Enviro Steamer: At least my husband never even said "I told you so!"
Written: Nov 25 '01 (Updated Jan 21 '04)
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Pros: I can write it off my taxes now
Cons: Didn't work very well for me
The Bottom Line: Forget cleaning the tile with it, I'm going to use it to whomp any burglars unlucky enough to break into my house, unless I get a better suggestion.
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| diverpam's Full Review: Eureka 4885B Stick Steam Cleaner |
What a great idea, I said. Famous last words. At last I had found a quick, easy painless way to clean our (almost white) tile floor in the kitchen. At this point you're probably asking yourself, "What kind of idiot would put 'almost white' tile in their kitchen?" That could possibly be a whole new review!
I just had to buy the Enviro Steamer 300 the first time I saw it in Target. My husband raised an eyebrow as I eagerly read the box. He knew what was about to happen.
He watched me squander my/our hard earned $99 on this miracle machine. I was so excited, I could hardly wait to get home and try it out. Eagerly I read the directions -- okay -- sort of -- read them.
Not Such a Good Start
I struggled to get the cotton pad in place, then struggled a bit more before I grudgingly handed this over to my husband. Okay, if it wasn't for opening pickle jars and putting cotton pads on new-fangled cleaning gizmos, my husband might not feel loved and needed.
That should have been an omen of things to come. First I spilled water, then I almost burned myself. I cursed a lot, read the directions a little more, gave my husband the "Don't dare say I told you so" look, then finally retreated to the bedroom with a sinus headache.
I came back an hour or so later miraculously cured and my husband had cleaned part of the kitchen floor with the Enviro Cleaner. Hmmmm... didn't look much better than when I left the room.
If At First You Don't Succeed...
Maybe he was doing something wrong, I thought. I began trying the cleaner myself. I was not seeing any miracles occur. The grout looked no better at all, the tile maybe only slightly cleaner. Perhaps I had expected a miracle.
Graciously, my husband went off to watch a golf tournament and left me alone with my expensive new toy.
Maybe the floor will look better after it dries. Yeah, right. Two hours later, the golf tournament was over. My floor had still not miraculously cleaned itself.
Easy to Clean
I took off the pad (the machine had now cooled off enough to handle), rinsed it out and left it to dry. Later I tossed it into the washer with a load of towels. I would try again later on a not so challenging surface.
Fast Forward Six Months or So
True to DiverPam cleaning fashion it was about 6 months later when I next got the urge to conduct "major cleaning" and remembered the Enviro Care that my husband had stored away in the laundry room.
This time I was able to get everything functioning by myself and decided to attack the tile in our master bath. I remember when we built the house the tiles were snow white. Let's just say we haven't had any snow in our house in quite sometime. This could be a good cleaning challenge.
Somehow, I just knew the shower tile would respond magically to this miracle steam cleaner. Even though my husband had probably forgotten about it, I still didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing I'd wasted money on a worthless appliance. This would be my vindication.
Still No Miracles
Try as I might, the steam would not budge the gray film that had settled upon the shower tiles. After steaming away for an hour or so, I unplugged the steamer, and began scrounging under the sink for my trusty can of Bon Ami cleanser. There I was, on my hands and knees, with paper towels and Bon Ami, scrubbing away at the tile and grout. Do you have any idea how many cans of Bon Ami cleanser I could have bought for $99?
Caught in the Act
"At least the tile has been pre-sanitized for my scrubbing convenience," I told my husband as he nonchalantly sauntered into the bathroom with a wry smirk on his face.
I continued to scrub away until my tiles had once again regained their snow white countenance. My husband wisely chose to exit the room silently. I wonder how far he got before he burst out laughing? Some things are better not to know for sure.
I was red-faced and red-kneed as I tried to find a place to store this $99 miracle cleaner somewhere out of sight. I thought it was safely ensconced where it would not come back to haunt me, until today when it once again made an appearance.
Okay, I Got a Lemon, So I'm Making Lemonade
Not one to beat myself up for past mistakes, I've spent the past hour trying to find good uses for this $99 door stop and writing this review. Here are my top five suggestions for practical uses for this cleaning machine. Please feel free to let me know if I've forgotten anything.
1. Keep it by my bed side in case a burglar breaks in. I could club him to death.
2. Decorate the cleaner head with colorful fabric shaped like a horse's head, sew on some eyes and a mane and give it to one of my grandchildren for Christmas as a stick horse.
3. Unscrew the handle, wrap cleaner head in red velvet and tie it up with gold ribbon to use as a Christmas doorstop.
4. Save the handle, give it to my husband, and ask him to whack me on the head the next time I want to be the first one on my block to own a miracle cleaning appliance.
5. Box the whole thing up, donate it Goodwill, and let someone else go crazy trying to make it work miracles.
Before you suggest it, I also considered E-Bay, but I have a good rating there and wouldn't want to damage my image as a reputable seller.
Note: I realized after reading the other reviews on this topic, that I seem to be about the only one incapable of producing miracles with this appliance. Perhaps I am domestically-deficient (my husband would not argue with you there) or maybe I got a lemon. However, I think it would make a better burglar deterrent than tile cleaner in my house.
Update:
Since writing this review (oh, so long ago!) I kept this contraption on the top shelf of my laundry room. (I know - not so handy for whomping burglars.) The last week in December I finally gave up the ghost. I added to our end-of-the year Salvation Army donation. I hope its next owner has better luck with it that I did.
Recommended:
No
Amount Paid (US$): 99
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diverpam
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Member: Pam
Location: Collierville, TN
Reviews written: 263
Trusted by: 350 members
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~~~~So many oceans...so little time!~~~~
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