An Epinions Learning Experience
Dec 23 '00
I can't recall exactly how I stumbled onto Epinions. I do know the road which lead me here was to learn more about a product. What kept me coming back has changed since I joined last Spring.
After I had joined Epinions, it took some time for me to feel like I was at home. I used the site more like a non-member than a member. If you don't know what I mean, stick around and you will eventually. I read reviews on products that I was considering to purchase. Mainly, I read Community Center reviews till my eyes burned.
Oooo, was there ever a lot to learn in regards to this site. What I never bargained on was learning more about myself in the process. As I have always stated, the agreements I have made to myself on rating, trusting, and commenting have all been and continue to be an ever-changing, dynamic process.
It didn't take long for me to realize that I needed to do some self-promotion. If I wanted my reviews to be highly ranked to members and non-members, I needed to be rated and trusted. In the beginning these three goals were all very important to me. It was never about money. No, instead it was my ego.
When I had started to gain trusters and trusting, my time spent here was no longer solely on self-promotion. My time was spent on reading reviews written by members who I enjoyed reading and on products that I wished to learn more. Members like: slick4591 who helped me in my earlier days and sparked in me another level of excellence to achieve; Mattjoe whose 5 gifts review made me laugh till I cried; Hard_To_Please who reviews made me laugh and his personality allowed me to joke without thinking he would take it in the wrong way; Kevlog whose reviews reveal kindness and could always conjure up my own memories; and mobiprof whose reviews are surprisingly longer than any of mine, yet are thought provoking and informative.
My experience here changed slowly when I started becoming loyal to members. I made it a point, my obligation, to read particular reviews. I soon became inundated with return reads, catching up with reading reviews by those that I trusted, and occasionally by those who trusted me. My experience was no longer based purely on entertainment or even becoming an informative consumer anymore. It was slightly for survival based on the agreements that I had made to myself on how I would conduct myself on this site and what standards I had expected from others.
Had I not been experiencing some personal issues concerning my twin daughter's feeding disorders, my "obligatory" experience might have gone on longer. Who knows? Anyhow, my time spent on Epinions had become significantly reduced during the past couple of months. I told myself and believed that it was only a temporary situation.
Well, last week, my twins finally had their feeding evaluation at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. My hopes that their feeding problems would be solved easily and quickly were dashed. It is going to take a lot of time, patience, perseverance, tests, and therapy both at home and at Children's Hospital. Neither I or the doctors know how long it will take for the end to their feeding problems. We only know that it will take a long time and that it can be overcome. I am not writing this for sympathy. I just want everyone to know where I am coming from and where I am going.
Where am I going? Well, I can tell you this much, I can't bear to say good-bye, relinquish my account, or delete my reviews. I can't continue with the past agreements either. What does this mean? This means changing the agreements with myself and the implied agreements with other.
I will read and rate reviews on products that I am considering to purchase. I will read reviews of members that I enjoy when time allows. I will write reviews on products that I feel strongly about when I get the time. I will not be taking part in return reads all the time since my time is very limited.
Will my reviews that I write suffer a higher ranking? Yes. Will members stop reading or trusting me? Some will, some won't. Will I feel guilty for not keeping up with other's reviews? No, because I am telling you my reasons. Will I be hurt or upset if members take me off their WOT? No! I no longer look to the members who placed me on their WOT as a source of ego-boosting like I had in the past. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to be trusted. But, it's not necessary for me now in the context in which I am going to be using this site. If my reviews rank low, the only person who suffers is the one who doesn't find the information they needed in the reviews listed before mine (on the condition that the information needed could have been found in my review to begin with). However, that is only their fault for not reading long enough. It's not my burden to shoulder by not self-promoting myself.
I have decided that I am going back to my roots. For now, I am going back to how it was when I first began my Epinions experience. However, this time I am going to take all that I have learned.
What I have gained here has been more on how to write about products, rate others, and trust. It has been more than helping me decide on what product to buy too. I have gained a better understanding about myself. It has been a learning experience that has helped me in life.
Every single one of you on this site, including abusers and adversaries, have helped me to become aware of who I am. It has helped me to become a better person. Yes, it has. How I trust, rate, interpret, react, and act reflect the person that I am. I can only say thank you for showing me who I am.
I would like to thank these members for what they have helped me to see the positives and negatives in myself, either through their reviews or conversations:
Chriseyb ...by sharing your sick jokes that make me choke on ice, I learned just how sick I am too!
DnDn4kidz ...by sharing your thoughts on God, I saw my own thoughts on God and spirituality. ...by sharing links to reviews, you know what I see! LOL Feel free to kept doing so when you see me online.
Gracef ...by giving me help, I saw my desire for understanding and growth.
Freak369 ...by sharing your beliefs on the WOT, I began to question mine.
Willeftk ...by expressing your gratitude, I learned that what I might feel as no big deal, others may not. You are not mundane.
Miridunn ...by sharing yourself through all of your actions, I see a part of me in you and I admire the parts that I do not yet have in myself.
Gungian ...from interpreting your comments, I see my own insecurities ...from adding me to your WOT, I see my own desire for forgiveness and acceptance.
Bgoodday and Gypsyrose ...for your understanding e-mails, I see my need for support as I make these changes on Epinions and in my life. Thank you.
3Boys1Girl ...from my reactions and slinking into the depths of negative behavior, I saw my need and wasted energy used to make and prove a point for justice. I will try with all my power to no longer allow myself to take attacks as personal and respond to threats with fear. Thank you for helping me to realize that your reality of who I am is not my reality. Thank you for helping to know that I cannot take fear based threats seriously.
To members that I have added and then deleted from my WOT due to different reasons ...I now understand that my uneasiness when I deleted you stemmed from agreements that were not based on truth. I either added or deleted you without knowing enough about myself. I apologize.
To YOU ...(At the risk of my review becoming longer than mobiprof's, I ask you to insert your name here) I thank you for reading my reviews and writing yours. Although, I didn't personally tell you how you have helped me, know that you have.
This review is not only about my experience. This review is about how you see yourself through my reviews and conversations. For those that won't rate, that says something about you. For those that chose to rate with a certain rating, that says something too. All of this says something, not to me; but, to you, if you will only listen.
This review is not an exit essay. More like: you have all made my experience here memorable, I hope to see you around soon.
***Note*** If this reviews sounds like something out of the book, The Four Agreements, that would be correct. Do you smell a review coming? That depends on if I get the time, which I am doubtful. So, do yourself a favor. By pass reading the reviews on the book and just get it already.
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Epinions.com ID:
wavesandshells
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 - Top 1000 |
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Member: Wendy
Location: Happy Valley, PA
Reviews written: 62
Trusted by: 137 members
About Me:
Hey Mom, how many last nerves do you have?
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