Jagermeister. Oh, where does one begin describing this particularly noxious drink? Let's say we start with the taste. Jagermeister tastes remarkably like cough syrup with licorice mixed in for good measure. Also, it's about as thick as waffle syrup and goes down about as smoothly. Jagermeister is thick, dark and flat-out nasty. It might take care of your nasty cough, but it tastes worse than Nyquil.
Jagermeister is one of those things I ran across in college. I bought one bottle of that, got sick as a dog off it, and haven't touched it since. I've noticed, through the years, that Jagermeister drinkers are the kind who want to get drunk fast and brag about it later. They're the ones who end up waking up in creeks, or find themselves in the beds of undesirable strangers, or in the middle of the woods 50 miles from home. I don't know, exactly, what they put in this stuff, but it's dangerous as anything out there. Heard of a "tequila weekend?" That's nothing compared to a Jagermeister weekend. Those who drink this stuff regularly all have wonderful stories about going insane off of it and running nuts through campus, town, across state lines or wherever else.
I always loved to hear the rumors about Jagermeister, as well. People, while drinking it, love to discuss the origin of the name. What's funny is that such conversations usually end badly, or don't end at all. You know what I'm talking about. They go something like, "Well, 'Jager' is German for Mick Jagger from the Rolling Stones. And 'Meister" is what 'Mister Mister' called themselves in Germany. So, Jagermeister is kind of like Mick Jagger and Mister Mister got together and had a beer." Well, that's an exaggeration.
But, how about this one? "You see, 'Jager' means 'hunter,' and 'Meister' is German for 'master.' So, 'Jagermeister' means. ... You know, that Susie chick is pretty darn cute? I'd go over and talk to her right now, but I can't feel my legs." Oh, that's another exaggeration, to a degree, but I love to hear folks try to figure out what 'Jagermeister' means when they're stinking drunk.
Actually, I believe that "Jagermeister" is German for, "I like to pass out naked in the floor," "Stupid Americans," or "I've become tired of living."
Also, people like to claim that all kinds of odd stuff is in Jagermeister. "Hey, you know it's got opium in it," I've heard. Also, people have said, "There's some deer blood in there!" Actually, I think I know what the secret ingredients in Jagermeister are -- antifreeze and low-grade rat poison.
By the way, you have to drink this stuff straight. Nothing will mix with it willingly, and what goes with cough syrup, anyway?
So, that's about it. Avoid this stuff. Don't let anyone dare you into drinking it. I'm sure it's claimed enough lives already.
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