Memphis: Blues and Bluff
Written: May 27 '00 (Updated May 27 '00)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: A nice place to sleep between St. Louis and New Orleans
Cons: Intolerance, stifling heat, poor education
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| jcgrow's Full Review: Memphis |
My advice for those who are thinking of visiting Memphis is simple. Don't do it.
What to see
What is there to see in Memphis? Not much.
There are some ducks downtown which waddle up a red carpet every afternoon, and I'll admit that they're cute, but there are ducks everywhere and they're all cute. What's truly adorable is the price of the drinks at the hotel that keeps the ducks. It'll make you blush.
Lots of folks used to come to Memphis to see Graceland, but Elvis is so out that even making fun of this dead man's fans is passe. Graceland is a mediocre yet prolific tribute to a mediocre yet prolific man. If you're one of the dying breed who still can easily remember more than 3 of the King's songs, then Graceland might be worth the trip for the air conditioning. If you're hoping to find a tacky temple, you'll be disappointed. Yes, Graceland is truly tasteless, but not excitingly so. Really, the house is just a dump.
Sometimes the small museums in Memphis get a portion of someone else's exhibit to show for awhile, and it is nice for us residents to attend, but that's just because we can't get to cities with real museums. If you want art, go to D.C. or New York. If you want small-time schlock, by all means come to Memphis.
Other Memphis attractions in brief
Civil Rights Museum: why spend money in the city that killed King?
Beale St: Beale St. is to Bourbon St. as a riverboat is to Las Vegas
Barbeque: try your local supermarket, it's better
Quaint Traditions
Isn't is just so sweet how they still call it the War Between The States down here? Memphis is still fighting the Civil War and Civil Rights, so if you're interested in a history lesson, by all means come. Visit Confederate Park. However, if bigotry and ignorance bother you, this isn't the town to come to.
What about the much ballyhooed Southern Hospitality? Hospitality down here is of the sort that spares you from having to see the knife as it enters your body. They're genteel enough to stab you in the back. Personally, I prefer Northern Hospitality. At least up there, when someone is kind you know they're really being kind.
If you want to get an honest look at all the manifestations of Southern "honor" to be found in Memphis, I suggest you visit the website Memphis Decomposed, a non-commercial guide to the city that doesn't pull any punches.
If you hate Memphis so much, why don't you just leave?
I am! I'm working on the arrangements and hope to be out of town within a year. Bye, y'all!
Recommended:
No
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Epinions.com ID:
jcgrow
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Location: Trumansburg, New York, United States
Reviews written: 238
Trusted by: 50 members
About Me:
Editor of IrregularTimes.com, looking at the world at through an irregular lens.
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