messages. **** Never recovered. Paranoia. I didn't want that to happen to poor JOSH.

His balding head, you see.

Yes, I should know. Stay on the subject. I'm a lawyer, after all. **** I did hear JOSH tell our junior partner, TODD GOLUBA, one day: "They never explode in your pocket. They just expire one day, so gracefully they're like the Camille of pens." **** No, I don't know what he meant. TODD didn't either.

As I say, that first day, he was a tiger, and it's so hard to find competent help, even in this economy that I took him into my office -- quite extraordinary -- and made him a "perm," on the spot. **** Yes, naturally, he had a choice. I had MRS. [Marlina] D'AMORE ask JOSH if he'd "like to go perm." That's the way we put it. We --. **** Right, I'll get on with it. **** I gave him 17 Very Important Letters, if you understand me, which had to be processed, duplicated, filed in true-copy and the originals mailed immediately. It would be his Big Test**** Right! I was flabbergasted. JOSH just fell apart. If it had not been for our first-rate little crew here, SCHUYLER & MITCHELL might have been hopelessly compromised.

Not at all. NOT AT ALL! Some of the staff saw this runty young man, JAKE KORNBLUTH, photographing JOSH. Recording his every act. It was only this morning, I learned that they were half-brothers. **** Yes, I understand now that JOSH was raised a Communist, a Red Diaper Baby. Can't be too careful about such people these days. Before we knew it, they had made this movie, HAIKU TUNNEL. **** Well, I might have suspected when he started to come in late. But, once we made him a "perm," my fine staff covered for him. He had become part of our little community here **** I've learned that he left long, heart-tearing messages on MRS. [Marlina] D'AMORE's personal answering machine.**** Couldn't sleep, he said, and he lived to sleep **** In the middle of the night, about his girl *HELEN leaving him at the garage he was living in, down in the Mission. **** Another HELEN, I believe. No relation to our HELEN here. **** I have no idea where she is.

JOSH told MRS. [Marlina] D'AMORE about his lack of confidence. We believe he was suffering from "a fear of completion."

I understand HAIKU TUNNEL was the first film JOSH and his brother JAKE made -- it took them years to get off terra firma -- although JOSH had used some of the material in a little recitation he used to give at a place called The Marsh Theater . . . or Club . . . some place like that. **** In SOMA, I believe. **** It means, "South of Market Area." And no, HARKER [A. Krump], I would not be able to help you with the exact address.

There were other places, too

How could I have known he was making a movie called HAIKU TUNNEL?

Yes, he spent the other days of that week writing reviews under the name MIKE BRACKEN for some Internet outfit called Epinions.

Of course, we shall not require an Order. Take the computer. I have reason to believe he was also working on his novel, WE ARE BUT LITTLE FISH. We found some downloads of it. I ask you now!!

We were VERY lucky. My 17 letters might never have been mailed, had not Marlina -- that's our Senior Secretary, MRS [Marlina] D'AMORE -- MINDY, CLIFFORD, DAVONNE and the rest of our Community bucked him up. Little price, I thought, until I discovered the movie project. It violates our Rules of Protocol. **** No, I scarcely noticed JAKE KORNBLUTH -- that's the half-brother -- except for the steadi-cam he had on his shoulder. I believe he was raised by some fanatical fundamentalist sect in Michigan.

Well, gentlemen -- and lady, I must add -- your 15 minutes are up. I'm off, up the street to file an injunction against the showing of HAIKU TUNNEL at any venue in San Franclisco (sic). Any further questions? **** I believe that there was once an ambitious construction project on the Big Island of Hawaii. Called it The Haiku Tunnel Project. JOSH may have worked on it. Lot's of insurance and legal paper to be carried on that. Ask my brother, LENNY. **** We would never have known anything about the depth of [Josh] KORNBLUTH's depravity without the cooperation of that brilliant, beautiful former colleague of mine, who met JOSH at a copy machine down the street and befriended him. **** Her name is JULIE FAUSTINO of CHRISTIANSON, FOSTER, FRUIN, FULMER, ROMO and SCHELHAMMER. **** Yes, the building is on Pine Street. MARLINA will direct you.

Oh? You've interviewed JULIE . . . . Yes, well . . .

Okay, I must be off. Good Luck . . . may I call you, ANN [Hillenford]? Let me see, HARKER [A. KRUMP] . . . WARD [S. FELKER]. Any time. Make an appointment with MRS. [Marlina] D'AMORE.

Good Morning.

End of Transcript: Wednesday, September 25, 2001 -- 8:51 A.M.

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Personal Notes of HARKER A. KRUMP, Special Agent-in-Charge, HAIKU TUNNEL Investigation:

I would call them The Cast of Characters. All of them have aliases except for Mr. Josh Kornbluth, which we find incriminating in itself. (Only those interviewed so far):

JOSH KORNBLUTH -- overweight, babbling, but essentially a shy kind of nothing happening sort of guy, purposeless, except for his novel and this movie: a perfect recruit for subversive activities like HAIKU TUNNEL.

ROBERT "BOB" SHELBY, aka Warren Keith -- robotic sort of guy, known to the "perms" as The Prince of Darkness, used his hands a lot, evasive, protecting the firm. Where have we heard of his brother Lenny before? Check.

JULIE FAUSTINO, aka Sarah Overman -- sharp, bright, attractive, very helpful, has a future, if she can get by this trouble.

MRS. MARLINA D'AMORE, aka Helen Shumaker -- a bit like the Countess Dracula, competent, knows more than she's telling, has great presence.

MINDY **** , aka Amy Resnick -- perky, funny, kind, may have been an accomplice of Mr. Kornbluth.

CLIFFORD **** , aka Brian Thorstenson -- tall, thin, reticent at first, then quite chatty.

DAVONNE **** , aka June Lomena -- distant, dark haired, a hard nut to finesse.

**** , Orientation Leader aka Harry Shearer -- can't shut the guy up, as if he were half the characters on The Simpsons.

HELEN ****(1) aka Patricia Scanlon -- Ex-girlfriend of Mr. Kornbluth, complained he kept her awake, but not in a satisfactory fashion.

HELEN **** (2) aka Jennifer Laske -- ex-secretary for SCHUYLER & MITCHELL, suffered complete nervous breakdown, agoraphobic, addicted to alcohol and prescription drugs.

With the exception of Shearer, these interrogees are all Bay Area people, not used to making subversive movies. We have screened HAIKU TUNNEL, and we conclude, it is an insidiously amusing motion picture comedy in the style of Bertold Brecht. Communist and perhaps fanatical in nature. It resembles in subversive content other business office satires we have had to deal with, such as CLOCK WATCHERS and OFFICE SPACE.

RECOMMENDATION: In terms of the National Emergency, we advise that all these people be rolled up. They may be connected to QUARTO NEGRO or VICTOR KLEINHAAGEN. Suggest that you review HAIKU TUNNEL.

Neither I nor my team has any connection to the covertly amusing Independent Movie satire about conditions in the American work place: HAIKU TUNNEL. Written, directed and produced entirely by Josh and Jake Kornbluth.

Submitted this 26th Day of September 2001.

HARKER A. KRUMP
Special Agent,
San Franclisco (sic) Office

TRUE COPY . . . TRUE COPY . . . TRUE COPY . . . TRUE COPY







Recommended:
Yes

Video Occasion: Good for Groups
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older