Due to the fact nearly everyone else loves this film (I've got no idea why either) and I appear to getting a lot of flak for giving it the one-star thrashing I feel it truly deserves, I've decided to enter it in carl_lazarevic'sI'm Sorry, But You're Just Plain Wrong W/O which has been going for quite some time now. However, it would appear to be open-ended so get on in there. Oh, and, yes, I'm still trying to track down a copy of that CD
DISCLAIMER: The following scene and conversation is fictional. I made it up. It never happened
~The scene: Sam Raimi, Spider-Man II director and Alvin Sargent are in a Raimis office. Its a week after the original Spider-man closed at the box office~
Raimi: Sargent, I need you to get to work on a script for a sequel.
Sargent:(Not really keen on the idea) Why? Shouldnt we quit while were ahead? Lets face it Sam, sequels are never as good as the original.
Raimi: Even people who havent read the comic books know the story of Spiderman. Hes got a lot of enemies. If we take another one, comic-book geeks while come in their droves to see it. Well make millions.
Sargent:(Starts to warm to the idea) So which enemy should we use?
Raimi: Doc Ock. We can use another science-experiment gone wrong story to create him. Besides that, before he was Doc Ock, Otto Octavius was actually a pretty nice guy. We can play the old nice-guy-goes-wrong-via-tragic-accident card. Its the
Sargent: oldest trick in the book. Were going to do it via science experiment again? Are you also going to have a split-personality type thing like in the last one you know how Green Goblin controlled Osborn, are the arms going to control Octavius?
Raimi: Brilliant! I love it!
Sargent: I was being sarcastic. I was thinking maybe variation is a good thing. I suppose next youre going to tell me J. Jonah Jameson will supply the name Doc Ock.
Raimi: Sure, why not? You didnt think there was going to be originality in this did you? It is a sequel after all. Now, we need to put Parker through a lot of emotion again.
Sargent: But Tobey Maguire wasnt any good at that last time, do you think hes going to be better this time?
Raimi: Dont worry about that. I doubt it though. I was thinking we should follow a similar formula to the original, so well have Parker and Octavius as friends before he becomes Doc Ock.
Sargent: I guess that means having Harry introduce them.
Raimi: Damn right. Speaking of Harry, he should have a lot more to do this time. Revenge against Spider-Man should suffice.
Sargent: Well thatll be fairly easy to write we left it wide open at the end of the last one.
Raimi: But thats not all. Harry should work together with Doc Ock. Now, we need a line somewhere.
Sargent: A line?
Raimi: Remember how we had Uncle Ben Parker say With great power comes great responsibility? We need another motivational sort of line in here and the power/responsibility one should come back.
Sargent: Im with you now. If Parkers going through emotional stuff, how about Aunt May saying I believe theres a hero in all of us, and well have her say it in such a strange way itll sound like shes singing it.
Raimi: Thatll make it stick out so much from the rest of the conversation. Itll be memorable the kind of line that sticks with people forever, despite the fact its so trite. Speaking of memorable, we need to have a classic song in the film somewhere, and it needs to be in the kind of sequence people will always associate the song with the film and vice versa.
Sargent: Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head?
Raimi: Perfect. While were on the subject of trite, bring back the love story.
Sargent: But Parker rejected MJ.
Raimi: He still loves her though, and he always will. She loves him too. They both know it, so well use the whole I love you but I cant put you in danger scenario.
Sargent: Youre really using the book of old tricks for this whole movie, arent you?
Raimi: Its a successful formula.
Sargent: What about actors? The same people from the original?
Raimi: Its in their contracts. Besides, Kirsten Dunst makes a great MJ Watson. Shes got the kind of looks where shes hot in posters and such, but when you look at her for two hours on end you just dont see it. She cant really act, so having her as a Broadway actress and someone cuing her line would be funny.
Sargent: Sounds lame to me. Maguire as Parker / Spidey again?
Raimi: Hell make Dunst look like a good actress, and hes got the right kind of build for Spidey.
Sargent: Any chance of changing the secondary characters?
Raimi: No need. Were trying to make money here, not lose it. They may not be good, but theyre used to the roles. Were not going to try and train any more people than we have to. Hey!, now theres an idea lets bring back Norman Osborn. Willem Dafoe was brilliant last time, we can do a flashback scene.
Sargent: So thats Rosemary Harris back as Aunt May, James Franco as Harry Osborn and J.K Simmons as Jameson. What about Octavius?
RaimiAlfred Molina. He can act, and hes the right type of build for the arms. Well have to make sure he doesnt put on a good performance though, otherwise everyone else will look really bad. We need to use a lot of character development because we were criticized for it last time, so well go completely over the top. Spidey will become depressed, Osborn will become angry, and Watson will get a little mad with Parker.
As for the special effects, we should have plenty of opportunity but well barely make use of them that would be the smart thing to do. Im picturing a glowing yellow ball as part of the science story.
Sargent: Sam, youve got the sun in your eyes again.
Raimi: The sun its perfect! Well make it look like a miniature sun, and tell the audience thats exactly what it is, then have beams coming from it.
Sargent: Are you going to use any different camera angles for when Spideys flying through the city, or just steal them from the last movie.
Raimi: Steal them of course. Although its not really stealing because its my movie its just laziness and cost cutting. Does that cover everything? Yes? Start production.
Scene Two At world premiere
Outraged fan: Hey Raimi! That was the worst movie Ive ever seen. If you dare make a third one Ill kill you!
Raimi: Now theres an idea. Return of
Raimi is suddenly trampled by fans of Spiderman and movies, before he can finish the sentence.
Sargent: I had a feeling it wouldnt be any good, but hopefully itll still bring in the $$$$$ - thats the only reason it was made after all.
Sam Raimi s follow-up to Spider-Man finds Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) struggling to balance his everyday life with his alter ego as the web-slinging ...More at Buy.com Marketplaces
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