The name Gino Felino is incredibly fun to say. Try it.

If Sean Connery ever starred in a porno, it would have to be called 0069: Bondage, Hardcore Bondage.

My face loves your face. Just accept it.

Wearing a cast on your good arm for 3 months forces you to become good at writing with your not-so-good hand. Then, when the cast is taken off, that hand becomes retarded again, immediately.

I compare musicals to the experience of clipping your toe nails: except, ya know, less fun.

Who framed Roger Rabbit? The Nazis.

Iowa has everything that you could ever want: corn, hills, eateries, places to purchase clothing, corn, sunsets, trees, lots of wind, corn, warm January days, dried paint, hair, corn, and last but not least, Wisconsin as a next-door neighbor. We rock hardcore.

Dyslexics of the world, untie!