My wife and I have been horror fans for as long as we can both remember. Though I was only seven (my wife, six) when the original Halloween premiered back in 1978, we can still remember the coming attractions on television. It went on to become the highest grossing independent feature ever, despite a meager film budget of only $320,000.

We've been fans ever since.

Therefore, it was with great anticipation that my wife and I went to see Resurrection. As true Halloween cult fanatics, we weren't disappointed.

As quoted from Barbelith, an Epinions member whose review of the original Halloween is probably the best analytical piece on that movie that I've ever read: "I'll stay away from blunt adoration of the film (and indeed the good films of the series [1,2&H20]), but suffice it to say, they are taut, elegantly plotted and utterly terrifying."

The movie opens with two nurses discussing the case of Laurie Strode (played by Jamie Lee Curtis), the last living relative of Michael Myers, the rampaging psychopath whose first victim was his own sister.

As one of the supporting cast said of Myers, "he picked up a knife at eight years old and never put it down."

However, my wife and I were eager to find out just exactly how Michael Myers survived decapitation at the end of Halloween H2O.

Understand that Michael Myers has a history of immortality as well as spontaneous regeneration, much like a starfish! He is, in fact, godlike from a horror mythology point of view. He possesses immortality (at least, thus far), invincibility, omnipotence, and omnipresence.

For example, at the end of the original Halloween, Myers is shot six times by Dr. Loomis, played by the late great Donald Pleasance, at point blank range and then suffers a two story fall over a second-floor balcony only to get up and walk away before the good doctor and the quivering Laurie Strode can view what should have been his remains.

At the end of Halloween Part 2, he is shot in both eyes by the same doctor before being engulfed by flames in an explosion at the same hospital in which his sister was recuperating from the previous attack.

Halloween 3 was a cinematic travesty and should never have been permitted to bear the Halloween name.

The remaining Halloween movies were largely forgettable until Halloween H2O where Myers tracks down Strode and family who have assumed new identities at a private school in the New England region. As aforementioned, Myers is decapitated in the ensuing showdown with his sister.

What we learn from the conversation between the nurses at the opening of Resurrection is that before Myers is loaded into an ambulance, assumed dead (again), he crushes the larynx of a paramedic, switches clothes - and mask - with him and deposits him into the body bag reserved for himself.

An axe- and gun-wielding Strode hijacks the emergency vehicle and crashes into a ravine when "Michael" comes to life and begins groping for her. Myers is ejected during the van scene and, after tumbling down a forest glen, is pinned between a tree and the van.

"Michael" is reaching for Laurie, silently pleading with her, pawing at his mask when Laurie lops off his head.

She killed an innocent man, an EMT, a father of three.

Which is why she now resides at a state mental hospital.

But, of course, Myers finds her.

The chase scene climaxes on a rooftop. Strode tricks Myers and has him suspended by one foot by a cleverly-laid rope attached to a miniature crane or winch.

He drops his knife while flailing.

Strode comes forward, picks up the knife, and pauses for the coup de grace!

Myers begins pawing at his mask.

"Just gotta be sure," says Strode, reaching for the mask.

Myers grabs her and, in the ensuing battle, stabs his sister to death and lets her fall from his grasp.

Mission accomplished.

All that's left for Myers is to climb back up and return to his lair beneath his home in Haddonfield, Illinois, the beginning of all of this mayhem.

The problem is that Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks, who play television moguls and the creators of "Dangertainment TV," have procured the rights to film a reality television show in the Myers house under the guise of finding out why Michael Myers turned psychopath.

Six college students are selected to participate in a reality show that was at the same time reminiscent of MTV's Fear and a warped version of Big Brother.

The six make-shift explorers are all equipped with eye-level cameras and one character in particular has her trusty PDA by which she communicates with a prep school computer/internet junkie screen-named "Deckard."

Surprisingly, the sex and nudity is wildly subdued in this movie, save a few quick glimpses of breast in the torture chamber of the Myers home and the tightly-clad, gyrating buttocks of Tyra Banks dancing while her cameraman is killed, on camera, as she is distracted while making herself a frothy cappuccino.

The on-screen chemistry is decent enough among the six students. My only confusion is the casting of Busta Ryhmes, the kung-fu theater watching executive of Dangertainment. I can only imagine that his inclusion bore a twofold purpose. On one hand he provided an obscene edge to the otherwise tame dialogue. Secondly, I believe that the brothers Akkad, who wrote and produced the film, included Rhymes in an attempt to expand their audience base and appeal to people who would've otherwise skipped this movie were it not for Rhymes's role.

Given the box office returns, it seems that whoever casted the film did a fine job.

Eventually, Myers returns home to find his quiet lair has been turned into a self-contained television studio, and, soon, the massacre begins.

"Deckard" absconds from the Halloween party he's been invited to in search of a computer on which he can watch the live webcast of his virtual PDA-toting girlfriend's premier.

Soon the entire party is in the room with him watching the horror unfold, but only "Deckard" is aware that anything is wrong.

This is where the movie sours a bit for me.

"Deckard's" virtually significant other is the last of the six alive. She is being sought by Myers. In a panic, she appeals to one of the cameras for Deckard to contact her, to help her.

He calls 911 to little avail.

He begins communicating with her, telling her where Myers is at any given time.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but during a horror-movie chase scene, I want to be reduced to basic, collective-subconscious fears - darkness, the unknown, death. The best way to kill the flow of such fear-triggers at their most primal is to have the hunted stop periodically to check her PDA for email!

Yes! I recognize the irony of bashing technology on an Internet website, but horror movies are best prepared via simple recipes. Tap the human psyche in the places that scare us all an we will love you for it.

It's like scrambled eggs. Sure some people like saffron, and chervil and wine mixed in their eggs, but the masses are happiest with eggs and a squirt of milk.

Simple.

However, in this age of hip-hop influenced media and the absolute inextricable infusion of technology into mainstream culture, I wonder if I will ever again see a horror movie in which the heroine's face is lit up by a campfire and not the glow of a laptop. I wonder if the bumps and creaks in the sable forest will continue to coexist with foul-mouthed rap music and the pings of incoming email.

Or perhaps I should just get used to the taste of wine in my eggs...

Thanks for reading!

~Mother

Recommended:
Yes

Video Occasion: Good Date Movie
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age