Air France......UP YOURS!
Written: Sep 05 '01 (Updated Sep 07 '01)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: The food is excellent, and AF's fleet of Airbus jets is top-notch.
Cons: Main hub of AF is Charles De Gaulle airport, the AIRPORT OF ALL THINGS UNHOLY!
The Bottom Line: The worst airline in the skies...don't fly with a dishonest carrier!
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| queenofallevil's Full Review: Air France |
Allow me to introduce you to the worst nightmare in travel you could possibly fathom. This was MY nightmare. I know this review is long, but it had to be this way. If you've ever considered flying Air France, please....you owe it to yourself to read this review. This may have taken me a long time to write, but if it keeps just one person from having the experience I did with this airline, all the effort will be worth it.
Let the nightmare begin:
THE TRIP:
Originally from Texas, I moved to Sweden with my Swedish husband in September of 2000 prior to the birth of our first child. I had decided to return home for 3 weeks to visit my parents, whom had never seen their grandson. The 4th of July sounded like a perfect time to visit the states, so I visited my local travel agency and booked the flight. I brought my best friend as a traveling companion.
THE FLIGHT PLAN:
Coach Flight from Stockholm-Arlanda Sweden (STO) to Paris France (CDG)
Paris France (CDG) to Dallas Fort Worth (DFW) as a final destination.
Return trip 3 weeks later.
THE PASSENGERS
1. Myself, a 26 year old American female. A polite, experienced traveler.
2. My six month old son Dolph, also an experienced traveler (who despite his age had flown 5 times prior to this trip). A very well-behaved infant who never cries on planes, mainly sleeps and when awake sits patiently staring at the aisle to smile at anyone who will look his way. (I have no idea why I was blessed with such a well-behaved child, but why question a good thing?) Over half of all stewardesses in Stockholm Airport know him by his name.
3. My best friend, Jessica. Also a polite experienced traveler. Jessica has a bit of a hard time on airline flights due to an accident that left her with painful nerve injuries in her back. She never complains though, and always tries to keep a good attitude.
THE TRIP TO PARIS:
The Good:
Overall, a very uneventful, short flight.
A small snack (sandwich) was served. (Hey, at least it was edible.)
Staff was moderately friendly. (One stewardess even gave my son a small toy.)
The Bad:
Despite the fact we had booked our tickets together, and our seating was confirmed within 24 hours before flight, once we arrived at the boarding desk we were NOT booked in adjecent seats. We had to ask someone to switch seats with us in order to sit next to each other. *Note: The man was happy to exchange seats after noticing I had a small infant....no problems there.
The flight was packed, and takeoff was delayed by 15 minutes due to one late passenger.
AT CHARLES DE GAULLE AIRPORT:
This is where hell really begins.........
The Good:
NONE.......this airport is the spawning ground of all that is evil. Satan himself must be proud. I am currently running a campaign to rename this airport "Marquis De Sade International". Hell, he was French too, and it's a much more fitting name in my opinion. If you like getting treated like crap, this is the airport for you.
The Bad:
This airport was designed poorly. If you have an infant AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS!
There is no place to sit and feed an infant. There is no place to change a diaper. (Yes, I know.....one of the largest international airports in the world, but they've never heard of a diaper changing station.) It may sound unbelievable, and it was. Surely there had to be a place to change a diaper in such a huge airport. I searched for an hour before finally asking someone at a help desk. I was informed quite rudely that there was no specific place to change my child, but I was free to do so wherever I chose. Sound disgusting? Hardly. Charles De Gaulle is the filthiest place on the planet. People urinate, deficate, and smoke wherever they stand. THIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION. The whole airport is full of puddles of urine, piles of you-know-what, dirty diapers, used tampons, etc.
After convincing myself there had to be a decent option in changing my baby, I found a sign that said "Children's Play Area". Surely if there was one place to change a diaper, it had to be located there. The Children's Area is located upstairs, and visible from all parts of the airport. From down below it looked like an oasis in the desert....a beautiful place with slides and swings.....if only you can find how to get up there.
After searching for 45 minutes trying to figure out how to access the second level, I found it. Yep, you guessed it....the perfect place for kids was up 3 flights of stairs. Nobody on the design team for this airport stopped and considered that people traveling with small children would be using strollers. No elevator was ever placed to access the area. I had to take my infant from his stroller in one arm, and drag the stroller up the stairs with the other.
To my horror, there were no children in the play zone. The beautiful area I had pictured in my mind had become the hideous reality that it truly was. It was a place adults went to sleep on the children's equipment, and a place where people could use drugs without being bothered. There was about 15 people sleeping on the play equipment. I was mortified. But then...a ray of hope...
THE BATHROOM HAD THE UNIVERSAL SIGN FOR "DIAPER STATION"!!! You know the one...the little stick figure woman bending over to change the diaper on her stick figure infant....at last!!!! I quickly entered the room, only to see a toilet, a sink, and a small space next to the sink where you could change your child. I set the diaper bag by the sink, only to discover the cruelest thing I'd seen yet. As soon as I set the diaper bag down, I was startled by a large blowing sound. That's right....some moron decided to place a sensor-activated hand dryer directly over the place where you are expected to change your baby. If anyone attempts to lay their infant on the table, the dryer will activate, scalding the baby's face with high-pressure heated air in the process.
Finally, I sat on the disgusting floor, and changed my son in my lap. Vowing that as soon as I had the chance, I'd let the world know how screwed up Charles De Gaulle airport is, and give my travel agent a piece of my mind.
THE TRIP TO DALLAS:
The Good:
The food was excellent! In all my flights I had never experienced such a good in-flight meal in coach. A tip however: Air France offers 2 meal choices (aside from specialty menus) on transatlantic flights to and from the USA. A "French" meal, and an "American" meal choice. The French choice is ALWAYS the better of the two.
The staff was helpful, and very polite. Once you get to your seat, everything you need is there. Headphones, earplugs, wet towels, blankets, pillows, eyeshades......all ready to go without having to ask.
A bassinet was brought to me without asking.
The choice in movies and games were decent, not to mention FREE. Since this was a new Airbus, it had separate video monitors for each passenger. You are allowed to choose what movie you would like to watch individually, as well as play video games such as Tetris and Solitaire, and listen to a wide variety of music. You can even catch local news and travel information on these units.
The flight itself was good, aside from very minor turbulance.
The Bad:
The plane was 1 HOUR late for takeoff due to they didn't clean the plane in advance. All passengers had to STAND in the longest line I had ever seen for 2 hours before boarding the plane. No apologies were given.
Seats were a bit uncomfortable, even though I had more room than most passengers due to I had a bulkhead seat assigned.
ONCE AGAIN, we were not assigned next to each other. We had to again ask another passenger if we could change seats so we could sit together. (Again, a very nice male passenger had no problems with this...lucky us!)
They ran out of non-alcoholic soda beverages at dinner. I wasn't about to get loaded with an infant in my care, so I settled for warm (ick!) orange juice.
THE RETURN TRIP TO PARIS:
The Good:
There was one nice stewardess. Yep, that's about it.
Oh, and the food was still good.
The Bad:
AGAIN, not assigned next to each other. Had to ask another male passenger to switch seats. This time, it was a person who wasn't so nice. He gave up his seat next to me for my companion, but very reluctantly.
For this very LONG flight, I was supposed to be assigned a seat where a bassinet could be attached so my baby could sleep. Before boarding the plane, I noticed it was not the seat which was agreed on. The help desk moved my seat, and promised I would have a bassinet. Once on the plane, I noticed there was no bassinet clips as they promised me at the help desk. Sure, there was one nearby, but it was broken, so it couldn't support an infant safely. I tried nicely to explain to the flight crew that without a bassinet, my child wouldn't be able to sleep, and that I had 2 more planes to catch right after this one. One stewardess offered a weak apology, but assured me there was nothing they could do. One particularly CRUEL steward told me to have my baby sleep on the FLOOR. I knew I would be trapped on this plane for at least 9 hours, so I did my best to suck it up gracefully and make the best out of the situation, still smiling and polite even though he suggested I flop my baby on the dirty floor in front of me. Six hours later in the flight, I went to the bathroom, only to find as I ventured to the back of the cabin there were PLENTY of bassinet seats that weren't broken on the plane, mostly with people without children sitting next to them. In fact, there were two other babies sleeping peacefully in bassinets in the next section, only a third of the bassinets being used! How could they tell my 6 month old child to sleep on the floor, when there was plenty of bassinets available in the plane?!? I suppose only FRENCH children were allowed bassinets on that flight. I'm still seeing red over that.
After arriving at Satan's Airport once again, you can imagine my delight when they didn't unload my baby stroller. Yep, the jerks at Air France decided to check it all the way through...so I had to carry my infant, a heavy diaper bag, and my carry on bag, and my purse in my arms while trying to connect to my next flight. (There are no wheeled luggage carriers to rent inside Charles De Gaulle!) The flight was late arriving, so I only had one hour to connect. ANOTHER BAD THING ABOUT THIS AIRPORT: For some reason, even on connecting flights, you have to stand in long lines to show your passport to every Frenchie who wants to see it. Expect to do this at least twice before each flight. I had bruises running across my shoulders and arms from the bags. Not just bruises....I was actually bleeding through my skin. I had no sleep on the flight because I had no place to put my child. I had no time for a cigarette. Yes folks, I would have shot myself at that moment if I only had a gun. I was in tears. I grabbed the first person behind a desk and cried loudly so everyone could hear. I told her about how I was going to be late for my flight, I told her I'd never make it in time if I had to go through the passport checks, I told her about how they left me without a stroller. I showed her the blood coming from my arms and shoulders. I told her how humiliated and angered I was that I was expected to have my baby sleep on the floor when there were facilities available. I was shaking from head to toe, in tears, child in my arms, and about to faint.
Did she give a rat's *ss? NO. But seeing how I was on the verge of going postal, she grabbed one of my bags from my bleeding arms, and whisked us past the security checks. She then left us at our departing gate, giving me 15 minutes to get a cigarette. Leaving my son with my friend, I ran to the smoking station nearby. (Even though it's acceptable to smoke anywhere you damn well please at this airport, I still had the courtesy to smoke in a designated area.)
I was stressed, still shaking, bleeding, and crying. I took a puff of my cigarette....
...and passed out on the floor.
I'm really not sure how long I had blacked out, maybe for about 5 minutes. One thing is for sure, nobody stopped to help me. In hindsight I guess it was really all to much for me. I guess the flow of nicotine to my frazzled brain was the straw that finally broke the camel's back. After waking up, I brushed myself off, grateful I didn't land in one of the numerous piles of doo-doo, and ran back to my baby, and the next flight to Stockholm.
THE RETURN TRIP TO STOCKHOLM:
The Good:
It was a short flight. I was so ready to get home....
The Bad:
AGAIN..........NOT SEATED TOGETHER!!!!! Geez, you think you book seats 3 months in advance and you might actually not get dicked around??? Not with Air France. NOT ONE SINGLE FLIGHT WERE WE ASSIGNED NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN THE SEATS ORIGINALLY AGREED UPON! ARRGH!
Very Turbulant flight. Even worse landing. Thank god my child was buckled.
Had to sit next to a Nigerian man who had diarrhea. Due to the turbulance, he wasn't allowed to leave his seat. No need to tell you what happened next. Despite the smell, my son seemed to like him, and ended up smiling and cooing at the man the whole trip.
Once we touched down in Stockholm. I made myself a solemn vow I would NEVER...EVER return to France again.
I promised myself even if I lived to be 150, I'd never again see the inside of an Air France plane.
Freed of the claws of French Air Travel, I happily skipped to the baggage claim area, knowing that I was finally....FINALLY on home soil. Back in Stockholm, catching the next flight on SAS, the most predictable, comfortable airline I know. I'd never have to deal with Air France as long as I live!!!!!!! Oh happy day!!!
Then it hit me.....
My luggage...................
Staring at the same green backpack circling on the carousel for an hour....... I finally faced the horrible truth.
It wasn't over.
Now that they didn't have me, they took my luggage hostage.
The point dear friends, is much like this review: It doesn't ever end.
Please..............save yourselves!!!!
Recommended:
No
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Epinions.com ID:
queenofallevil
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Reviews written: 29
Trusted by: 49 members
About Me:
I thought I was out....but they keep pulling me back in!
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